Author: Chrisy

Food and Fitness Friday: In Therapy

I have a magnet on my refrigerator that says:

In my life, this is so true. I run for health. I run for enjoyment. I run because I need to exercise. But I also run to leave my troubles behind. I run with friends to talk and process what is happening in our lives. I run, not in isolation, but in community, because that is what I am made for.

So what happens when you don’t run for a week during a pretty stressful time?

Let’s just say this: it ain’t pretty.

A crazy week last week, followed by a running attempt that ended abruptly with a back that completely tightened up on me and stayed that way for a few days has sidelined my running for almost another week. And I’m struggling. When I don’t run, I find excuses to eat badly. When I don’t run, my overall mood is darker. When I don’t run, I hurt – both physically and mentally/emotionally. In other words, no running makes for a grumpy Chrisy.

So in the midst of that, I have to find other means of “therapy.” Sometimes that is sitting with a book. Sometimes that is watching the Olympics. Sometimes it’s listening to music (although too much Kenny Chesney has me ready to run away to a tropical beach somewhere these days.) Sometimes that is getting my nails done. Sometimes that is letting my kids brush, straighten or otherwise play with my hair. Sometimes that is writing in my journal. Sometimes that is reading my Bible. Sometimes it is setting time aside for prayer. Sometimes it’s just going to bed early. But all of the time it is work to find what it is that I need to do in order to have some “therapy” time. And that requires me to choose those things. Which is hard. It is easier to just be grumpy. It is easier to hide from life. But I can’t choose easy.

I hope to be up and running again by the weekend, even though my therapy partners are off doing a race. But in the meantime, I’ll continue looking for therapy times in other ways.

What things are therapeutic for you and how do you deal with it when those things aren’t an option?

The Golden Rule

I feel like I spend so much time in my house telling my one (or both) of my kids, “treat him the way you want to be treated, not the way he treated you!” Or, “you are not supposed to do back to her whatever bad thing she did do to you. You are supposed to be better to her!” Or, my favorite, “I wish you two would show more kindness to one another, rather than just being plain old mean and vicious!”

And then I get on Facebook. And sometimes I feel like I need to say the same things to half of the people in my news feed. Particularly these last couple of weeks.

I have even had some recent conversations with people (of the adult variety) where I had to say the same things to them that I say to my children. Obviously in a different and less parent-y way, but the same nonetheless.

So when I read this in my devotional time one evening last week, I really resonated with it, and subsequently wanted to personally share it with every human being that I know that needs to hear these words. But then I would be doing exactly what I despise and behaving in the exact ways that this passage tells me not to. So instead, I have just been meditating on it and how it applies to me and how I live my life. The passage is found in 1 Peter 3:8-17:

8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For,

“Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from deceitful speech.
11 He must turn from evil and do good;
he must seek peace and pursue it.
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.” 15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17 It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

Powerful words about the power of our words and actions. Promises of blessing when we do right and when we are eager to do good.

I know it is hard when someone says something mean (and possibly untrue) about you. Our natural tendency is to defend ourselves, which is where we tend to get into trouble. In the process of defending ourselves, we can sometimes end up repaying “evil with evil or insult with insult.”

But as Christians, we are told to repay evil and insult with blessing. In Matthew 5:44, Jesus tells us to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

That means no matter what is done to you or said about you, you don’t get to retaliate in like manner and get away with it. That means that you are called to a higher level of action, even when it hurts. Even when it is devastating. Even when it seems impossible to do so.

And you can, because “what is impossible with men is possible with God.” (Luke 18:27)

Can you imagine if all of those who claim to be followers of Christ would actually act this way? Can you imagine the change in the social climate? The political scene? The neighborhood park? The nation’s schools? The workplace?

What would it be like if everyone repaid evil with blessing? It would be a much better world than the one in which we currently live. May it start with me.

How do you react to this idea? What ways could you implement this into your life more fully?

Food and Fitness Fridays: Picky Eaters

I wish there was a type of “food bleach” that I could use when making healthy food for my family.

There are certain things you can blend in (literally) and they have no clue that you are feeding them healthy food. For example, three weeks ago I made fresh spaghetti sauce chock full of garden Roma tomatoes, green peppers, zucchini, etc. My son and daughter both threw an absolute fit and went on and on about how “gross” it tasted, all because they could see chunks of vegetables. Fast forward two weeks. I made the EXACT SAME spaghetti sauce, but this time, used the stick blender on it. The same two children raved about how wonderful the sauce was.

