Month: August 2011

Just Keep Swimming…

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. –James 1:2-4

14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky… –Philippians 2:14-15

I have learned many things over the years, as we all have. One of the things I learned last fall and have been reminded of this fall is this: it doesn’t matter how nice the weather has been all week, or even how nice the weather is at your house on Saturday, when you step onto the football field, it will be miserably hot. This past Saturday was no exception to that rule. It was hot and sunny with nary a cloud in the sky.

I knew Saturday would be a test as to whether what I have been talking about with the cheerleaders – doing what is best for the team, persevering even when it is hard, not thinking about yourself – has been sinking in at all.

I am happy to report, IT HAS!! I have to brag on the girls, they did an amazing job. There was very little complaining. One girl tried to stick it out (probably a little too long) despite the fact that she felt sick. They cheered, they smiled, they sweated, they looked like they were wilting in the heat at times, but they finished the day.

It definitely kept me going, as I was fighting a stomach bug and had to be out in the heat and sun for over seven hours.

But, as  I have been thinking about this, I have been thinking about the various areas of my life and wondering if I am persevering as well in those places. Places like finances, parenting, devotions, marriage, work, etc. Do I keep going even when it is hard, or do I give in to the temptation to quit, or even just let myself  coast and not put in the effort to rise to the level I know I can. In other words, am I practicing what I am preaching?

That is a hard question to answer. I would have to say “sometimes, but not always.” There are days that I push through no matter what and there are days that I just give up. But I don’t want to give up, because I don’t want to miss out on being “mature and complete, not lacking anything.” And that is something I need to remember on this Monday morning when I am tired, worn down, sore, and not feeling well. I have to keep going and persevere no matter what.

Or like Dorie sings in Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”

What areas of your life do you find it hard to persevere?

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I shocked myself a bit yesterday. Since the end of the Biggest Loser competition, I haven’t been bad, but I haven’t been as strict about what I have been eating and I have been feeling guilty about it, but not guilty enough to try harder. Then, yesterday morning as I was standing in front of my mirror getting ready for work, I remembered a picture I had taken of myself a few years back when I first started exercising again. It is a picture that immediately after printing it out, I deleted it off of the camera and the computer so the only copy in existence is in my bathroom upstairs. I did have it hanging up in my make-up cabinet, but the tape tore so lately it has been sitting on the top of the cabinet and I haven’t looked at it for months. This picture of overweight me in my undergarments was used to inspire me to stay active and watch what I ate. It worked for a while, but then it fell down and I shoved it on top of the cabinet. Well, yesterday I pulled it down and compared it to the image of myself I saw staring back in the mirror. And boy was I shocked. I had no idea what a difference 45 pounds can make. I had no idea just how round my face had been, not to mention other areas. Yes, I have been realizing that my clothes are way too big and I am down two clothing sizes, but to actually see the difference was shocking, amazing, and inspiring.

I am over half way to my goal and that look in the mirror yesterday was part of what I needed to get back on track. The other part was walking with a couple of my BL(a)’s this morning and hearing them talk about the fact that they have been struggling since the end of the competition, too. We all are realizing this week that we let our guards down and fell off the wagon a bit, but we all also realize that we have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and climb back on because we don’t want to go back to where we were. We want to keep moving forward.

Add this to the fact that everyday this week I have had at least one person, and usually more than one, tell me how good I am looking, how I am glowing (not in a pregnancy kind of way-thank God!), how I am drop-dead gorgeous (yes, someone used those words), and so on, and it encourages me to keep going, stay strong, eat well, and get out of bed to exercise even when I am exhausted.

So what happens today when I am determined to stay strong? A tin of Danish butter cookies was delivered with our Quill order to the church. I love Danish butter cookies. And I want to eat the whole tin. But I asked God for strength to avoid them. And every time I was tempted to get up and get one, someone was in the hallway or the workroom, which completely deterred me from picking up a cookie. God definitely answered my prayer by using the fact that I have told people I am not eating sweets and carbs and thus I didn’t want anyone to see me eating a cookie. 🙂 Maybe that reveals something else about me that needs work, but I didn’t eat the cookies!

