You know you are getting close to the end of things to talk about for your 31-Days of Parenting blog posts when you resort to writing about sex.
But this is another one of those important things that we have to do as parents. We have to teach our children about their bodies. We have to teach them about sex. We have to teach them what it means to honor God with their bodies. We have to teach them these things because if we don’t, someone else will, and we might not like what they learn from someone else.
This is a tough subject to bring up. It is hard to talk about shaving legs, periods, breasts, erections, and wet dreams. it is uncomfortable to talk about how exactly it works for babies to be made and born and then realize that now your children know that their parents have sex.
But, as with everything, when you can talk with your children openly about these things and not let them see your discomfort, then you are making it so they will be comfortable to come talk with you about questions that arise.
So how exactly do you do it? How do you have that talk about the birds and the bees?
Start early. By the time they are going to kindergarten, they can begin understanding the difference between boys and girls.
As they grow older, you add pieces and more detail. This isn’t a one-time conversation. It has to be ongoing.
When something comes up on television or the radio that needs explaining, explain it in age-appropriate terms.
Don’t gloss over things. Don’t pretend that if you don’t talk about it, it won’t matter. It does matter. And I think too often, parents have avoided this topic which has made sex a taboo and “wrong” thing rather than the beautiful thing that God created.
I have used some books in The New Learning About Sex Series (see resources below) as a jumping off point. The books that I have used have been well written and are written for a variety of age-levels. If you need some direction, these books would be a great resource.
Find what works for you. Open the door to honest conversation with your kids. It will open the door for them to have honest conversation with you as well.
The New Learning About Sex Series
- Why Boys and Girls are Different (ages 4-6) – for boys – for girls
- Where Do Babies Come From? (ages 7-9) – for boys – for girls
- How You Are Changing (ages 10-12) – for boys – for girls
- Sex and the New You (ages 13-15) – for boys – for girls
- Love, Sex & God (ages 16+)
- How to Talk Confidently with Your Child About Sex (for parents)