Life is…

How would you finish this sentence?

Here are some of the endings I thought of:

  • good
  • short
  • strange
  • beautiful
  • a highway
  • hard
  • a journey
  • an adventure
  • complicated
  • difficult
  • expensive
  • fun
  • wonderful
  • precious
  • messy
  • colorful
  • cruel
  • unfair
  • yours
  • a dream
  • eternal

Today I have been bombarded with the fragility of life. First thing this morning I saw no fewer than six different posts on Facebook about loss of loved ones. Six.

Fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, spouses, cousins, and friends whose earthly life is over. My heart is breaking for those who are facing these losses right now. I’ve been there and I know that it is hard in ways you can’t even comprehend until you are in the mist of the grief.

Of all of these losses, there is one that hit me like a punch in the gut this morning. We were just talking about him last night. The last update we saw just over a week ago was positive. We thought things were going well. And then suddenly they weren’t. And then this morning, we learned that he was gone, his fight over.

This one is tough for so many reasons. We shouldn’t be saying goodbye to friends our age. Of the four guys who stood up with Mike at our wedding, this is the second one we have lost to brain cancer. B was one of the most fun-loving people I have ever met in my life. My heart breaks for his wife and family who now have to find a new normal.

One of the questions that gets asked at times like these is, “why?” Why did this have to happen? Why do young people have to die? Why this person? Why now? Why? Why? Why?

And the thing is, the answer to this question is almost always, “I don’t know.” Which isn’t really an answer at all. In this life there will always be good and bad, joy and sorrow, gain and loss; it is simply the result of living in a world where sin entered through the choices of humankind, and with it brought darkness, pain, and trouble.

Perhaps the most troublesome issue in all of life is this, what we call the problem of evil, or more accurately the question of why a good God allows bad things to happen. (The theological term for this is theodicy, in case you wanted to know. If you didn’t want to know, you can be like my son and say, “thanks, but I don’t remember asking.” I won’t hear you, but you can say it.)

Theologians have attempted to reconcile the good God, bad things dilemma for centuries and there are all kinds of ways to address the issues and questions raised, (don’t worry, I’m not gonna pull out the theology books and get into the nitty gritty here) and yet, humanity still struggles with this conundrum. Why? Because pain hurts. Sorrow hurts. Loss hurts. And no one likes to hurt. And because no one likes to hurt, we look for ways to place blame, and for some, the easiest place to lay blame is on God.

One of the scriptures that we often use to talk about how Christians can go on living in the midst of troubles is John 16:33. here are just a few of the ways that this scripture is translated/paraphrased:

In other words, in the midst of anything and everything that the world can throw at you, you can still have peace and be confident that all will turn out for the best because the work of Jesus Christ has already taken care of it all. Here is where it get’s tricky to understand, though: while Christ has already overcome the world, we don’t see it. It’s already done, and yet it’s not fully evident to our eyes yet. And to live in the space between requires us to have faith.

When I was still a pretty small child, I spent a lot of time reading and memorizing passages in the bible. King James Version of course. This passage that speaks of the nature of faith was one of them:

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1

What I love most about this particular verse in this particular translation is the fact that faith is considered EVIDENCE. Our faith comes as a result of believing certain things are true about our God and our Savior, and that faith is EVIDENT in the way that we live our lives in light of those things that are unseen with human eyes.

Let me give you an example of this kind of faith (that also happens to brag on my mom a little.)

My dad passed away suddenly almost three years ago now. It was a HUGE blow to all of us, but was hardest for my mom, who lost her husband of nearly 45 years, less than a week before celebrating their 45th Wedding Anniversary. My parents did nearly everything together, and while they had been living in Greenville for a few years at that point, they didn’t have the roots here like they would have in Taylorville where they lived a big chunk of their married life.

Mom’s faith is what got her through those early days, and what still gets her through today. She misses my dad greatly, but she believes not only that Dad is with the Lord, but that God loves and cares for her every day. She has made new friends, created new routines, reached out to others, and at times I think she has a more active social life than I do. She also believes that God can (and does) use their story as a way to show others the saving power and grace of Jesus Christ. Her faith in God and the power of God’s story in their lives led her to write a book, and work hard to get the book published in order to share it with as many people as possible.