I added some pictures of me to this post. The first one was taken about the time I was at my heaviest, the second one in early June, right after starting the Biggest Loser competition, the third one part way through the summer, and the last one two weeks ago at our victory celebration. (No, I am not including the picture of me in my skivvies – no one gets to see that one.) It’s pretty neat to see the changes just in my face over the last few months. Here’s to more changes to come!

What changes do you want to see in your life right now? How can you document those changes as they happen to keep you going?

It’s Muddy

Some days my head is muddy. Today is one of those days. It’s not muddy because I’m tired or overwhelmed. It’s muddy because I have so many thoughts running around that are stirring stuff up and making the waters of my brain a little muddy. And as you know, when water is muddy, you can’t see through it. What I desperately need right now is clarity and I don’t have it.

What has me so muddy? Apparently there is more to learn about the selfishness vs. selflessness that I wrote about last week. And about choices we make – both knowingly and unknowingly. And how we handle (or avoid) conflict as adults. And how we speak truthfully and lovingly without hurting someone’s feelings. And how we determine when we have done all we can and the problem lies with someone else and not us. And what we do if the problem is us. And so much more that I cannot even begin to put into words.

I’m thinking about the Christ that leaves the 99 sheep to find the one that is lost.

I’m thinking about the Christ who tells us to settle disputes quickly and be reconciled.

I’m thinking about the Christ who humbled Himself, even to the point of dying on a cross, for people who didn’t (and don’t) deserve it.

I’m thinking about the Christ who calls us to speak the truth in love, not sugar coat it or avoid it.

I’m thinking about the Christ who pointed out incorrect thinking to the Pharisees.

I’m thinking about the Christ who spent His time with the “least of these.”

I’m thinking about the Christ who is love.

I don’t have much of a take-away for you, my readers, today except this: we have to struggle with our questions and ask them of the Christ who is always listening and then we have to sit and listen for the answer, which doesn’t necessarily come in the way or time that we expect. So today, I will stay muddy for a while longer and wait for Christ to calm the waters and bring clarity.

Where are you needing clarity in your life today?

Hooray?

This day elicits many different responses from many different people:

  • Shouts of joy
  • Sighs of relief
  • Bouts of tears
  • All of the above and everything in between.

No, the Cards and Cubs are not playing ball today – it is the first day of school.

I have friends who have been counting down the days since the first day of summer vacation, and others who have been dreading this day. From first-time kindergarteners to last-time seniors in high school (and beyond), parents all over the country are finding themselves in the midst of some back-to-school related emotion.

This day is always a confusing one for me. I love my kids. I love having them around. I love the freedom that summer affords. I love being able to have lunch with them in the middle of my work day. I will miss all those things. But I also love routine. And I love peace and quiet for an hour at lunch. And I love earlier bed times and quiet time either alone or with my husband more regularly. And let’s face it, the house stays much cleaner when they are at school all day as opposed to at home all day.

What is really hard for me about this day is the reminder that time is passing. Quickly. It seems like it was just yesterday that Anne was a baby and now here she is going into fifth grade. And I have been convinced all along that my baby will never grow up and yet today Ty began school as a second grader.

My mom always told me that the older you get the faster time goes. I didn’t believe her then, but I do now. These precious moments with my kids at home are short and few and I have to take advantage of the time we have together to teach them and love on them and have fun with them. Which is precisely why I took the day off yesterday just to spend with them doing and seeing what they wanted to at the zoo. It was a magical day (not in the there was no fighting or whining kind of way – that would be a fantasy), but just in the way we were together and enjoyed the company of one another. And while I wish all days could be like that, it is important that they spend time away from me at school so that at some point they are able to move on and become adults.

Thus the confusion of the day which comes with the paradoxes inherent in raising children. So I just embrace the moment (and my kids) and enjoy the ride. Because even though it can be a bit bumpy, it’s worth it.

Where are you at on the range of emotions if you sent kids to school today?

It’s Not About Me? Really?

If you have ever read The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, you know that the very first sentence in chapter one is “It’s not about you.” For most people these days, that is a turn-your-world-upside-down kind of phrase. We live in a culture where everything is about the individual and what is best for “me.” It affects family life, group dynamics, and how we view every situation we find ourselves in. It is the downfall of many marriages. It is the demise of friendships. What it all comes down to can be summed up in one word.

Selfishness.

It’s interesting when you know something like this, try hard to live in an unselfish way, and then get bombarded with the idea all over again.

