Author: Chrisy

Hard Habits to Break

I think we all would agree that the hardest part about the holidays when it comes to our health is the food.

It’s everywhere. Christmas parties. Snacks people bring to work.

And it’s in our traditions.

I have a list of all the things that our family used to make every year growing up. And I have continued making those traditional treats with my kids.

Not that we keep it all for ourselves – we definitely give away quite a bit to others – but what we don’t give away sits in the house and then you know what happens?

It gets eaten. By me. Yes, the others help, but it is really hard to resist things like pecan turtles, peanut butter balls, crescent cookies, dipped pretzels, molasses gingersnaps, iced cut-out cookies, peppernuts, and party mix.

Last year, I told my family each to pick their favorite thing and we would make a smaller batch of those few things.

But one thing led to another and we ended up making everything anyway. Just not all in one day like we usually do.

At the end of the season I just felt awful for having consumed all these sweets that I had worked so hard to break my cravings for.

This year, I haven’t made a thing. Chalk it up to busy-ness, my lack of energy and motivation, and the fact that I really don’t want it in the house at all.

The kids are asking, but I keep putting them off.

I kind of feel like if I would just allow myself to NOT make some (or all) stuff for one year, then it would be easier to not make everything every year. Because you know what is more powerful than the pull of food? The pull of tradition. It feels like I am breaking a tradition to not make all these sweets. It feels like I am not passing on the great memories of holiday baking with my mom and sisters to my kids.

But if I really think about it, I am making other traditions with them that don’t surround food. And the more I can steer them away from poor food choices, the better off they will be in the long run.

So maybe it isn’t such a bad idea to break this tradition.

I don’t really know. I haven’t landed on what  I really think. I would love to hear from you – about your food traditions and whether or not you struggle with these issues.

Part of the Process

I like to read. A lot.

Much of the time I read novels. Nicholas Sparks. Karen Kingsbury. Angela Hunt. Dee Henderson. Charles Martin. Beverly Lewis. These are just a few of my favorite authors.

I am one of those people who gets absorbed in novels and have been known to cry or get angry about what is happening in a book as if the characters were real.

Last January I hit a dry spell. I couldn’t read. I tried. Over and over. I started one book that would typically take me a couple of days to finish and it took me 6 months.

Finally, in October, the dry spell was over. I could read again. I was devouring books again. I even spent a couple of days on my couch just reading. I can’t remember the last time I did that.

And then it happened. I finished The Nativity Story by Angela Hunt and I couldn’t start another novel.

I’m not sure why. I had one picked out and sitting by my bed, but I couldn’t pick it up.

Instead, I was drawn to a book in a genre that is quickly becoming my favorite: memoirs.

The one calling my name was Angry Conversations with God: A Snarky but Authentic Spiritual Memoir by Susan Isaacs. I bought the book over a year ago and it had just been sitting on my shelf. So I started reading it. And I couldn’t put it down. I finished it in just a couple of days. (And since I pretty much only have time to read before bed, and even that is limited some days, that’s pretty amazing.) In her story, she takes God to counseling, or rather, she takes her image of God to counseling. There is something about the way she writes that just struck a chord with me. The sarcasm, snark, and humor perfectly woven with the real questions, hardships, and struggles that she faced spoke to me. So much so, that when I finished it, I posted this on Facebook:

Just finished “Angry Conversations with God” by Susan Isaacs. Loved it. The subtitle is “A Snarky but Authentic Spiritual Memoir” and it is just that. It is real. It is tough. It deals with the fact that life sucks. It really spoke to me. Read it. If you have ever questioned God or life or your place in it. Read it.

And I meant it. I still do.

After I finished it, I went to pick up the novel that I had picked out (it was still sitting next to my bed) and again I couldn’t.

Instead I was reminded of a book that I had waiting for me in the Kindle App on my iPad. Love Does by Bob Goff. Guess what. Another memoir.

I have been working on it for the last couple of days. I can’t put it down. I keep finding gems that speak to me. Things like:

Jesus told the people He was with that it’s not enough to just look like you love God. He said we’d know the extent of our love for God by how well we loved people.

and:

I once heard somebody say that God had closed a door on an opportunity they had hoped for. But I’ve always wondered if, when we want to do something that we know is right and good, God places that desire deep in our hearts because He wants it for us and it honors Him. Maybe there are times when we think a door has been closed and, instead of misinterpreting the circumstances, God wants us to kick it down. Or perhaps just sit outside of it long enough until somebody tells us we can come in.

