Category: Body Work

An Attempt to De-Funk

I’m in a funk. Life is crazy busy. I’m fighting a major depression episode. I am trying to exercise, but am doing good to get up to do so two days a week (which I realize isn’t terrible, but when I am used to 5-6 days a week and a lot more mileage, this feels like failure). I am trying to eat well, but some days I just don’t. My clothes are tight and I know how to fix it, but can’t seem to do so these days.

I have been constantly thinking about what I need to do and determining to do the right and good thing, but it seems like I fail every day.

Our community is doing The Biggest Loser again. I had great success doing that two years ago. Not so much last year. A friend of mine is leading it and asked me to consider being a team leader. I told her no. Another friend is helping her and has been talking about joining a team. I told her I had no desire to do so.

Yesterday, as I was at home with a sick child, it occurred to me that perhaps I should take on a team. Maybe focusing on helping others will help me climb out of my funk. So I sent a text to my friend and she signed me up. And both friends have signed up for my team. We’ll see who else joins us.

I don’t know that this is the answer, but I have learned that when certain ideas hit me as hard as this one did, I need to sit up and take notice because it is often a prompt from the Lord to take action in a certain way.

So, I guess I am going to listen to this prompt and see if we can bring an end to this funk that I am in.

Want to join my team?

Oh,the Places You’ll Go: A Runner’s Thought Process

Sometimes when I am running I feel a little bit like Dug, the dog from the Disney movie Up. (If you don’t get that reference – SQUIRREL – immediately go find that movie and watch it. Not only is it a great movie, my family and I may yell out SQUIRREL at the oddest times.)

What I mean by that is this – my thought process is all over the place. I’m not sure there is anything that I haven’t thought about on a run. So today, I thought I would give you a peek into my mind, scary as that may be.

  • I don’t want to get up and run. I have to get up and run. But I am tired. But you will feel better when you do.
  • Oh, the weather is so (nice, crappy, cold, hot windy) today, and I am up and running to start off the day.
  • Wow, am I starting too fast?
  • This feels so good. I love running!
  • My legs feel like lead? Why am I doing this?
  • I should keep a list of all the different kinds of roadkill that I have seen on runs. Squirrels, raccoons, possums, snakes, mice, birds, turkeys, cats, skunks.
  • Oh, I hope that isn’t a skunk over there.
  • Good, it is just a couple of birds.
  • How is my form? Make sure you are hitting mid-foot. Lean a little forward. Good.
  • I should pray, that would pass the time. (Start praying – two minutes later – SQUIRREL!)
  • Wow, I am really going at a good pace. (Check watch and see I am going slower than normal).
  • I wonder what these people are doing up so early and driving around town. They are probably wondering why I am running this early.
  • What is my schedule today? Oh, yeah. How am I going to make that work?
  • Work. What is my plan for work today?
  • I hate this hill. No, I love this hill. This hill is my friend and we will make it to the top together.
  • I love being able to run with my friends. Oh, I need to tell them __________.
  • Is that lightning?
  • I need to talk to so-and-so about such-and-such. (Then completely plan out said conversation in my head.)
  • Only ___________ to go.
  • There was that article in Runner’s World last month about breathing. I should try that. (I try that).
  • Random song pops in my head – I run to that beat.
  • Is my leg hurting or am I just imagining things.
  • Don’t look at your watch. You are just on a nice leisurely run. Don’t look at your watch. Don’t do it. Don’t!
  • I want to stop and walk. Ok. You can walk when you get to that corner. (Get to that corner). Eh, you can keep running, don’t stop.
  • What should I say about this run when I put it on DailyMile later? (Then plan out clever wording that I promptly forget.)
  • That sunrise is beautiful! Thank you, Lord!
  • Oh my gosh! I am sweating like a pig!
  • This Spi-belt is supposed to not bounce, why is it bouncing? (Move Spi-belt to a different location on my hips.)
  • This shirt and these shorts don’t work together, the shirt keeps sliding up. I have to remember not to wear this together again.
  • What the heck is that driver thinking? I’m wearing a headlight and flashing armband, surely they can see me!
  • I can’t hear my feet hitting the ground. Good job, you are running lightly.
  • Man I am breathing hard, is it the weather? Am I running too fast? Am I going to have an asthma attack? (Look at watch.) Oh, that’s my pace, no wonder I’m breathing hard.
  • I wonder if the girls turned at this corner. This is where we usually turn, but I don’t see them.
  • My leg is hurting, should I stop or push through. Push through.
  • This town really needs some running paths. And lights. Definitely more streetlights. I could help the city plan that out. (And proceed to make a plan in my mind.)
  • I wonder how many miles I have run in these shoes. I will have to remember to check that later. (Again, I promptly forget to do that.)
  • Almost there, just _______ to go. Why don’t you push it a little for this last _______.
  • Yay! I did it! I finished the run!. Wow, that felt good (or terrible). So glad that is done and I can say I got my run in today.