This week, one of the meals I prepared was Lentil and Mushroom Shepherd’s Pie (follow the link to find the recipe). I know certain things about my kids such as 1) Anne doesn’t like (the thought) of mushrooms, so instead of slicing them, I chopped them finely so she couldn’t see them. 2) My kids don’t like cauliflower. Now, I don’t really eat many potatoes these days, so I used cauliflower in place of 1/2 of the potatoes it called for and just made sure they didn’t see me preparing it. 3) I know my kids freak out at the idea of “green stuff” (a.k.a. spinach, kale, arugula, etc.) but the recipe called for it and it was wilted in the sauce and I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal if the food tasted good. Boy was I WRONG!

The Shepherd’s Pie was delicious. It tasted like one of my husband’s favorite meals, mushroom steak, but without the meat. Anne thought it was great despite the fact that there was “green stuff” in it (and she is the picky one). Ty on the other hand cried, whined, bargained, and otherwise drove me crazy for the whole 45 minutes it took for him to finally eat it. All because he didn’t like the “green stuff” (which incidentally had no taste other than the taste of the shepherd’s pie itself). (Side note: neither one of them had any idea that the mashed potatoes were half cauliflower and Anne had no idea that it was full of mushrooms. Score 1 for mom!)

Anne was cleaning the toilet a couple of weeks ago, and there was a stain that she couldn’t get off. While there was still blue toilet bowl cleaner in the bowl, I added some bleach to work on the stain. Within seconds, the blue cleaner was no longer blue. She found this absolutely amazing. And this is what came to my mind while I was fighting with Ty over eating the “green stuff.” I wish there was a way to bleach it so he couldn’t see it, so I could continue to trick him into eating healthy foods.

But really, I don’t want to have to trick them. I want them to find what I have found, that not only are these “green things” good for you, but they add so much to the party when you are making fresh meals – both taste and nutrition. I want them to want to eat healthily. I want them to be thankful that they live in a house where they aren’t being served junk on a regular basis and they have a mom who wants to teach them healthy eating habits NOW so they stick to them when they are on their own.

And then I saw this cartoon this morning on Facebook and I had to laugh. And cry a little inside.

Not only is this true of kids, but it is even true of many adults. They don’t spend much time in the produce section of the grocery store to know there is more to life than lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, and green beans. They don’t understand all the nutritional value found in places other than meat, cheese, milk, and eggs. And to be perfectly honest, until I began pursuing a whole foods, plant-based diet, I didn’t know as much as I thought I did. But I am learning. And loving every minute of it. I feel as if my taste buds have encountered a whole new world of flavors and my stomach is so much more satisfied after eating smaller amounts of more filling and nutritious food.

This kind of dietary change is not for everyone, but adding more whole and plant-based foods into any diet can be life-changing. Not only in terms of finding new things to like, but also in terms of overall health.

I just hope one day that my kids pick up on it and the fighting over the dinner selections comes to an end.

In the meantime, if you have any creative ways to sneak things into food, share them with me!

Sometimes a Filter Isn’t Enough

Some of my friends and I often refer to whether or not our “filter” is working. You know, the filter that determines what of the stuff that goes through your mind actually gets said out loud and what stays locked safely inside.

Some days the filter works well. Others, well, not so much.

And when it doesn’t work, what comes out isn’t pretty. One of my friends uses the phrase “emotional vomit” on her blog site and I think that is a pretty good description of the stuff that comes out of my mouth when my filter is on the fritz.

I have had a week so far that has been quite a challenge for my filter. There have been moments when I am not sure just how well it is working. There have been others when I am pretty sure the “emotional vomit” quotient was pretty high.

Fortunately, most of the time, I was just getting it all over myself and not others, but that’s not great either.

So tonight, I am praying this verse:

Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord;
keep watch over the door of my lips.
-Psalm 141:3

Because sometimes my internal filter isn’t enough. Sometimes (ok, all of the time) I need to have the Lord guarding what comes out of my mouth. Because what I say needs to be edifying, uplifting, and Christlike. Not Chrisy-like.

Lord, help me!

How about you? Filter or Guard?

Opinions, Opinions Everywhere, and Only Mine Counts

I wrote this post on Friday:

I am growing increasingly frustrated with the prevalent attitude I am seeing that says, “This is what I think (believe), and if you don’t agree with me, you are wrong.” In other words, you can have your own opinion, as long as it is the same as mine.

What happened to diversity? What happened to valuing the opinions of others? What happened to polite discussion that ends in an agreement to disagree? Why is it so important for everyone to agree on everything? I think we are looking at a pretty dull society if we all become robots who think the same way, act the same way, and believe the same things.