I don’t know why I am being drawn to these books. But I think it might be part of the process of coming out of this time of depression and anxiety that has been plaguing me. I think there may be things that I need to learn and I can’t learn them through novels right now. (I have learned much from novels, as well, over the years, but maybe that’s not what I need at this point.) Maybe I can only learn them through other people’s real stories. Through their struggles. Through their pain. Through their redemption. Through their enlightening.

So I guess I’ll keep reading what my heart and mind seem to be looking for – whatever form that takes.

What are you reading these days? How do the books you read affect you?

Monday Music: Christmas!

It’s December! This month, I thought I would share some of my favorite songs with you each Monday.

Last Christmas Eve, I was running in Orange Beach/Gulf Shores, Alabama listening to this album. It was a wonderful time of worship and this is just one of the songs that really blessed my soul.

Last week, I was listening to this album again on a run, and guess what? It blessed me again!

And then yesterday, we sang this song in worship and my favorite part was listening to my son sing it loudly.

Take a listen. I hope you are blessed by it as well. And I pray that your soul magnifies the Lord like Mary’s did as she carried our Savior!

Healthy Fear

Know what is getting me out of bed to run these days?

Motivation? Not really. I don’t feel like running.

A sense of duty to my body to stay in shape? Eh. Not so much that either.

I’m scared to death of the upcoming race? Yep. That’s the one.

Six weeks from tomorrow race weekend begins: 13.1 miles on Saturday, 26.2 miles on Sunday.

Last week I ran 16 miles on Sunday. The furthest I have ever run. Yes, I did a marathon last spring, but we trained to run 5 miles, walk 2, the entire route. I didn’t walk at all for the 16.

This weekend we do 18. Then a couple shorter “long” runs. Then 20. Then we are just 2 weeks to race days.

At this point in training, I am tired. The long hours of running are getting harder and harder to find. To be honest, some days I would like nothing more than to just quit.

But I paid for this race. I have bought an airline ticket. There’s no such thing as quitting at this point. And I really am scared that if I miss workouts at this point, it is going to affect whether or not I can even finish this challenge.

It’s a healthy fear. It’s not keeping me up at night, but it is keeping me running to finish this goal.

Is there anything you have a healthy fear of these days that keeps you moving in the right direction?

Struggling

I have been a terrible blogger for the last couple of weeks. I have thought about blogging every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, as is my (plan, custom, habit), but every time I get to the “Add New Post” page, I can’t do it.

I have ideas, but just not the energy or creativity to flesh them out.

I have time, but just not the motivation to use it to blog.

I’m in a funk.

I have noticed in the last couple of weeks the depression has gotten heavier and the anxiety has gotten higher. I have noticed that I am not texting, calling, talking, or Facebooking as much as I typically do. I have noticed I am withdrawing from life, little by little.

There’s no explanation. There’s no reason that I can pinpoint. It is what it is.

I know this happens to me sometimes. I don’t see it coming. And I don’t necessarily see it happening until I am in the midst of it. And once in the midst of it, I don’t know how to get out of it.

I try. I pray. I read. I make myself reach out. I force myself to smile. I purposely put myself with people instead of staying by myself.

But that doesn’t necessarily change anything. I have to wait it out. I have to pray that it lifts sooner rather than later. And I have to remember that it will lift. And I will get to the other side. Just like I have many times before.

I don’t write this post so you will feel sorry for me. I write this post for those of you who struggle like me. There is hope. And it comes in unexpected ways. This week, it was a reading in Jesus Calling and it came at a time when I really needed it.

If you are struggling right now, I encourage you to look for the beauty, the reasons to be thankful, the life all around you. It may not change your circumstances, but it will change your outlook on those circumstances.

That’s what I am working on today.

Monday Music: You Can’t Help But Smile

This is one of my all-time favorite versions of one of my all-time favorite songs. I wasn’t allowed to watch The Wizard of Oz growing up, so I never associated this song with that movie, it was just a song that we had on an old 45 that I always loved. And then when I heard this version, I fell in love all over again. My kids knew this version before they ever heard another one because I have played it often in their years on this earth. With another Monday here along with colder temps, I just needed the smile that comes along with listening to this song and I thought I would share my smile with you today.

Every Day

When you decide to “get healthy,” there is always a place in your mind that thinks, “If I can only do this for ______________ (days, months, weeks, years), then it will be easy to maintain.”