See what I mean? And that’s just a smattering of the types of things I am thinking on my runs. Sometimes my thoughts are productive – I problem-solve, plan, pray – and sometimes they are completely random and pointless.

But I guess the important thing is that I am running. And I’ll take that, even if my thoughts cover more ground than my run does.

Does your mind work like this or is it just me?

Shifting Focus

For the last three weeks I have been sick and struggling to just make it through each day. To top it off, then my daughter got sick enough early this week that we spent some time in the ER getting fluids and anti-nausea meds. Needless to say, my focus has been on how I feel and getting her better. Which means my focus has NOT been on training for the race that I am running on Saturday. Not to mention the injury that I have been nursing for the last two months that have kept me from running more than 4 miles consecutively.

After running the Goofy in January, I had a plan that I would set a new personal record at the 500 Festival Half Marathon in Indianapolis this coming weekend.

Guess what? That’s not gonna happen.

Between injury, illness, and a change in my running shoes, I won’t be running 13.1 miles. I hope to walk/run those 13.1 miles, but depending on how I feel that morning, I may have to change my plans and do the 5K instead. A mere 3.1 miles.

Is that disappointing? Absolutely! Is it frustrating? Most definitely!

But sometimes our focus has to shift.

Instead of focusing on the original goal of a PR, my focus now has to be on my health and staying injury free so I can look towards the next race. I don’t race to win (obviously – I am SLOW), I race to stay motivated in my day-to-day exercise routine. I want to continue running without having to stop and wait for another injury to heal, so I don’t want to push it so hard that I get sidetracked again. In addition, part of the fun of this particular race weekend is spending it with my best friend from high school and her family. I don’t want to push myself so hard after being sick for three weeks and end up in bed at the hotel not spending any quality time with my friends.

So I am shifting my focus and expectations for the weekend. And that’s okay.

It is good to set goals and to stay motivated to achieve them, but when life gets in the way, it’s okay to adjust those goals to be more realistic, too.

Do you need to shift your focus on any of your goals today?

Off-Kilter

Today I’m a bit off. To be honest, I have been a bit off for about a week-and-a-half. Five days in Colorado, followed by five days of just not feeling great are taking their toll.

According to Webster’s Dictionary, the definition of off-kilter is not in perfect balance, a bit askew. That would be a good description of me right now.

Last Wednesday I ran four miles without any pain in my leg. It was awesome. It made me remember why I love running. It totally renewed my love affair with my running shoes, spring weather, and endorphins.

Then I hopped a plan for Estes Park, Colorado, where I spent an amazing five days with some great women and heard from God. Despite the fact that I never ran (I was a bit afraid of the altitude, not to mention there wasn’t really time) we were hoofing it all over the place so I was plenty active, and they served some vegan options on the buffet each night. It was mostly steamed vegetables, and salad, but that’s alright.