Even more frustrating to me is the fact that I am seeing this so often from people who claim to be Christ followers. I expect (although I don’t like it) to see these types of attitudes in the people of the world who don’t claim to be Christian, but as Christians, we are supposed to be counter-cultural, to imitate Christ, to love one another. Yet more and more I am seeing those who say they are Christians who are angry, judgmental, and leave no room to tolerate, much less hear the opinions or beliefs of anyone else. And that isn’t what I see in Jesus. I see a man who didn’t judge the adulteress, the tax collector or the people who didn’t believe His teaching. The only time we see Jesus angry is when the religious leaders of the day were turning the house of worship into something that it wasn’t meant to be and when these same leaders were putting unrealistic rules and expectations, and thus oppressing, the people under their care.

So it makes me angry when I see Westboro Baptist Church doing their protests in ways that are hurtful to others.

It breaks my heart when I read a story about a pastor who wasn’t allowed to perform the marriage ceremony of an African-American couple in his own church, and instead had to use another church in town.

It hurts me to see this whole Chik-fil-a controversy blowing up all over Facebook bringing a dividing line between friends.

It mourns me to see and hear such hateful and judgmental language used about those who are in poverty.

It was my plan to finish it this morning and post it. It was a hard post to write, but one that was screaming to get out. I had to stop writing though because I was getting pretty worked up and needed to walk away.

The interesting thing was, when I “walked away” I ran smack into this post from Jen Hatmaker.

And all I could say was, “wow!” This woman put exactly what I was thinking and feeling into words much more eloquent and profound than I ever could. So I decided I would share both my words and hers today.

Are you ready to leave behind the hate and drama and get to the real work of loving people like Christ did? I know I am.

Food and Fitness Friday: Pushing Through

This has been a rough week. Some medicine changes have me all messed up. It has made me tired. It has made me crave the crappy food that I haven’t craved for a couple of months. It has made me want to skip my workouts.

And while I did eat a couple of snicker doodles this week, for the most part I persevered.

When I didn’t sleep at all Sunday night, I still got up and did yoga on Monday.

When I wanted to eat everything in the house a couple of different nights, I grabbed an apple or some celery and (natural) peanut butter.

As my family sprinkled cheese all over their spaghetti and I craved that melty goodness the other night, I focused on the amazing flavor of the homemade spaghetti sauce we were dining on. (Side note: I made the exact same spaghetti sauce two weeks ago and my kids whined because they didn’t like it. This time, I used the stick blender on it and they couldn’t see the green pepper, zucchini, etc. in it and they raved about how wonderful it was. You can get your kids to eat vegetables, you just have to trick them sometimes.)

Today, after another less than stellar night of sleep, I wanted nothing more than to roll over and go back to sleep when the alarm went off at 4:51. But I got up anyway and am so glad that I did. Even though I am sitting here writing this in clothing that is completely soaked with sweat. Even though, by 2:00 this afternoon I may wish I could take a nap. Even though my muscles will be sore from the weights workout. By getting up when I didn’t want to and pushing through a workout I wasn’t sure I had it in me to do, I learned more about myself and the fact that I can push beyond the feelings of the moment and feel better about it on the other side.

And if I can do it, you can to.

Push through something hard today just to remind yourself that you can. Whether it be food, exercise, attitude, or something else. Just push through. You’ll be glad you did.

If Only They Cared

Ever have those days where you feel like no one cares about the things you care about?

I am having one of those weeks.

And what’s sad about it is the thing I am most obsessed with right now is the fact that no one seems to care about keeping the house clean but me.

And then I go through the “why bother” stage myself since even when I attempt to keep things in order, five minutes later someone spills something, throws the pillows off the couch, tracks dirt in the house, or decides that it takes emptying the entire dresser of clothing to find one thing to wear.

And then I get mad. And ugly. Because I want someone to care besides me. I want someone else to want to come home to a clean and tidy house. And the thing is, they all like it when it is clean and tidy, but they don’t want to do the work necessary to make it (or keep it) that way.

There’s the huffs from the husband when you ask him to help. There’s the tears from the kids when you tell them, “No, your room is not even close to clean yet.” And frankly, I don’t know which I hate worse – the mess or the hassle of dealing with people who don’t get it.

But then I have to ask myself, is this how the Lord feels about my heart? Are there times when He is trying to keep it cleaned up and I am not doing my part? And the answer is, “probably.”

And in the midst of that, does God get frustrated with me? No, he offers grace.

And since I am to be like Christ, I need to offer grace as well.

So as I clean my house today (with the “help” of my children), I will remember that the grace I receive I also need to give.

(And I will continue to hope and pray that one day my children will learn how to keep their rooms clean. Before they move out of my house.)

What are the areas of your life where you need to be reminded to offer grace?

Loss of Perspective and Getting it Back

 

Remember last week when I talked about Perspective? Well, I lost mine today. It always works that way. There is something that I am trying to work on and then it gets challenged. And there is nothing like a crazy-busy weekend, a nearly empty bank account, a sleepless night, and 100+ temperatures to make you lose your perspective on life.