The problem is, it doesn’t happen that way.

There are sick days that get you out of your exercise routine.

There are stressful times and group gatherings that push you off the eating well wagon.

And when these things happen at the same time – pow – you are knocked down and can’t figure out how to get back up.

Then there are just the monotonous times when you are bored with your workout routine and bored with the healthy food choices, and it is so tempting (and easy) to slack off.

And then you feel guilty. And you feel like it should be easier since you have been doing it for so long.

That sometimes happens to me. But it helps when I remember how hard it was to make the changes in the first place, and realize that it is a little easier now. Some because I know better about what good choices look like and feel like.

But the truth is, I have to make choices every day to stay healthy. I have to decide to get out of bed to exercise. I have to decide to walk away from the tempting foods. I have to decide that even though my whole family may be eating something I really want to eat, but shouldn’t, it’s okay to say no. I’ve come too far to go backwards. I don’t want to put the weight back on. I don’t want to lose the endurance I have built up.

And while some days are easier than others, I have to make those good choices every day. Even on the ones when it takes everything in me to make the right one.

Every day.

Are you making good choices today?

Time Warp and Gratitude

So I kind of missed blogging last week. Completely. Monday got away from me. Wednesday I just didn’t have time to flesh out what was on my mind. And Friday I was with a friend at the hospital all day.

And here it is Monday again. November is upon us. Daylight Savings Time has ended.

How is it that this happens so fast?

Last November, I encouraged you in this post to practice Thanksgiving. I practiced it by posting daily on Facebook what I was thankful for each day.

This year, I wanted to do something different. I wanted to make sure that my whole family was practicing being grateful. So we created the “Wall of Thanks.”

Okay. So it’s not really a wall. It’s my bedroom door. But it works. Each day in November, Mike, the kids and I are writing something that we are thankful for on a post-it note and adding it to the wall. We even got our small group involved last night and they added their own post-it notes. It’s looking so colorful and fun, and I am thoroughly enjoying reading what my family comes up with each day – from sweet to funny (family to bathrooms). The kids are enjoying it so much, they are doing it first thing in the morning when they wake up!

So, once again, I encourage you to find a way to be grateful every day of November. You’ll be amazed at how much it changes your outlook!

Food and Fitness Friday: Really?

Sunday I ran the St. Louis Rock ‘n’ Roll 1/2 marathon. It was fun. It was good. I felt great for most of the race and wasn’t sore at all afterwards. I was treating it as a training run rather than a race, but in the moment it is easy to get caught up and try to push it, which I kind of did at times and came out with a time that wasn’t my fastest, but was way faster than my slowest, so I felt good about it.

I ate really well last week in preparation for the race and worked hard at staying good and hydrated. I even took a couple of rest days toward the end of the week, and then ran a 5K on Saturday to kind of loosen myself up so I was ready.

And then Monday came. And Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. I have done nothing but eat terribly all week. Cookies. Crackers. Candy. Pizza. Snacks. Just terrible. I did cook overnight oatmeal one night, so had a couple of decent breakfasts, and I made a great crock pot potato leek soup so have had that for a few meals, but other than that, I haven’t made good choices. And I feel it. I am tired, sluggish, bloated, and not motivated at all to change it.

I have managed to not miss a workout this week at all, and have even felt myself pushing harder this week, despite some nagging pain in my shin. So that’s good, but the eating has got to get back in line.

As I have tried to figure out why I am struggling so much, I realized that usually after a race I take a week off from running to rest and recover, but because I am continuing to train for the Goofy Challenge, I couldn’t do that this week. And I wonder if that’s why I have let my good eating habits go out the window for a few days. My mind knows I need a break somewhere and that’s what I can do.

The problem is, sweets are drugs, and once you let them in, it’s hard to get them back out. And it’s Halloween time. And parades galore. And there is candy overflowing the “candy cabinet” in our house. And I’m weak.

But I can’t let my weakness turn into permission to eat junk. I can’t let my exhaustion dictate bad food choices.

So I’m done. I had a few days of indulgence, now it is back to what has become normal for me – eating right. My head is convinced, now to convince my stomach. 🙂

And let’s hope the candy they throw at the Centralia parade on Saturday is all stuff  I don’t like or can’t have.

Do you ever find yourself struggling to re-gain control of food or exercise patterns? How do you get back on track?