Author: Chrisy

It’s Not My Fault!

Yesterday I had an argument with my son. Well, it was a joking around argument. He came upstairs in jeans that were getting too short and I told him to stop growing. He said, “it’s not my fault.” We then continued to yell that back and forth at one another for a few minutes. (He turns 8 tomorrow and is a bit excited about hitting that milestone. I, on the other hand, while excited to see the boy he is becoming, am realizing that he’s growing up way too fast!) This morning, it was a shirt that the sleeves were too short. I again told him to stop growing. He again told me it wasn’t his fault and we had a nice little laugh.

As I was sitting in church yesterday, I was thinking about that argument. And the fact that in a sense, he is right. It isn’t his “fault” that he continues to grow up. It’s the way he is made. It is how we have all been created. We grow up. Whether we want to or not. He can’t help it that he keeps outgrowing his clothes. He can’t change the fact that he doesn’t want to play with baby toys anymore, but instead wants to play with legos and Nintendo DS games. It’s a natural process, growing up, both in stature and in mental/cognitive ways.

But in some ways I think we can either help or stunt our growth. If we don’t eat well as a youngster, we may not grow to our potential. In the same way, if we don’t feed our spiritual selves well as adults and as Christians, we won’t grow to the potential that Christ has for us. We may continue to grow in little ways, but without some effort on our part, we may stunt our spiritual growth. And this growth process happens as we spend time with the Lord and His Word on our own, certainly, but it also happens as we spend time with others who can speak into our growth. This can happen as we meet with a small group of people on a regular basis. Or a mentor/spiritual guide occasionally. For me, one aspect that has been missing is some one on one time with a friend, going through a book and really talking about the implications of that on my/our life/lives. It’s pretty easy for me to read a book and get convicted or encouraged about certain things, but without someone asking, “so what does that mean for you and how are you going to implement that?” it is also easy to just stay at convicted or encouraged and not take any action to make changes that lead to more spiritual growth.

So, beginning this week, I will be meeting with a friend each Wednesday to talk about those kinds of issues. The first book that we are going to tackle is Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream, and we’ll see what kind of growth we can encourage in one another. Because I don’t want it to be my fault that I don’t grow into the person the God has created me to be.

How are you feeling about your growth these days?

Miscellaneous Musings 2

In the last two weeks it has been very evident that I haven’t had a lot of substantial ideas running around in my head because I haven’t been able to blog! I apologize to you, my readers, for being so inconsistent, and I promise to get better starting now. So, here comes another hodge podge of ideas that have been running around in my head.

  1. Giving truly is better than receiving. I have a wonderful husband who pretty much lets me have just about anything I want (within reason). He never asks for anything for himself, and says that he has all he needs. A number of years ago he traded in his truck so I could have a van. This week the Lord has provided an opportunity for me to bless him with a truck. Yes, it is old, it isn’t beautiful, but it is a truck (and it is a manual transmission – something he loved in his old truck), and he will be able to have it before deer season. I have had so much fun working out the details and figuring out ways that I can pay for the truck outside of our regular income, so that it truly can be a gift for him from me.
  2. When God opens the door to do something new and you walk through it willingly, He blesses it in multiple ways. When I started thinking about coaching the Jr. Comets cheerleaders, I knew it was a huge commitment but really felt like I was supposed to do it. Even in the midst of giving them every Tuesday and Thursday evening and 10-12 hours every Saturday for the last two months, not once have I felt overwhelmed. Not once have I wished I didn’t have to go. Not once have I wanted to quit. I have loved every minute of coaching, playing, cheering, and getting to know this wonderful group of girls. They have been eager learners, ready to try new things and listen to what I have to teach them. While I am looking forward to a little more free time after the next two weeks are over, I will miss spending time with these girls and will be counting down the days to next summer and fall when I get to do it all over again! Thanks to the Lord for His guidance, His help, and His blessing on this endeavor.
  3. I have been reading through Romans recently in my devotional time before bed. I’ve read it before, but I wanted to read it again. Wow. I have been bombarded by the richness of Paul’s words to the Romans over and over. The reminders of God’s faithfulness to us, His gift of grace, our responsibility to obey, and so much more. Last night it was chapter 6, verse 22 that really caught me, “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.” It reminded me of a sermon my pastor preached early on in his time here about ear piercing. He told us how, in Old Testament times, when a slave was freed they could make a choice to stay with their master and when they did, the master would pierce their ears to show that they chose to stay. Christy Nockels has a song that really talks about this. Here is what she writes about the song:

