Category: Music

At THIS Table

My news feed has been filled with posts about the recent comments by John MacArthur telling Beth Moore to “go home.” I have seen various open letters to John MacArthur, I have seen friends standing up and giving witness to the positive and Biblically fruit-bearing way that Beth Moore has impacted their lives (and I concur). After reading a few of these, I actually went and found the audio of the conversation in question. I was appalled.

Not only was I appalled at the nonchalance with which this man completely denounced women preaching, but with the response of the people in attendance – applause and cheering. I don’t know what the make-up of the audience was, but I can guess it was mostly, if not completely made up of men.

One of the things that John MacArthur said was:

“(when people) literally overturn the clear teaching of scripture to empower the people who want power you have given up biblical authority.”

John MacArthur

I literally had to listen to that more than once. Seriously? Isn’t the clear teaching of scripture just this? Giving power to the powerless? Justice to the oppressed? Freedom to the prisoner? Hope to the forgotten? Resources to the poor? Healing to the sick? Need I go on?

If this is truly how he feels, does that mean that we should go back to a country that condones and practices slavery? After all, the bible talks about how slaves should obey their masters. Should we all revert to being slaves in Egypt? Because didn’t God empower to the Israelites to escape Pharaoh?

Yes, I am a woman. Yes, I am a preacher. And yes, God has called me to do this work. I believe that rather than take one or two verses that Paul wrote to a specific audience for a specific purpose and broadly apply them to every situation forever and ever, it is much more important to look at how Jesus treated women, giving them a voice and a place in a culture where they had none, and to look at how Paul ministered with women and empowered them to be about the work of building the church. God created us all in God’s image. God has gifted us all in various and specific ways. And God calls us ALL to be about the work of spreading the good news of the gospel.

I am not angry. But I am sad, because I am for the inclusion of all at the table of the Lord, and I believe that when we put limits on what God is able to do, then we are hurting not only people created by God, but we are also doing serious damage to the Kingdom of God in the here and now.

Want to read more about the full inclusion of women in ministry? Here are some links to check out:

There are a ton more resources – maybe you even have one or two you want to share in the comments.

I want to leave you with a new song that I heard today that sums up all of this for me – to love with the love of Christ means that at the table of Christ, ALL are welcome, ALL are important, ALL are called.

“At This Table”
Indina Menzel

At this table everyone is welcome
At this table everyone is seen
At this table everybody matters
No one falls between

At this table you can say whatever
At this table you can speak your mind
At this table everything’s forgiven
There’s enough for everyone

So come as you are
Remember that the door is always open
Yes come as you are
The perfect gift that you could bring is your heart
So come, come as you are

At this table there will be no judgements
At this table mercy has a seat
At this table we’re all sons and daughters
There’s no place I’d rather be

So come as you are
Remember that the door is always open
Come as you are
The perfect gift that you could bring is your heart
Come, come as you are

Come as you are

At this table everyone is welcome
At this table everybody cares
At this table everybody matters
So come pull up a chair

(Full disclosure: This is the song I REALLY wanted to include, but take it as tongue-in-cheek.)

Dear Me

Isn’t it interesting how a song you have heard many times before can suddenly jump out and hit you like a cup of cold water to your face?

That was this song for me this morning as I was in my Contemplative Corner. I had just finished my bible reading and journaling, and moved on to listening to a little music before I jumped in the shower to prepare for the day.

And then I had to listen to this song a couple more times.

Because I think this song really addresses what happens, (or needs to happen) as we continue to draw near to God, and emulate Christ, and be led by the Holy Spirit.

We think that we can package Christianity up in a neat little box with lots of rules and regulations, when in reality, the more we read God’s Word, we find out that it’s not as easy as that.

When we are truly living out of the love that we have been given by God through Christ Jesus, it gets messy and doesn’t fit into our human constructs of religion. And that is a good thing, because it forces us to rely on God rather than ourselves, and to see people as God sees them rather than how our human eyes see them.

It all comes down to one word for me: LOVE. When we live with the love of God at the center of our lives, when we love like Jesus loves, this is when we are living out our faith in the most effective way. This is when we are acting in ways that bring glory not to ourselves, but to our God.

So, take a listen this morning. What else would you say to yourself today? How can you step out in love this week? Let me know your thoughts!