Many of you know that this year I am coaching the Jr. Comets Cheerleaders. This group of a few fourth grade girls, but mostly fifth, sixth and seventh grade girls has been great fun for me so far this season. We are learning cheers, learning about one another, and learning what it means to be part of a group. Each Thursday before our Saturday games, I am planning to have a short pow-wow with the girls to talk about the game and important information for them to know, as well as some kind of teaching about what it means to be a team. Last week, I was planning to talk about one thing, but when the time came, what came out of my mouth was all about this very subject, a hard one for pre-teen girls to understand, but a necessary one to learn. And then Sunday morning, Pastor Greg shared some thoughts learned from the FMY bike trip and guess what? More of the same. (You can listen to his sermon here.)

Now, I know it has been on my mind because of the girls and wanting them to understand how important it is to put others first, particularly when you are part of a team, but when I start hearing the same thing from multiple sources at different times, I also have to take notice and start to wonder if I need to hear it, as well.

So I have been examining my motives. Thinking about why I do the things I do. And so far, while I haven’t found anything glaring, I have noticed some selfish tendencies that I have. So I am going to keep watch. And I’m going to try to shift my way of thinking. And I am going to continue to try to teach my kids, and my cheerleaders, to be selfless rather than selfish. And hopefully I will learn more along the way, too.

Are you feeling selfish or selfless today?

And the Losers are…

…BACON LOVERS (anonymous)!!!

And we won all on our own merit – exercise and weight loss.

We brought in about 5 lbs less food than the group who brought in the most. Thanks to all who donated! Our team alone took over 447 lbs of food to the food pantry. And when you add that to what all the other teams took – there was food everywhere!

Our Pay it Forward didn’t win, and that was fine with us. The Yellow Team has a GREAT Pay it Forward plan for their charity and totally deserved to win.

We knew we had a good chance to win when we walked into the meeting last night, but we were all very nervous. There were a couple of other teams that had their eyes on the prize as well. But when they read our name as the winners, there was screaming, there were tears, and there was excitement. We won $1500 for our charity, Bond Christian Service Camp. What a gift we have given to them! And what a gift we have given to ourselves – bodies that are improving daily. We also have over $500 in pledges for the 1/2 marathon as well, and anticipate more coming in over the next two months. (If you would like to pledge, you can get a form here.

Our Most Valuable Bacon Lover (MVBL) came in second for the overall Biggest Loser of the competition. We all wanted her to win, but to say she lost over 19% of her body weight in the last three months is nothing to be ashamed of! You can read more about Angie’s journey here.

To celebrate, we took the $50 that we won at the egg hunt a few weeks back and went to Bobby’s. If you aren’t from around here, Bobby’s is a frozen custard place in Maryville, IL. It is AMAZING. We spent $41 of the $50 on ice cream. We put bacon on it, we ate it, we took pictures of it, we loved every second of it. And we were all on an extreme sugar high and calling attention to ourselves as we laughed and acted quite obnoxious for a bunch of 35+ year-old women. It was wonderful. And then we spent the last of our money on french fries from Burger King. And then we all felt sick all the way home. The problem with eating healthy is that your body gets used to it and when you try to put junk in it again, it rebels. I had to chew a gas pill and a Tums last night – something I haven’t had to do in months!

But we had fun. And this morning, we are all back on the bandwagon, because we are not done yet.

We are all setting our next goal today – where we want to be by the 1/2 marathon on October 23 and will be sharing our goals with one another. We will also continue to have weigh-ins and measurement updates every other week. We aren’t stopping until we all hit our goals. And when we hit our 1/2 marathon goals as well as finish the race, we’re all going to get pedicures. And as we all hit our weight loss goals, we’re going shopping together to buy new clothes, because we are giving away anything that doesn’t fit – we will NOT keep it in our closet “just in case.”

I think we all have learned something over the last three months – if you get the right group together to encourage and challenge one another, there’s no stopping what you can do together!

Who do you have to encourage you to meet your goals?

UPDATE: I got this message this week: “because of us, Bond Camp is 1.2 Acres bigger than it used to be. He was able to get 2 parcels at $752 each at a tax auction. Paid them right off because he got the check from church already.” Hopefully we can add to this with our pledges for the 1/2 marathon!