This is what faith looks like for her. This book (and so much more in her life) is just one piece of EVIDENCE that points to her deep faith and hope found in Jesus Christ.

While life can be all of those things listed at the top of this post, and much more, today I choose to finish this sentence this way:

Life is an opportunity in which to live lives of faith that is EVIDENT in all that we say and do.

How would you finish this sentence today? Leave a comment or send me a message and let’s talk!

Pick the Fruit

Happy New Year!

I know, I am a week late, but this is the first moment I have had to sit down and write the post that has been on my heart for a few days.

I don’t know about you, but for me, the start of a new year holds so much promise for something new. Especially when I am coming off of a year that seemed to be a struggle. If you have read my blog long, you know that something I work on regularly is gratitude, which has truly changed the way I look at life. Most of the time.

But there are always those times when I am sick, tired, overwhelmed, or frustrated, and my focus on gratitude falters. That happened some in 2019, and to be honest, more than once I may have said that I was just done with 2019.

Yet, while there were definitely struggles in a number of areas, there were also many joys and much fun in 2019. I think that is one of the reasons that the book I am currently reading, and this one section in particular has just stayed with me the last few days.

I was given the book, Searching for Happiness, by Martin Thielen, and it has been my “before bed” book since the start of the year. (I almost always have a non-fiction book that I can read a chapter of before bed. If I try to read fiction before bed, I stay up way too late.) In chapter two, Thielen recounts a story he heard from John Claypool about his grandfather.

For decades a beautiful plum tree stood in the backyard of John Claypool’s grandfather’s house. The tree was the prize of the farmer and the pride of John’s grandfather. Then one day a tornado swept through the community. the storm destroyed many trees, including that plum tree. The violent winds ripped the tree from its roots and left it lying lifeless on its side. After the tornado blew over, people ventured outside to survey the damage. Before long a few neighborhood men gathered in John Claypool’s grandfather’s yard. They stood in a silent circle, gazing down at the once beautiful plum tree, now ruined beyond repair. Finally, one of the men asked John’s granddaddy, “What are you going to do with that tree?” After a long pause the old man replied, “I’m going to pick the fruit and burn the rest.”

Martin Thielen

“I’m going to pick the fruit and burn the rest.”

This simple statement is so profound that I can’t stop thinking about it.

What if we looked at yesterday that way? What if we looked at 2019 that way? What if we looked at our whole life that way?

Looking at what is good, what brought joy, what inspired hope, what we learned and how we grew, but letting the other stuff go is picking the fruit and burning the rest.

So, what fruit are you “picking” from 2019?

For me it is things like graduating from seminary the same weekend my daughter graduated from high school, a girls weekend in Memphis, a 3-family trip to Southhaven, Michigan, a family trip to Gulf Shores, Alabama, a great Vine to Wine 1/2 Marathon and 5K, my son turning 16 and getting his license, a wonderful internship experience at First Presbyterian Church Edwardsville, Illinois, an amazing family, a great group of friends, lots of books read and lessons learned.

And as I move into 2020, I will continue to learn to enjoy the fruit. I hope you will as well.

It’s Time for Change

I like to read. Anyone who knows me is aware of this. And I like to read lots of different things. Sometimes I am into memoirs. Sometimes romantic suspense. Sometimes non-fiction. Sometimes classics.

Last week I finished reading Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. I thought I had read it when I was younger, but apparently not, because it was not familiar to me at all. I loved it and had a hard time putting it down.

The real reason I read it was because I was told about March by Geraldine Brooks, the story of the girls’ father from Little Women. So of course, the minute I finished Little Women, I picked up March.

Yes, the story is told by another author, so it is her imagination at work, but nevertheless, I am having the same issue with this book – I can’t put it down.

But what is drawing me in more than anything is the fact that Mr. March is an abolitionist whose convictions led him to sign up as a chaplain in the Civil War.