Sing Along

Yesterday, as I drove to church in Edwardsville, where I am serving as an intern this fall, this song came up on my “Worship Girls Playlist.” This is one of my playlists that I often put on shuffle to see what God might have to say to me through music that I love.

I was singing along. Loudly. Joyfully. Passionately.

And on the way home, I had to listen to it again.

It reminds me of this verse that I love for the picture of God that it offers:

The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)

With the turmoil, division, disasters, marginalization, and so many other hurts and dashed hopes that we are seeing in our world today, it is easy to think that God is far away and doesn’t care, or just won’t act. But that is so not true! God created this world and all that is in it, and called it GOOD! Yes, people have marred that good creation, but never has God stopped loving and caring for us. He loves us. He rejoices over us with singing. And we have the opportunity, and dare I say responsibility, to sing along and participate in God’s work in the world.

There is no song greater, no purpose higher, than God’s. I think I will sing along. Will you join me?

Sing Along
Songwriters: Christa Joy Black / Christy Nockels / Jason Ingram / Jesse Reeves / Nathan Nockels
Sing Along lyrics © Essential Music Publishing, Bethel Music Publishing, Capitol Christian Music Group

From babies hidden in the shadows
To the cities shining bright
There are captives weeping
Far from sight
For every doorway has a story
And some are holding back the cries
But there is one who hears us in the night

Great God
Wrap your arms around this world tonight
Around the world tonight
And when you hear our cries
Sing through the night
So we can join in your song
And sing along yeah, 
We’ll sing along

From the farthest corners of the earth
Still his mercy reaches
Even to the pain we cannot see
And even through the darkness
There’s a promise that will keep us
There is one who came to set us free

Great God
Wrap Your arms around this world tonight
Around the world tonight
And when you hear our cries
Sing through the night
So we can join in your song
And sing along, yeah 
We’ll sing along

So let your song rise
And fill up the earth
Let your hope ring out
Let your heart be heard
So let your song rise
And fill up the earth
Let your hope ring out
Let your heart be heard

Oh, great God
Wrap Your arms around this world tonight
Around the world tonight
And when you hear our cries
Sing through the night
And we will join in your song
And sing along, yeah 
We’ll sing along
We’ll sing along
We’ll sing along
We’ll sing along
We’ll sing along
We’ll sing along
We’ll sing along

Great God
Wrap your arms around this world tonight
Around the world tonight
And when you hear our cries
Sing through the night
And we will join in your song
And sing along
We’ll sing along

Great God
Wrap your arms around this world tonight
Around the world tonight
And when you hear our cries
Sing through the night
And we will join in your song
And sing along
We’ll sing along
Yeah
We’ll sing along
We’ll sing along
We’ll sing along
We’ll sing along

One in a Row

So, life has been a bit of a crap shoot lately when it comes to consistent exercise of any kind. Funny how three years of seminary can do that to a person. Exhaustion, health stuff, homework, and everything else have gotten in the way more often than I want to discuss.

BUT, since finishing seminary, I have been working harder at being consistent. Sometimes successfully, and sometimes not, but at least I am trying, right?!

PiYo will always be my soul-mate workout, but running will always be my first love. Ever since my meniscus surgery five years ago, I have been scared to do too much running for fear of another injury. Well, that and my favorite half marathon falls on the same weekend as prom here in Greenville, which my daughter has attended the last two years, so I haven’t had that race to work toward.

Image result for slower than a herd of turtles

In 2020, I don’t have a kid going to prom so I am thinking that it is time to do the Mini Indy again!

But that means I have to start running again. Regularly. And based on my life, that means I have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn, (or pre-butt crack as one of my friends calls it) which is 5:00 a.m., to run. And let’s just say, I have grown accustomed to sleeping until much later in the morning.

I used to get up even earlier than 5:00 am to go run. I even remember a 2:30 Sunday morning wake-up for a 3:00 am long run when we were training for the Goofy. (BTW – Sunday early morning runs are the BEST because there is NO ONE out and about so you don’t have to worry about getting hit by a car, AND you get to see beautiful sunrises.)

