Tag: open

Playing Detective

This year for Christmas, two of my friends and I went in on a group gift – one year of Hunt a Killer fun. Each month, we receive a box with clues to help us figure out who committed murder. The boxes are serial in nature, so for six months the storyline is continued from month-to-month, and then the second six months we will have a new storyline. We have done the first two boxes and we LOVE it. It is so much fun, especially for those of us who like procedural TV dramas like Criminal Minds, Elementary, Bones, Law and Order SVU, and more.

In each of the first two boxes, our task was to eliminate a suspect based on timelines and corroborating evidence. Using our very own murder board (a $2 bulletin board we got at the thrift store), we were able to correctly identify the two suspects, out of the nine possible, who are NOT responsible for murder.

Playing detective is fun, especially when you get to spend time with friends who are also focused on solving the same mystery you are.

Lately, I feel as if I am also playing detective in other areas of my life. Not to identify a murderer, but rather to identify the next steps in my journey. This kind of detective work isn’t nearly as fun.

Last week, I was certified ready to receive a call, which, in the Presbyterian Church USA means that I can begin looking for a place where I will be ordained and installed as a Minister of Word and Sacrament (fancy title for pastor).

A preliminary search on the denominational website lists well over 200 churches across the country which meet the criteria of my search. My initial reaction was (and kind of still is) one of being completely overwhelmed. How in the world am I supposed to read about these churches and know whether or not they would be a good fit for me and I for them? How do I even begin to find the “clues” that point me in the right direction? What criteria will I use to help me make the decision? How does this affect my family and what do I do when it comes to making sure they are part of the decision-making process?

Yesterday, as I read a chapter in Enter by the Gate, by Flora Slosson Wuellner, the very first sentence hit me right in the heart: “When the true Shepherd guides us, a gate will open before us, leading to a wider place.”

In this chapter, Wuellner talks about praying about a problem, placing it in God’s hands, and then alertly waiting to see what happens. She acknowledges that there are most definitely other guidelines to consider as we are making choices, but that paying special attention to little or big changes that occur after praying about a situation is often how we hear from God.

She tells a story later in the chapter that grabbed my attention as well:

“I stepped into a gambling casino once to make a phone call. the flashing strobe lights and the harsh music didn’t horrify me nearly as much as the fixed, intense gaze on the faces of the people working the machines. Like sleepwalkers, most of the them were closed off, deaf to any other interest, any other person. The casino had no windows. Customers could not see the sky, the trees, the clouds, or any natural light. They were narrowed down to one thing, the money machine in front of them. I still carry this inner picture, symbolic of all our addictive prisons of the spirit, which are any fixations that close us off to God’s world around us.”

Flora Slosson Wuellner, Enter by the Gate

Sometimes in crime dramas you see a particular police officer that is sure that a certain person is guilty, so sure that they cannot see that the evidence points elsewhere. Their focus is way too narrow and actually impedes the process of the investigation.

The thing is, having a world of opportunities ahead of me isn’t a bad thing because it opens my eyes to a bigger picture of the many ways that God could lead and helps me to see beyond the safe, easy options that could close me off to something amazing. I don’t want to impede the work of the Holy Spirit by having too narrow of a focus.

For that reason, I will continue to pray for God’s leading and guiding. After all, Jesus told us, “Ask and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.” (Matthew 7:7)

“Loving guide, my true Shepherd, I give [this process] to your hand and heart. Show me the open gate. I know you hear me and that a way is opening for me. I give you thanks.”

Flora Slosson Wuellner, Enter by the Gate

Amen.

Are there choices or decisions that are looming for you? Do you feel like you don’t have the tools and information to make the “right” choice? Or are you so focused on what you want that you aren’t seeing other things that God has placed in your path? How about taking it to God in prayer today.

Feel free to comment or send me a message if you want to chat!

Always Open

OPEN

In 2003, a few weeks before Ty was born, I was suffering from that all-too-familiar thing called “mommy guilt.” Here I had spent the previous two, almost three, years focusing all of my attention on sweet little Anne. She could climb up on my lap at any time. She got all of our snuggles and focus. And now, that was all going to change because of this new baby that was coming in to our home.

Did Anne have any concept of this? Absolutely not! But I did. I was afraid that she would feel neglected. After all, I knew what kind of attention a new baby took. I knew what it was like to nurse a new baby. I knew that my lap would be occupied much of the time with this new life coming into our home.

I remember sitting on the couch one evening, my pregnant belly taking away much of the room on my lap that Anne had enjoyed for the first part of her life, but she was doing her best to sit on that ever-dwindling lap. While she sat there, I remember telling her that there would always be room for her on my lap. Even if I was nursing the baby. Even if he got bigger and seemed to take up too much space. She could always climb up.

My kids are 11 and almost 14 now. It isn’t very often that they climb up on my lap anymore. But as they have grown, they have learned something even more important – mom’s lap isn’t the only thing that is always open. Have a bad dream or are feeling sick? Climb on in to mom’s bed. Have a bad day? Curl up in mom’s arms. Need to talk about something that is bothering you? Mom’s ears are ready to listen. And all of this is true, because mom’s heart is always open. It doesn’t matter if it is 2:00 a.m. or 2:00 p.m., mom is there, ready and available.

And here’s the thing, because they know that my heart is always open to them, they are learning to keep their heart open to me. When there are things we need to talk about – whether it be what is happening in the world, correction that I need to give them, or something else, they are ready and willing to hear from me. When there is something going on in my life that is making it hard for me to get through, guess who is there and ready to love on me? Yep, those same kids!

A huge part of parenting is being available to our children. When we get too busy, we are in essence, closing ourselves off from these children that need us more than anything. I heard one time that once children reach the age of 10, their parents are no longer the primary influence in their lives. Instead, the primary influence becomes their peers. This is a scary statistic to me, knowing what I know about our society. I do my best to fight this. This is why I make myself readily available to my children. This is why I spend time with them. This is why I make sure that they know I am always open to whatever they need from me.

Be sure you are hanging out the “OPEN” sign to your children. Be available to them. Be ready to listen. Be there for them. They need you.