07. My Master
My dad has been a pastor for as long as I can remember. One of my favorite messages that he used to share was from Exodus 21: 1-6. It’s about Hebrew slaves and the process they would go through with their masters after they had served their time. Basically, upon the 7th year, they could go free, or choose to stay. He would tell about the process of the Hebrew slave choosing to stay with their master, even after they were free to go. The slave would publicly go before the community and declare, “I love my master, I will not go free”. Then, their ear would be pierced, and the blood would signify a lasting covenant with their master…one made by choice and for all to hear. He beautifully tied this to our relationship with Jesus, our Master, and reminded us that the disciples often would call themselves “bond slaves” of Christ. We have a will, but when we choose to align ours with His, this brings true freedom and love like we’ve never known. After he shared this message one night, he felt led to have our church respond in a very unique way… That night many of us lined the aisles of that old church and took the hand of one of the leaders and publicly confessed, “I love my Master, I will not go free”. As a teen, that had a great impact on me as those words came from my heart and my mouth, and it still does to this day… Serving and calling Jesus “Master” doesn’t’ seem to be a real popular thing in this world to have rolling around in your vocabulary and in your everyday life. However, I am compelled to tell of the joy and freedom I have experienced in serving my Master. I will tell of His mighty ways, drawing near to Him and remembering what He has saved me from! Of this, I will forever sing!

You can take a listen to the song here. I included the lyrics below.

The day You heard my plea,
You looked right through me
You saw the pit I was in
And You came and pulled me out…

You set my feet upon a rock
And put a new song in my mouth
Then You called me Your own
And I’m never turning back

I love my Master, I will not go free…
I take Your name and live in liberty
My life is Yours forever
I’ll serve You faithfully
I love my Master, I will not go free…

You’re a love I’ve never known
And Your faithfulness has shown
No matter what I’m about
You always find me out

And You lovingly remain
Age to age the same
And for all of my days
I will tell of Your ways..Your mighty ways…

Covenant Keeper
You are, You are
Merciful, Kindness
You are, You are
Passionate Father
You are, You are
Lifeblood redeemer
You are…

For us, it seems foreign to talk about living in freedom and yet choosing to serve a Master, but in the Kingdom, there are many paradoxes that don’t seem to our eyes and our minds (that are so influenced by the culture in which we live) to be “right.” But, we are called to live in this world, but not be of it. We are called to live lives that are counter-cultural. So really, this is where it starts. Choosing to serve the Master.

What do you think?

Reboot

As a church administrator, I get a lot of computer questions, most of which are some kind of problem that needs to be fixed. By default, my first response is always, “Have you restarted the computer?” Most of the staff have heard me say this enough that now, instead of responding, “I’ll try that,” their response is, “Yes.”

Sometimes technology just needs to be rebooted. I had to reboot my phone just this morning because it somehow froze up while doing a back-up of my contact list. My computer ran some updates over the weekend and before they could “finish” installing, the computer needed to restart.  Every now and then one of the AC units at the church has a glitch and all I have to do is turn it off and back on and that takes care of the problem.

Lately, I have felt like I need to have a “reboot” in a couple of areas of my life.