I made a plan. I like my plan. It takes my training right up to 1/2 marathon week. The problem is executing the plan and actually getting out of bed at 5:00 a.m. when the alarm goes off AND staying awake through the entire day that is filled with various activities that require my being awake.

After three failed attempts this week, yesterday, with the help of a 2nd alarm, I did it! I got up! I ran! I felt great! The weather was perfect! I remembered why I love running!

But, as my life goes, yesterday was a VERY long day (a good one that included baby snuggles), and today, no such rising with the alarm.

Trisha Yearwood has a song called “One in a Row.” It has nothing to do with running, but I keep singing part of the chorus in my head: “That makes one in a row, one in a row, one in a row. One in a row.” At this point in my life I am taking one in a row as a good thing, a start, and the hope of two in a row coming very soon.

No matter what it is that you are working toward – an exercise routine, a meal-prep plan, a degree, not strangling your children, getting out of bed in the morning, reading a book, or some other challenge, I offer you this word of hope today – every time you accomplish even the smallest of tasks, give yourself a pat on the back for getting one in a row. And then do the same thing tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.

As for me, I am going to keep on pushing toward my goal of completing half-marathon number 16 in May 2020, and celebrating every one in a row that I can count.

What We Need

“2019 has been a rough year for me,” is the nice version of what I have been saying about this year that has brought with it many challenges.

There’s just one problem with this statement: 2019 hasn’t ONLY brought challenges! 2019 has also brought with it celebrations, vacations, girls trips, lake days, family time, laughter and so much more.

And yet, my focus has been on anything but these positive pieces of the year.

Why is that? Why do we tend to focus on the bad/hard/frustrating stuff instead of the good/uplifting/amazing stuff?

I think it is because we have allowed ourselves to be conditioned to see everything in black (bad) and white (good), AND we have allowed ourselves to fall into the complaining trap.

Remember Thumper from Bambi?

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”

We tend to think about what Thumper’s mother taught him in terms of what we say to others, which is a good practice to have. But what we say to OURSELVES is just as important!

When we consistently tell ourselves that 2019 has been a crappy year, guess what? 2019 is going to look like a crappy year because we are focused on the crappy stuff that we have had to go through. BUT, if we were to change that narrative to say there have been some struggles in 2019, as there are in any year, but there have been some REALLY GOOD things this year that have brought me joy, how might our entire outlook on the year change?

I was reminded of this (AGAIN – it takes time for me to learn stuff sometimes) in a conversation I had last week. And as a result of that conversation, I pulled out my Gratitude Journal that I started a few years ago, while reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

I had made it to 300 before the journal got buried underneath other stuff in my Contemplative Corner, which is a pretty good picture of what had happened in my life lately. I had let the stuff of life cover over my gratitude.

So on Friday afternoon last week, I laid outside in my hammock, listening to the sounds of nature and community, and over the course of an hour or so I added 50 more items to my list. And you know what happened by doing that one action? I felt my heart shift. I felt my eyes begin to see things in a fresh light (again). I found myself looking for things for which I am thankful. I found myself grabbing that Gratitude Journal and adding to the list almost daily.

When we choose to focus on gratitude, it becomes almost impossible to complain. You know why? Because we don’t see the things to complain about, we only see things for which we are grateful. It’s all about our FOCUS!

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” and  Psalm 118:29 (along with MANY other places) says, “O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.”

When we FOCUS on giving thanks IN every circumstance (note: this is NOT giving thanks FOR every circumstance), and we recognize the goodness and the love of God that endures forever (despite whatever circumstances we are facing), our outlook can’t help but be one of thanksgiving and gratitude.

And the more we are grateful, the more we see for which to be grateful, which makes us more grateful, and so on, and so on. It’s kind of like a gratitude snowball that keeps building and building as it goes.

I know it is Wednesday, and Mondays are usually the music days, but since I didn’t get a blog up on Monday, you get a twofer today. This song says it beautifully. So take a listen and then take a few minutes to write down some stuff for which you are thankful. It’s what we all need.

Still the Same

The first week of August I was in Baltimore, Maryland for the Big Tent conference of the Presbyterian Church (USA). This was my third time at this event, previously in Knoxville and St. Louis. Every time I attend I am challenged, encouraged and grateful to be a part of the PC (USA). As I sat in worship on Thursday evening, the Community Concert Choir of Baltimore blessed us with this song.