I am only about half-way through the book, but the character of Mr. March in regards to his position on slavery is fascinating and inspiring. Standing up for what he believes is right, even when others disagree, sometimes very harshly; working to help the slaves – whether still in servitude or “freed” (escaped, conscripted to work for a minimal wage for the union – not exactly free); this man not only believed that slavery was wrong, he did what he could to back up that belief and treat all as those who bear the image of God.

Fast forward to today. Yes, slavery is no longer legal. Yes, we have granted rights to people of all skin colors. But have we really moved that much past the time in which fictional Mr. March was living?

I sat in a gathering of Christian women recently, in a breakout session about racism. I was stunned to hear some of the questions that these (white) women had about the issue. When our presenter made a comment about our Constitution being racist, people were shocked and didn’t understand what she meant. When she said that black people could be prejudiced against whites, but not racist because racism implies power and privilege, I could feel the discomfort and lack of understanding in the room.

In the last few years, issues of racism, not just individual but systemic, have once again been brought to the forefront with events like those that happened just down the road from me in Ferguson, Missouri. As far as we have come since President Lincoln and the Emancipation Proclamation, and since Martin Luther King, Jr. and “I Have a Dream,” it is not far enough.

As a white woman, I cannot fully understand the struggles that my black brothers and sisters have to deal with on a daily basis. I don’t have to wonder when my son leaves the house if he will come back home alive. I don’t have to worry that he might get passed over for a job because of the color of his skin. And it breaks my heart that this is the reality in our country.

Issues around race (which is a human construct – not God’s because we were all created as the human race), are complex. They are hard to understand – especially for those who have never had to deal with them. They are even harder to address because of the ways in which they have been built into our country from the beginning. (Remember how when the white Europeans came to this country they kicked the indigenous people off the land they had been living on for years?)

But here’s the thing. Just because it is hard, doesn’t mean it is not worth it. And God has told us over and over in the Bible that we are to be about the business of lifting up the oppressed and downtrodden.

Also at this women’s meeting, a young black woman, Glynis Brooks, came and portrayed the story of Harriet Tubman. It was one of the most amazing things that I had ever seen. The fear, the cruelty, the bravery, and the determination of this woman as she escaped from slavery, and then led others in their escape through the Underground Railroad inspired me and broke my heart all at the same time.

I was asked in the small group gathering about racism why I attended that particular breakout. My answer was this: I can’t know firsthand what my black brothers and sisters experience on a daily basis, but I can listen to their stories, I can educate myself about what they face, I can acknowledge my privilege, I can speak out about the injustice that I see, and I can hopefully help those with the power to change the system to see what I see: that we haven’t come far enough and we have more work to do.

Broken and Happy

One of my favorite bloggers, Jenny Lawson of thebloggess.com, released her second book yesterday. It is called Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things. In it, Jenny talks about her lifelong battle with mental illness. Humorously. Sounds like an interesting combination, doesn’t it?

Jenny says that, “We all get our share of tragedy or insanity or drama, but what we do with that horror is what makes all the difference.”

We are all broken. For some of us it takes the form of mental illness. For others it is physical. Sometimes it is in our relationships with others. Sometimes it is in our relationships with ourselves.

But the thing that Jenny encourages us all to do is to choose to be Furiously Happy. To be irrationally joyful and vehemently happy. This is sometimes easier said than done, but when we can’t pull that off on our own, we can always read a chapter of Jenny’s book. Because it will make you laugh.* I promise.

Jenny’s first book, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir made me laugh out loud. Often. Her blog and book have been a source of (edited) readings to my family and friends. So if you like humor, she is a good source for it.

But what has really drawn me to Jenny’s work is the fact that she taught me this: depression lies. Over and over again when I am in the midst of a rough patch, I remind myself that depression lies. It says things to me like:

  • You aren’t good enough.
  • You are a terrible wife/mother/health & fitness coach/pastor/housekeeper/[insert lots of other things here].
  • The best thing for you to do is just give up and lay on the couch binge-watching Netflix.
  • You loser, you just spent the entire evening on the couch binge-watching Netflix!
  • You will never get better.
  • You are going to fight me the rest of your life.