Once I got home, something hit me, although I am still not sure what it is. An achy body, a stomach “off,” headaches, and overwhelming fatigue have not been my friends this week. I haven’t been up to exercise at all. One night I slept for 12 hours straight. I haven’t been hungry much, and when I have been I have wanted stuff like pizza, macaroni and cheese, and anything filled with “Twinkie” filling (except Twinkies). I finally just gave in to the pizza craving last night. All veggies, but still, I felt pretty gross after eating it. Gross enough that I am not craving that again.

That’s the thing about eating well, you feel so much better than when you eat badly. Then, on those occasions you splurge and have some kind of comfort food, it makes you so uncomfortable you don’t want to feel like that again.

And I don’t want to feel like that again.

So, the challenge for me is not to give in to convenience (it’s pretty convenient to order a pizza on my iPad while laying on my couch and then wait patiently for it to be delivered), even when I am off-kilter and not feeling well, and that is so hard.

What convenient comfort food is your “go-to” when things are off-kilter in your life?

Monday’s Post – A Day Late

I got back from a few days in Estes Park, Colorado late on Sunday evening. I spent much of the day Monday in bed not feeling well, but planned to blog later in the afternoon.

Then I got a text from one of my running partners asking if I was seeing what happened in Boston, and from that moment on I couldn’t take my eyes off the television and the horrific pictures of explosions near the finish line of the Boston Marathon. I had been watching the race live online just an hour before, but had laid down to rest and turned it off.

Like everyone else I was shocked, horrified, scared, sad, and questioning who does this and why. I was thinking about all the times that my family has been waiting for me at the finish line of a race. I was thinking about my kids and whether or not they would now worry every time I run a race. I was thinking about the families that started out celebrating the accomplishment of their runner only to end the day grieving loss – of life, of limb, of health, of a feeling of safety.

Just like I remember sitting in my office trying to access CNN.com to find out what was happening on September 11, 2001, and wanting nothing more than to run to my infant daughter and squeeze her tight, I will always remember sitting on my bed in stunned silence watching video of the explosions on Boylston in complete and total shock.

Running for me is freedom. It is therapeutic. It is those moments when the stuff of life falls away with every step. It is empowering. It is learning to push through the tough stuff. It is breaking down barriers. It is life.

Whoever did this vicious act tried to steal this from us.

But they won’t.

We will still run. We will still race. We may do things differently on race day, but we won’t stop.

And we won’t live in fear.

Just like I told my kids after the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary, we live our lives in a way that we have no regrets. We live for Christ and we don’t live in fear.

So as I pray for those dealing with the aftermath of yesterday’s events, I pray for healing, and for each and every one of them to run whatever race is set before them today so that they can say: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:7).

 

5 Down, 25 to Go

Last week I told you I was planning to go sugar-free, carb-free for the month of April, as well as exercise five days a week. Today is day five and it is going pretty well. I have to adjust some of the recommendations from the 21-Day Sugar Detox guide that I am loosely following because I do eat a vegan diet and have to depend on some whole grains for adequate nutrition, but I am using them sparingly. Days two and three were headache days for me, (sugar withdrawal most likely) but that passed pretty quickly. It is amazing how much better I feel already (and I know this to be true so why do I have to re-discover that sometimes) without sugar and carbs. I have more energy and even more motivation to get out of bed. And I am cooking again, which is always helpful, both to my waistline, and my mental/emotional state.

Workouts have been a bit tougher because I am still fighting an injury to my hamstring. I did run and lift one day, did physical therapy one day, and walked this morning. I struggled with pain the rest of the week, so tried not to overdo it. Hopefully I can get out and run again tomorrow.

The biggest challenge I have faced so far is breakfast. As in, what to eat for breakfast. I don’t eat meat, eggs, or dairy, and am refraining from carbs (which includes cereal, oatmeal, etc.), so what’s left? Not much. I have decided that almond butter on celery makes for a great breakfast that keeps me full until lunchtime. I do occasionally have a few almonds mid-morning as a snack, but it isn’t something I must have.