As I sat and listened one particular line jumped out at me: The world is ever changing, but you are still the same. It almost felt like it smacked me in the face with truth. I immediately grabbed a pen and paper and wrote it down. I mean, I know that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, I have known that forever. And I know that the world is in a constant state of change, anyone can see that every day of their lives. But in that moment, those words washed over me and filled me with peace.

I am at this place in life where everything feels up in the air and I don’t really know what God is planning to do next. I have multiple questions and no real answers yet; other than trust that God will indeed order my steps. In the midst of a world that is constantly changing, in the midst of questions and wondering about what the future holds, I can trust that the God I serve is the same God that created the world, that created me, that called me to ministry, and will continue to lead me on the path for which I was created

Order my steps in Your word dear Lord,
Lead me, guide me everyday,
Send Your anointing, Father I pray;
Order my steps in Your word,
Please, order my steps in Your word.

Humbly, I ask Thee teach me Your will,
While You are working, help me be still,
‘Cos Satan is busy, God is real;
Order my steps in Your word,
Please, order my steps in Your word.

Bridle my tongue let my words edify,
Let the words of my mouth be acceptable in Thy sight,
Take charge of my thoughts both day and night;
Order my steps in Your word,
Please order my steps in Your word.

I want to walk worthy,
My calling to fulfill,
Please order my steps Lord,
And I’ll do Your blessed will.

The world is ever changing,
But You are still the same;
Please order my steps, Lord I’ll praise Your name.
Order my steps in Your word.
Order my tongue in Your word.
Guide my feet in Your word.
Wash my heart in Your word.
Show me how to walk in Your word.
Show me how to talk in Your word.
When I need a brand new song to sing,
Show me how to let Your praises ring,

Let It Begin

Mondays always feel like an opportunity to start fresh, but if you read my post from yesterday, you know I think every moment is an opportunity to do so, AND that I am at a point in my life where I am focusing in again on my health and wellness after a rough couple of years.

I also have recognized that I haven’t been writing the way that I need to be. Writing is how I process life, and how I sort through things I am learning. This is understandable as over the last 3+ years I have been only writing papers for seminary that were REQUIRED, and of course sermons to preach that were NECESSARY. But I miss writing for fun and just because I want to write!

So, in addition to getting back on track with my health and fitness, I am going to work on getting back on track with blogging as well. So, let’s kick it off with Music Monday!

This morning, as I was sitting in my contemplative corner listening to some music at the start of my devotion time, anticipating re-starting my soulmate workout that kick-started my weight loss a few years ago, thinking about some things the Lord has stirring in my spirit, and even wondering what I might do for today’s post, this song came on and it felt like a gift just for me this morning. Take a listen. See if maybe it re-lights a fire in you to stop waiting and start taking a chance on something new!

This Could Change Everything
Francesca Battistelli

There’s a fire inside, you can feel it burning
It’s a neon light glowing like a furnace
And the night is long but the world keeps turning
You gotta know it, it’s not the end

Every new sunrise is one step closer
It’s a sign in the sky that the fight’s not over
So face the world, it’s now or never
This is the moment, let it begin

This could change everything
Can you feel it now, something’s in the air?
This could change everything
I know we’re gonna know it when we get there
No more waiting, I’m taking the chance
This could change everything
Let it begin

See the world outside in technicolor
Be the one who paints outside the numbers
Like a child who is lost in wonder
I don’t wanna lose it, I’m breathing it in

This could change everything
Can you feel it now, something’s in the air?
This could change everything
I know we’re gonna know it when we get there
No more waiting, I’m taking the chance
This could change everything
Let it begin

You can feel it coming like a flood
Wash over us, wash over us
Let the future we’ve been dreaming up
Wash over us, wash over us
You can feel it coming like a flood
Wash over us, wash over us
Let the future we’ve been dreaming up
Wash over us, wash over us

This could change everything
Can you feel it now, something’s in the air?
This could change everything
I know we’re gonna know it when we get there
No more waiting, I’m taking the chance
This could change everything
Let it begin

From Silence to Speaking

Prayer in Times of Conflict

O God, you have bound us together in a common life. Help us,
in the midst of our struggles for justice and truth, to confront
one another without hatred or bitterness, and to work
together with mutual forbearance and respect; through Jesus
Christ our Lord. Amen.

