I have been a terrible blogger for the last couple of weeks. I have thought about blogging every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, as is my (plan, custom, habit), but every time I get to the “Add New Post” page, I can’t do it.
I have ideas, but just not the energy or creativity to flesh them out.
I have time, but just not the motivation to use it to blog.
I’m in a funk.
I have noticed in the last couple of weeks the depression has gotten heavier and the anxiety has gotten higher. I have noticed that I am not texting, calling, talking, or Facebooking as much as I typically do. I have noticed I am withdrawing from life, little by little.
There’s no explanation. There’s no reason that I can pinpoint. It is what it is.
I know this happens to me sometimes. I don’t see it coming. And I don’t necessarily see it happening until I am in the midst of it. And once in the midst of it, I don’t know how to get out of it.
I try. I pray. I read. I make myself reach out. I force myself to smile. I purposely put myself with people instead of staying by myself.
But that doesn’t necessarily change anything. I have to wait it out. I have to pray that it lifts sooner rather than later. And I have to remember that it will lift. And I will get to the other side. Just like I have many times before.
I don’t write this post so you will feel sorry for me. I write this post for those of you who struggle like me. There is hope. And it comes in unexpected ways. This week, it was a reading in Jesus Calling and it came at a time when I really needed it.
If you are struggling right now, I encourage you to look for the beauty, the reasons to be thankful, the life all around you. It may not change your circumstances, but it will change your outlook on those circumstances.
That’s what I am working on today.