The other thing I have worked on this week is tracking my food at MyFitnessPal.com again. It really does help to see exactly what is going into my mouth every day. I am much more conscious of it when I am typing it in and looking at it on a screen on a regular basis. I even re-set my start point for weight loss so I can once again see when I am making progress. The scale has already been moving down this week, but I won’t officially log my weight again until Monday.

The next hurdle I face is a conference I will be attending in Estes Park, Colorado next week.  I will leave Wednesday and will not be back until Sunday night. And meals are provided. And I can’t seem to get an answer about whether or not there will be any options for special meals. So, I will be packing my veggies, almond butter, almonds, and anything else I can think of to help me get through the week and weekend.

That’s how my first week has gone. How about you?

Up for a Challenge?

I have six weeks until my next half marathon. And I haven’t been running because of a leg injury. But it is getting better and I went out and ran pretty much pain-free today for almost three miles. Which is a far cry from the normal 7-11 miles that I was running on a regular basis, but it is better than not running at all. Which is what the last 10 days entailed.

In the absence of running, I have been craving (and sad to say, giving into said cravings) sweets like crazy!

So, here is what I want to do, I want to start a challenge for you and for me. The challenge looks like this:

  • No sugar/sweets/carbs/etc., for 30 days – April 1-30. (That means no fruit, either, and only whole grains sparingly.)
  • Exercise of some kind (even if it isn’t running) 5 days a week.
  • Log all of this in My Fitness Pal for the month of April.

It’s a short-term plan, basically a kick-start for any of you that need help getting started. And a plan for me which is what I need at this point coming back from injury and fighting off a bout of bad of depression.

So, who’s in? You can find me on My Fitness Pal (the badge on the side of this post), and we can be accountable to one another there, or you can comment on this blog post and we can talk about times when we are struggling.

Let’s go!

Redirection

When you have a two-year-old, you learn quickly the value of redirection. When they are getting into something that they shouldn’t, you have to tell them no, but also offer them something different to do to get their attention on something else.

We adults are no different. Especially when it comes to breaking bad habits.

I find that if I have something specific in mind that I am hungry for and it is in my house, I can think of nothing else until I satisfy that desire. Even if it is a few of the new white chocolate M&Ms, which leads to a few more, and a few more until the bag is gone. Which is NOT a good idea.

So, basically, I have to redirect my (obsessive) thoughts to something else. If I truly am hungry and not just “snacky” I can offer myself a healthier alternative. If I am just wanting to eat for the sake of eating, I have to do something else. That may take the form of reading (if I am holding a book, I can’t hold food), knitting or crocheting (if I am working with my hands I can’t hold food), playing a game with my kids, taking a walk or run, tackling something on my to-do list, or a number of other things.

That doesn’t mean it is always easy to redirect my thinking. If you have ever had a two-year-old, you know this is true. First of all I have to actually choose to redirect my thinking and not open the candy cabinet and reach for the M&M’s. And even when I do choose to not eat them (or something equally less than healthy), sometimes it takes multiple attempts to get my mind going a different direction. And to be perfectly honest, it is hard to keep making that choice and keep redirecting my thoughts.

But in the end, I feel much better not eating the bag of M&M’s and I have also accomplished something else as well. Proving to myself that I am the one that can and will continue making the decision to be healthy, even when it is hard.

How hard is it for you to redirect your thinking when it comes to less than healthy habits?

Soup’s On

Spring is coming. It seems rather slow in coming some days, but I know that it is getting close. And I am ever so thankful. With spring comes warm runs, walks and bike rides with the kids, a craving for more fresh veggies, salads, stir fry, and grilled foods.