The Book of Common Prayer of the Episcopal Church

I have been quiet lately. Ok, I have been quiet for a long time when it comes to this blog. Life has been, let’s say, a chaos of my own making. What that really means is that I was the one who said, “yes” when God said, “go to seminary.” For the last 2-1/2 years I have been continuing my life as wife, mother, housekeeper (although I should probably be fired from that one), Growth & Nurture Leader, race director, and friend (even though I sometimes have failed at that one) while attempting to keep my head above water in a great but challenging Master of Divinity program. How’s that going, you ask? Well, let’s just say I will be done December 10, but who’s counting?

I have loved seminary. From the friends I have made to the professors that have influenced me to the subjects that have challenged me, I have loved seminary. But it has been a challenging time. Between the rigors of classes – time management, paper writing, reading (and then reading some more) – and the constant nature of life, including the grief of losing my dad – there have been times of struggle, joy, hardship and hope. And even now there is anticipation and uncertainty about what God’s plans are for my family and I as we near the completion of the ordination process in the PC(USA). You know what happens in times like this? Anxiety.

Anxiety isn’t necessarily good or bad. In fact it can be both and it can be neutral. It is our response to anxiety that is the real issue. Nowhere is this more prevalent than in our country right now. Turn on the TV and you are bombarded by political ads. Turn on the radio and get more of the same. Drive down the street and see signs in yards all around you. Sit in a restaurant and hear people talking about who to vote for. Scroll through Facebook and feel the anxiety rise.

The other day, I saw a friend post an article on Facebook. It was a good article with good points to think about. But what got me was the conversation (or confrontation) that then happened in the comments section under the post. Here was a post by a Christian friend, meant to share some insight, with comments by another Christian friend that didn’t just take issue with the article, but took issue with the poster’s personal convictions and viewpoint. Now, I know this is nothing new, this is what seems to be happening everywhere and social media is just one of the arenas where people seem to be unable to interact in ways that build up instead of tear down, but this particular incident just won’t let me sit back and stay silent any longer.

The assigned reading for one of my fall classes spoke directly to what I was feeling today as it took on the idea of “We versus They.” See if any of these things sound familiar to you:

  • “What creates polarization is not the actual content of the issue on which a ‘family’ splits. It is rather emotional processes that foster conflict of wills (efforts to convert one another).”
  • “Unfortunately, today’s polarization is maintained by a bold competitiveness. The goal of conflict is to win. No thought is given to ‘we sink or swim together.’ Instead, one party swims and the other must sink.”
  • “Conflict is no longer a time for learning but for conquering. Domination supplants education. Civility and courtesy give way to sneers and shouting.”
  • “People function at the level of the primitive brain, breaking everything into this or that, black or white, plus or minus.”
  • “Behaviors become more aggressive–shouting down the opposite side, belittling them, using in-your-face tactics to intimidate…”
  • “Bogged down in a standoff, people are apt to use conflict as a way of carrying out a competition, rather than as education. The situation becomes increasingly negative and hostile.”

Steinke, Peter L. Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times:
Being Calm and Courageous No Matter What

I don’t know about you, but I felt like the author was writing about the political and social climate we live in, rather than what happens in churches when there is conflict. These are the kinds of responses that I see happening all around me, and I am pretty sure that most of you could say the same.

When we dig in our heels and determine that we are right, no matter what, we essentially cut ourselves off from learning anything new, seeing anyone else’s point of view as valid, and ultimately from fostering relationships with anyone whose viewpoint differs from our own. And I’m gonna say it: that includes God.

“But,” you might say, “God is on my side!” WRONG! Regardless of what side you are on, it has nothing to do with what side God is on. In the Facebook thread I noted earlier, someone used this quote from Abraham Lincoln:

Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God’s side, for God is always right.

Abraham Lincoln

Now, on the internet you can find lots of quotes from lots of people and some of them are correctly attributed to their authors, and some are not, but regardless of whether or not this is actually something that Abraham Lincoln himself said, there is some striking truth to the statement. Shouldn’t we be looking for where God is at work and partnering with God there instead of assuming that we know what God’s stance is on this, that or the other? Shouldn’t our response to the issues that plague us today be to jump in and bring peace, justice and hope, rather than simply criticize the powers that be?