“Me” Time

A few months back I heard this song (the lyrics are below) when I got the new Kenny Chesney album. At first I really liked it, and then I started questioning of the theology of it (while still really liking it, but not sure if I should). I mean, I am not meant to live for myself, but for Christ. I am not meant to schedule my time solely for me, but for others, too. I am not supposed to bow to the ways of the culture and live in a “me” saturated world. That’s not Biblical. And it’s not nice.

And yet, there is something that calls to me about this song and the idea of having time for me. Time to do what I want. Time to not have to listen to the “noise” of my everyday life. Time when the only person I am responsible for is me.

This weekend, I took my kids school shopping on Friday night. We had a (mostly) fun evening together and got some work accomplished. But on Saturday, I wanted to be alone. Not in the “alone in the woods with my thoughts” kind of way, but the “alone in a crowded room” kind of way. So, with my husband’s blessing, I went to the mall. By myself. I tried on clothes. I looked at books. I walked through stores my kids wouldn’t like. I got a pedicure. I listened to the music I wanted to listen to all the way there and back. I didn’t have to worry about making sure the kids got lunch when I myself wasn’t hungry. I loved it. And when I got back, we took the kids to Mike’s dad’s and he and I went fishing for most of the night. It was lovely. We talked about lots of stuff and yet nothing in particular. We didn’t talk at all for long periods and just enjoyed the peace of the night. We slept in until 10:30 a.m. And then we went and picked the kids up and spent the afternoon with them. And I wasn’t stressed. And I wasn’t anxious. And I didn’t get frustrated. And I enjoyed it. In addition, I have a very full week this week and am feeling positive and confident that I can face it and finish it well.

Which brings me back to my quandary of finding the balance between living for Christ and others, while still allowing some time for myself so that I can be better at living for Christ and others, without falling into the trap of getting too focused on me and my needs.

I think the key word in the previous sentence is “balance.” We all know that concept, but figuring out exactly what balance is and putting it into practice is a whole other issue. I don’t think there is any doubt that we have to take time for ourselves sometimes. And I know there is no question that we are to live for Christ and others. Which means that we absolutely have to figure out what balance looks like for us. It may be a little different for each one of us, so we can’t rely on someone else’s way of structuring their lives. We have to find our own balance.

So that’s what I am going to work on this fall. As everything starts back up and my days fill up with many things to do, I need to figure out how much “me” time is necessary in order to make the “God and others” time more effective.

Have you found your balance? If you have, how does it work for you? If you haven’t, what would you need to do to find it?

Take a listen to the song here and read the lyrics below.

Kenny Chesney-Live A Little Lyrics

Stressed out, running late, racing down the interstate
Spilled hot coffee, down the front of my jeans
It’s work, work, pay the rent, money and my time’s spent
Not a minute left for me to be me

Been going like nothing can wait
I gotta get my priorities straight

I need to live a little, have some fun
Take some time, waste it on number one
Find a girl that brings my whole world to a stop
Live a little, love a lot

Friday night, here we go, do a little do-si-do
Kick back, have a laugh, catch my breath
Tell the band slow it down, there she is, think I found
Maybe Ms. Wonderful, I haven’t met yet

It just hit me like a wrecking ball
She’s giving me a wake up call

I need to live a little, have some fun
Take some time, waste it on number one
Find a girl that brings my whole world to a stop
Live a little, love a lot

Step back, smell the rose
Feel the sand between your toes
Unplug, unwind
Step out in the sunshine

I need to live a little, have some fun
Take some time, waste it on number one
Find a girl that brings my whole world to a stop
Live a little

I need to live a little, have some fun
Take some time, waste it on number one
Take the girl, get a map and pick any old dot
Live a little, we need to live a little, love a lot

Finishing Strong or To Be Continued…

Well, it’s almost here. The day we’ve been waiting for all summer. No, I’m not talking about the first day of school (but that will be nice, too), I’m talking about the end of the Biggest Loser competition.