But when I remind myself that depression lies, eventually I can get to a place where I replace the lies of depression with the TRUTH of who I am.

  • I am good enough.
  • I am a good wife/mother/health & fitness coach/pastor/housekeeper/[insert lots of other things here].
  • Sometimes it is okay to rest on the couch and binge-watch Netflix. But today, I can binge-watch while I clean up the living room.
  • I am not a loser for letting the couch call me in to its warmth. I am not a loser for binge-watching Netflix. Sometimes a busy woman needs some down time.
  • I will get better.
  • Even when it puts up a fight, I will win over the depression.

Sometimes it is hard to get to this place of speaking TRUTH over the lies of depression, but the more I remind myself of the lies, the more the truth is able to be heard.

I have been walking through this journey for a long time now, and recently have walked through it with a friend who doesn’t yet recognize the lies of depression. I am trying to help her learn this very important lesson. One that I was able to learn because Jenny shared her story.

I am not saying that simply by reading a book you can conquer your own mental illness battle, but I am saying that you get to choose how you will overcome. I choose to be Furiously Happy.

I am broken because depression lies.

I am Furiously Happy because I am a Daughter of the King.

Will you share your broken and happy stories with me today?

*Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by bad language, find a different book or blog to read that makes you laugh. Because Jenny isn’t afraid to throw out strong language.

Monday Musings: Random

Monday Musings

It’s Monday. And I am feeling a bit Garfield-like about today.

Garfield Monday

Not that anything bad has happened. I am just tired. And getting sick. And blah.

So instead of drowning in “I hate Monday” madness, I thought I would share a few random things that are going through my head today.

  • The laughter of my children is the most amazing sound in the entire world. And I was privileged to hear lots of it this weekend.
  • If you like fun apps, you need to download Relay. My friends and I have been sending funny gif messages back and forth since we discovered it and I may have spent too much time yesterday looking for funny ones to add to my collection for future messages.
  • If you like books about strong women paired with fantasy, you need to read Pennyroyal Academy. I just started it a few days ago and haven’t had a ton of time to read, but I am loving it and can’t wait for Anne to read it, too. Nothing like squelching the idea that princesses have to be of a royal bloodline and are just pretty faces with the fact that princesses are warriors for their kingdoms, just like knights.
  • When the weather turns cold, the depression sure comes on fast for me. I have had to fight to get my workouts in this past week, and I have not done very well with eating right, either. Here’s to a new day of doing what I know helps to keep the depression under control – exercise and eating right!
  • Singing at the top of my voice to some of my favorite music is one of my favorite things to do, ever. Thank you Trisha Yearwood for music that fills my soul!
  • A good cup of tea makes me smile this time of year when the cold is starting to seep into my bones. These are my three favorite varieties: Trader Joe’s Decaf Irish Breakfast Blend, Good Earth Decaf Sweet & Spicy, and Stash Decaf Chai Spice.
  • I have been working on a crochet project just because it is a pattern I have always wanted to try, but I have been looking for a new gift project and this week I was blessed with not only a person on my heart for whom to do a project, but the perfect project placed right into my hands. I found the perfect yarn yesterday and am looking forward to beginning on the project on Thursday. So excited to be able to bless someone!!
  • For the last few years, my family has done various forms of daily Thanksgiving. We have had a wall of Thanksgiving where we added post-it notes every day. We have had posters on each of our doors that we wrote reasons we were thankful for each other. This year, life has been a bit chaotic and I haven’t gotten anything organized to do daily, so I am thinking about other ideas. Right now, I am thinking of making family “Thanksgiving” trees on Thanksgiving day with all of our family that will be together. How are you practicing Thanksgiving with your family this month?

I warned you that this would be a random post! But just putting these things down in print has helped me move past my initial Garfield-esque response to Monday. If you are having a case of the Mondays, perhaps you should make a list, too!!