Now, there will be some that will say, “But that is what the Bible says,” about their pet issue, but guess what? Anyone can make the Bible say anything they want if they take it out of context. I am a lover of God’s Word, but one of the things I have learned is that you can’t take one verse or one idea and throw the rest out. You have to take the Bible, as a whole, and look at the overarching story of God’s plan and purposes for the world. You have to see through the eyes of Jesus and really consider how the qualities of God’s Kingdom look nothing like the qualities of this world. There comes a point at which I have to empty myself of all that I hold dear and let the Spirit of God fill me with love, mercy and grace so that I can truly live as a beloved child of God, bringing that love, mercy, and grace of God to all of God’s beloved children – whether they look like me, believe like me, or not.

In the grand scheme of things, what does more good for God’s Kingdom: railing against illegal immigrants or caring for foreign children who have been separated from their parents? being determined that no one is going to take away your guns or entering into meaningful action to help those who suffer from mental illness? This list could go on and on about the many issues at hand in our world, but the list isn’t the point. The point is, how do we, who claim to be followers of Jesus Christ, God incarnate, live into that incarnation and embody Christ in every word and every act? How do we pick up our feet from where they have been grounded, and move into a place where we can hear one another, love one another, and act in ways that embody the values of God’s Kingdom? Isn’t it time to let go of what we think is right and take hold of what God knows is right?

Each morning as I rise, I sit in what I am calling my “Contemplative Corner” where I listen to uplifting music for a minimum of fifteen minutes before spending some time reading God’s Word, journaling and praying. This morning, I was particularly touched by this song that captures some of what I am saying today. Take a listen. Spend some time with God. And see where the motion of God’s mercy might take you today.

Bring It On

Seminary. Church work. Family. PiYo/Beachbody work. Volunteer work. BoCo RunCo work.

My life is crazy these days without much margin. I won’t say my life is not my own, because it is my own. I am here because I have chosen to follow this path. It definitely isn’t easy, and I have to be honest and say that I am struggling with the demands on my time, but it is exactly where I am supposed to be.

I was reminded of that very fact just this morning. During my prayer time I was working through some of the discipleship tools being offered to me through one of my seminary courses. I listened to Rachel Platten’s Fight Song (below), both this version and the version done by the Piano Guys, read Rachel’s back story about this song, and then spent some time with Psalm 84.

Through this and some insight from our professor, I was reminded of what it took for me to get to this place. I have fought with God over whether or not He really meant to call me to be a pastor. I have struggled with verbalizing this call to my family and friends. I have ben knocked down by things like lack of support and imperfect systems. I even went through a very tough time of simply waiting for three years and seeing no forward progress at all.

Through that time I had a post-it note that stuck on my computer monitor reminding me, “Your calling is sure,” words that the Lord had given to me through a variety of sources.

When the time of waiting was over and movement began again, it didn’t always feel like forward momentum. In fact, there was a period of time that felt like I was punched in the gut and left for dead. But God was still at work marking out a new journey on new pathways.

The new journey hasn’t moved quickly and easily either. My husband says, “It seems like anything worthwhile isn’t easy,” and I agree. There are still many fears to conquer, mountains to climb, and opposition to face, but I cannot let the fight go out of me. I have to push forward (in God’s timing), follow-through, do my part, and watch as God fulfills His promises.

Part of Psalm 84 (VOICE) says “Blessed are those who make you their strength, for they treasure every step of the journey…They journey from place to place, gaining strength along the way; until they meet God in Zion. (Bold mine.)

These words were especially important today as I feel weak and worn down, trying not to fall into the “just get through” mentality that can sometimes plague me into not treasuring every step of the journey. So the reminder that I will gain strength along the way is a beautiful one for me today. I won’t continue to wear down as I go, but I will gain strength as I go.

This fight that I have to finish the journey isn’t one I fight alone, but rather one that God fights right along side me. He gives me the strength to fight. He gives me the path to follow. He gives me the truth to believe.

I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.

Bring it on.