But for now, it is still cold and one (maybe the only?) part of cold that I do enjoy is soup. And I am apparently trying to get my fill because that is the only thing that sounds good and thus the only thing I am cooking these days.

I thought I would share a couple of my favorites that I have found over the last few weeks.

Tuesday of this week I was in the mood for black beans, but not necessarily wanting to pair them with rice or a Mexican-flavored dish. I knew I had some barley, so when I saw this recipe for Fall Vegetable Stew with Black Beans and Barley, I knew I had to try it. I had a couple of butternut squash hanging out from one of my previous co-op baskets, and everything else was in my fridge or my pantry. I did use dried herbs instead of fresh (use about 1/3 of the amount requested if you are using dried). I was sure my kids would hate it because of the squash, but to my surprise and delight, Anne loved it and Ty liked it well enough to eat it without much complaint (which is a miracle in and of itself). Mike wasn’t home, so I didn’t get his feedback, but a good friend of mine came and grabbed a bowl as she headed back to work and raved about it as well. It tastes pretty good leftover, too. I think next time  I will mash all the squash, then there will be no complaints from the kids because they won’t know the squash is even there. 🙂

Last weekend, I was just in the mood to cook and was scrolling through my Healthy Food Pinterest board to see what appealed to me and corresponded with what I had hanging out in my fridge. This Carrot, Potato, & Leek Soup just looked fabulous and I had some huge carrots and two leeks that needed to be used and because I am married to meat and potatoes man, we always have potatoes hanging around. It was super easy to make, just chop the veggies, season with EVOO and spices, and roast in the oven. When the veggies are done, puree them with some vegetable broth and add any more seasoning to taste. It was delicious. I even served it to my small group the next evening and the ones that tried it, liked it. It would be really good with some homemade croutons, so I might try that next time.

The other soup I made recently was White Bean and Basil. I found it in the cookbook: Quick-Fix Vegan: Healthy, Homestyle Meals in 30 Minutes or Less. It was really easy, quick, and had a wonderful flavor that came from onions, carrots, garlic, sun-dried tomatoes, and both dried and fresh basil. My kids aren’t a huge fan of basil (which is totally wrong in my book), so they complained a little, but I think if I had added the cooked elbow macaroni that was offered as a variation, they probably wouldn’t have complained at all. Because that’s the way kids are.

So if you are like me and are soaking up the last bit of soup season, here are a few ideas for you to try. It is amazing to me how many different flavors and combinations that I keep finding and liking that I never would have encountered if I hadn’t made the decision to adopt a vegan diet. And boy am I enjoying it!

Vicious Cycle

It’s been a rough month. Various illnesses. Injured leg. Depression. Lack of motivation. Lack of energy. Less than stellar eating habits.

I know that illness can trigger a bout with depression.

I know that not exercising can make the depression worse.

I know that depression leads to lack of motivation and energy.

I know that lack of motivation and energy means shortcuts – particularly when it comes to eating.

I also know that when I am eating well and exercising  I feel better and have more motivation and energy, which fights off the depression.

But in the midst of the depression, it is really hard to push through, get out of bed, exercise, cook healthy meals, and keep busy when I would much rather sleep later, eat crap, lay on my couch and watch TV.

In other words, it’s a vicious cycle that is really hard to break.

But today is the first day of my favorite month. Why is it my favorite month? Because three of my favorite things happen this month: St. Patrick’s Day, the first day of Spring, and my birthday. And I don’t want this month to be another rough one. So today, I start again. I got out of bed and ran. I am cutting out all sugar and bread. I am back to planning meals and logging what goes into my mouth. I am going to schedule my time at home somewhat to stay busy so I don’t default to the couch.

I am going to break this cycle. But I can’t do it alone. I need the Lord’s help and strength. I need prayer. I need friends who will keep me accountable.

And I need to write and post this blog post. Because telling myself all these things won’t help. But maybe telling you all will.

What kinds of struggles are you facing today? I’d love to hear from you!