For the last 11 weeks we have been counting calories, watching carbs, exercising like crazy, watching our waistlines get smaller and the number on our scales go down. There have been moments of victory and moments of discouragement. There have been days when exercise ruled the day, and days when ice cream won. Some days I was offering words of encouragement, and some days I needed them offered to me. I have lost 27 pounds during the competition – 41 overall. My Bacon Lovers (anonymous) teammates have all done well, too. We have been very consistent throughout the competition, and have taken third (twice), first (twice), and fourth (once), at the bi-weekly meetings. That means twice we have gotten a little extra money to give to our charity, Bond Christian Service Camp.

But that’s not enough for us. We want to give more. Since we are going to continue to train for and walk the St. Louis Rock-n-Roll 1/2 Marathon in October, we decided we would ask our friends and family to sponsor us in the race. The money we raise will all be given to Bond Christian Service Camp. Our hope is they can buy at least one (hopefully more) parcel of land to add to their property – this place where kids go to have fun and learn about God’s love for them.

But that’s still not enough for us. We also want to lose more. I don’t think any one of us is at our goal weight, so we are going to continue on. Maybe not as drastically, but maybe so. We most definitely are going to continue our training regimen for the race, and I think we have all learned valuable lessons about how much better off we are now that we have changed some of our eating habits.

But that’s still not enough for us. We want to win this competition. We want to win the money for our charity. It’s a big hunk of cash and we want the camp to have it. We also want to win because none of us thought it was possible at the outset of the competition. This small team of seven women, none of which with huge amounts of weight to lose, all of which with busy lives and schedules, and yet here we are, with a very real possibility of taking the top prize. (Add to that the fact that we are all Type A and highly competitive, and you might be able to imagine just how badly we want to win this thing.)

We have one more week to finish strong. We have one more week to collect lots and lots of heavy canned goods. (The team that collects the most will have 15 pounds taken off their total weight loss and then the food will be given to the local food pantry – two good reasons to bring me some cans!) We have one more week of bantering back and forth with the other teams. We have one more week of competition.

But we have a whole lifetime to reap the benefits of the competition. Lessons learned. Life-changing decisions made. New goals brought to mind. The end of the competition brings with it a choice – go back to the old way of doing things or continue on in a new, healthier lifestyle. I choose to continue on.

I’ll update you next week about the results of the competition, but the overall story is to be continued. In the meantime, pray for us and if you can help our team by pledging or by providing canned goods, let me know. A pledge form is below.

What “finishing” could be a “to be continued” for you these days?

Is Liking Shoes Hereditary?

My mom told me last night that I am my grandmother. My grandmother liked to always have her nails done. Me too. My grandmother loved shoes and when she died we found hundreds of pairs of shoes, all in boxes, in numerous closets throughout her house. I cried because they weren’t my (or anyone else in the family’s) size. My grandmother always had her hair done just so. I am pretty particular about my hair, as well. There are other things, purses, jewelry, etc., that we discussed last night over cards and that made me ask the question, what part of the genetic code skipped my mom and went right to me? It’s not like my grandmother shaped and molded me to be like that. She died when I was in eighth grade, and while we spent time with her, it was never doing those types of things. Yet, somehow, these parts of who my grandmother was have been passed on to me.

Once you start asking that question and looking at different traits you have and where you might have picked those up, it really gets interesting.

I definitely got my work ethic from my dad – work hard, finish the job, and finish it well.

My Grandma Luttrell definitely passed on to me some cooking and baking skills, along with a healthy dose of dice-playing skills.

If you know my mom, you might not agree that I got my competitive spirit from her, but you obviously haven’t played pinochle with her then. I watch her play and what is going through her mind is the same as what is going through mine – “I don’t want to lose to these guys!” I also got her tendency to exaggerate a little (“You spilled that ALL OVER the floor!”), and her penchant for making all moments teachable moments.

The list could go on and on. Particularly when you start looking at your kids and what they have gotten from you.

Anne has easily picked up the flair for the dramatic from her mom. That and the tendency to want to make people happy.

Ty has my love of reading, good food, and staying busy.

But what all this really has me thinking about is what traits I have gotten from my Heavenly Father? What has He passed down to me through His DNA? What things have I picked up from Him just from spending time with Him and learning from Him? What of his characteristics would someone say I have gotten from Him?

Just for fun this morning I am including some pictures of Anne and I and Mike and Ty as babies so you can see how much our kids look like us. I hope it makes you smile as you think about these things today.

And what are some of the things that you have picked up from members of your family? I’d love to hear some of them.