Fight Song
Rachel Platten
Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion
And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep
Everybody’s worried about me
In too deep
Say I’m in too deep (in too deep)
And it’s been two years I miss my home
But there’s a fire burning in my bones
Still believe
Yeah, I still believe

Fighting the Winter Blahs

So, this blog post idea has been in the Notes app on my phone since November 17. Today is December 7 for those of you who might not realize it. This is how crazy my life has been: a blog post that pretty much writes itself hasn’t been written. But today is Monday. A new day, a new week, and I have been marking stuff off of my to-do list like a mad woman. Not sure how long into the week being on top of things will last, so I am going to take this opportunity to ACTUALLY WRITE! It is a beautiful thing!

So one of the things that I have struggled with for years is depression. And the winter only makes it more pronounced. I strongly dislike (note that I am choosing NOT to use the word hate) cold, dreary, wet, dark days. I have already said numerous times that summer can come any day now. I like my sun and warm. I like being outside. I like laying in the pool on a raft, taking a ride on the lake in a boat, sitting on my porch sipping ice-cold drinks with friends. And while the occasional “snuggle up on the couch in a warm cozy blanket” day is a welcome respite, the “I am freezing all the time and can’t get warm for anything” monotony of winter leads me down a dark path.

Because I know this about myself, I have had to learn ways to fight off the “I want to stay in my bed for weeks and eat nothing but bad-for-me comfort food and take turns sleeping and watching television” blahs. Here are a few of my go-to weapons.

  1. Work out. Do it. Whatever kind of workout you can do. Take a brisk walk. Go for a run. Head out to a group exercise class (Here is one I teach!). Find an in-home DVD that you enjoy (I can help you find one.). Do something EVERY DAY. The more you move, the more endorphins are released. The more endorphins that are released, the better you feel. The better you feel, the easier it is to fight off the blahs when they come in like a flood.
  2. Eat right. Do it. If you don’t know how, talk to me about it and I will help. Comfort food may seem like it comforts you in the moment, but those sugary, high fat, high carb foods will cause you to crash harder once the initial “high” wears off. Studies have shown that VEGETABLES have an inherent anti-depressant quality, but to get the benefits, you have to eat them. 🙂 If you struggle with this, here is a way to help: don’t buy the junk and/or keep it out of sight. Keep healthy choices in front of you and make them what you reach for in those moments of weakness. Also, when you are having a blah day, be sure that you aren’t eating for comfort. When you feel overly “snacky” find an alternative – go for a walk, call a friend, pick up a hobby you enjoy. Making these healthier choices will help you combat those “down” days.
  3. Get sleep. Do it. Lack of sleep wreaks all kinds of havoc on your body, not to mention your emotional state. Figure out how much sleep you need and make it happen. Sometimes it is hard when you have commitments, but as often as possible get to bed at a time that allows you adequate rest. I know that I need between 6-1/2 and 8 hours of sleep a night to function well. That means if I am getting up at 4:30 a.m. (yep – that is what time I get up almost every weekday so I can make sure #1 happens), I need to have the lights out by 9:30 p.m. or 10:00 p.m. at the absolute latest. That means that I get kids headed to bed between 8:30 and 9:00 p.m., and I am in my bed by 9:00 p.m. to have some time to do my devotions and read for a little while. If you want to feel better, make sleep a priority.
  4. Even if you are doing all three of these things fairly well, there will still be rough days sometimes. Don’t let the blahs win. Get up. Get dressed in real clothes (don’t default to the sweats/yoga pants that are calling your name). Put on some makeup (if you are one that wears makeup). Do your hair. There is something about the process of making yourself look good that in turn makes you feel good.
  5. Last but certainly not least, if you are still struggling, ASK FOR HELP! It might be you need your spouse to do something to help you. You might need to have lunch with a friend. It is possible that you need medical or pharmaceutical assistance. When you have tried everything and it isn’t getting you anywhere, it is time to call in reinforcements in the form of PEOPLE who care about you and love you.

You can make it through the winter blahs. Even if it means you occasionally need to turn up the music and have an impromptu dance party in the middle of your living room or drive around town with the music blaring and you singing at the top of your lungs. (Yes, sometimes these are necessary coping mechanisms for me.) So in that vein, since it is Monday and I like to share music with you on Mondays, enjoy one of my family’s favorite Christmas songs and SMILE!