I was done. I was on the brink of tears. And then, I forgot a lunch date that I had scheduled with a friend. Which made me feel even more like a loser.

And my friend offered me grace. And lunch, a little late. And conversation. And love. And a listening ear. And an opportunity to rejoice with her.

And suddenly, I have regained some perspective.

So, in order to help gain even more, I offer the following:

  • Thank you to my sweet daughter for knowing I had a rough night and making me breakfast while I got ready for work.
  • Thank you to a good friend who not only opens her basement door and lets us come in for yoga, but also opens her heart to care for her friends, even in the midst of her busy life.
  • Thank you to the good friend who lifted my spirits over lunch today.
  • Thank you to another friend, who, without really even knowing that I was struggling today, told me to be happy on my way out the door to lunch, and threatened me with kindness if I didn’t do it.
  • Thank you to another friend who helped me care for someone this weekend by working with me to do their laundry and clean their house.
  • Thank you to friends who open their homes and lives to my family and I and for the fun conversations and laughter that we shared this weekend.

There is so much more that I have to be thankful for, but these are the things that rise to the top from the last 48 hours or so. I am blessed, and I know it. But sometimes it is easy to forget it, which is why we just need to put it in writing or speak it out loud at times.

So, what are you thankful for today? Do you need to do something to bring some perspective into your day? If so, do it. You won’t regret it.

Food and Fitness Fridays

If you know me (or have read this blog much), you know that I am on a continual journey to be healthy, spirit, mind and body. I exercise regularly, watch what I eat, and fill my mind with truth. In most of my Monday and Thursday posts, I am sharing with you ideas and things that I have learned (and am learning) in my spiritual life. And I have occasionally shared about my physical challenges as well.

Recently, I made a big decision to follow a whole foods, plant-based diet. It wasn’t a snap decision, it is one I have been thinking and ruminating on for 6-9 months, but when I finally decided, I jumped in with both feet. Needless to say, I am learning a lot very quickly, but it is a pretty steep learning curve. Fortunately, I have friends who are further down the path than me, as well as one good friend who jumped in about the same time as I did, so we are learning together.

In addition to learning new ways to think about eating and preparing food, I am also learning how that affects my running and how to make sure I am getting all that I need to be adequately fueled every day.

I know that I am not the only one who is working to be healthy on all fronts, so I decided that I would add Food and Fitness Fridays to my blog. Each Friday I will talk about recipes, challenges, things I am learning on this front, running, and who knows what else. I will share with you what I am learning, and hopefully, you will learn something, too.

So, beginning next week, I will be blogging on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays instead of Mondays and Thursdays. Tune in and we’ll see what’s in store!

Perspective

Have you ever noticed that whether the glass is half full or half empty often simply depends on your perspective?

Here’s an example: I have had a headache for 5 solid days, 24 hours a day. It isn’t terrible enough to keep me down, but it is annoying, there all the time, and I can’t always stay focused on what I am doing. This would typically be something that would drive me crazy and eventually get me to the point that I would just quit. But I have a friend who has been battling a severe headache, as in curled up in a fetal position either in her bed or a hospital bed, for six weeks now, with no light at the end of the tunnel. Makes my little headache not an issue at all. Instead, every time I am distracted by the pain in my head, I use it as an opportunity to pray for her.

Or what about this: as I drive to work (or home) it is so hot that the A/C in my van never gets cool. I could be annoyed, but when I think about all the people who have to work outside in this heat, or who do not have a cool place to stay, I have to instead be thankful that I have a cool home and a cool job.

We all have a way of looking at things in our lives. We all have a tendency to see through self-centered eyes at times. But we also all have the potential to look at our circumstances from a different perspective, if we so choose.

What expectations do we place on others, purposely or not, because we are only seeing things from our perspective? How are we affecting our relationships when we constantly want everyone else to see things from our perspective? Where could we grow if only we were willing to see things differently?

This is also true when we experience things in our lives that we don’t understand and begin to question God about it. He says in Isaiah 55:8-9

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

God’s perspective is an eternal perspective, where our perspective is based on the here and now. He is looking at us as part of His creation and how He can use what happens to us, good and bad, (the bad not caused by God, but brought about by the fact that we live in a fallen world where the evil one is at work), for His glory.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I sometimes often get caught up in what’s going on in my life and frustrated by what I see. But that is only because I can’t see what God sees. The moment I begin to acknowledge that fact, my whole perspective (and subsequently, attitude) changes.

So, my challenge for you (and me) today is to begin viewing my life through God’s eyes, and realizing that His perspective much better than mine, even if I can’t see the whole picture.

What’s an area in which you need to change your perspective today?