First, I have now lost 49 pounds and in addition to the scale not moving for a couple of weeks, I have been having some other weird things happening in my body. Since the end of the Biggest Loser competition, I have let a few sweets sneak back into my diet occasionally, have not been quite as over the top on my exercise, and have made excuses for not being as careful about what is going into my mouth. It seems like a reboot back to the beginning of the competition and what I was doing at that point has become necessary, both to get my body back in order and to get my focus back on the goal. I have 34 more pounds to lose and I don’t want to stop now, or worse, go backwards. So today I am starting the reboot process. Back to eating my everyday breakfast, heavily weighted with veggies lunch, and reasonable dinner, and nothing after 7:00 p.m. Back to seven days a week, sometimes twice a day exercising. Back to being careful to weigh and measure what goes into my mouth instead of just “guessing.” And I am going to go through my closet tonight and clear out all the clothing that is too big. Hopefully that will inspire me to keep working hard at losing.

Second, I have been struggling to find make time for prayer and devotions. Mornings had always been my best time, but because my workouts now take longer than they used to (and I don’t necessarily want to get up at 4:00 a.m.), that time is not always available. By the time I get home of an evening, there are so many things that need to be done, that it isn’t on my radar to sit down with my Bible. And yet, as soon as I climb in bed I can pick up the book I am reading for pleasure and spend 30-60 (or more) minutes reading it before I go to sleep. So, beginning tonight, my Bible will be sitting on top of my book next to my bed and it will get my attention first. If I finish my devotion and prayer time and still have time (and am awake enough) to read, then I can pick up my book.

There’s probably more, but I’m not sure it is wise to try to “reboot” too many things at once, some might not start again at all. 🙂

How about you? Any areas of your life that could use a reboot? If you say yes, make and implement a plan to get it done.

Child Labor

6Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  –Proverbs 22:6

It is one of my goals in life to raise my children, particularly my son, in such a way that my future daughter-in-law (or son-in-law) doesn’t hate me. In other words, when both my daughter and my son leave home, I expect them to be able to cook, clean, do laundry, pick up after themselves, fix minor household problems, keep the household “books,” etc. In my house, there is no line of women’s work and men’s work.

When Mike and I first got married there was a definite “unspoken” line. And asking him to clean the bathroom crossed it. We have worked through those issues (mostly), but I want to make sure that we aren’t the cause of another generation of misguided gender issues, particularly regarding housework.

So, I was a bit surprised as I was discussing this with some friends recently when I felt chastised for teaching my daughter and son how to do their own laundry at the ages of 10 and almost 8. And expecting them to make their own lunch for school if they want to take it. The reason given for not doing these things was, “it’s too much work to go behind them and clean up the mess,” and “I’m too anal about the way I like things done.”  And yet, all I could think was 1) I don’t have time to do everything for my kids; 2) I don’t want my kids to see me as some kind of maid that does everything for them; 3) how will they ever learn to do it right and well if you never let them do it; and 4) if I, Miss OCD herself, can learn to let some stuff go for the betterment of my kids, anyone can :).

Yes, it is a super-big pain in the rear to constantly have to walk around and remind them to put the bread and peanut butter away. I do sometimes think it would be easier (and I am tempted to come in behind them) to clean the bathroom myself. I get annoyed when they don’t put their laundry away in the right places. And I would love it for their rooms to be clean all the time without having to go in and point out the places they have missed. But I feel like I wouldn’t be doing them any favors by doing it for them. And I would be setting myself up to be hated by my future daughter- and son-in-law.

When we read the verse that I put at  the top of this post, much of the time we think in terms of raising children up to live life for Christ, which I believe is true and very important, but I also believe that it is true about the stuff we encounter in everyday life as well. And I think there is a feeling that there will always be time to teach them those things. But to me, the truth of the matter is I only have so many years where I am the primary influence in my children’s life before their peers start taking over that spot. I only have so much time before they start spending more time away from the house than in it and I feel very strongly that by teaching them responsibility at a young age, it helps them as they grow up to accept new responsibilities as they encounter them.

Would I like my house to be cleaner than they get it when they clean? Yes! But not at the expense of  them not learning to clean.

Would I like my counters not covered in crumbs, peanut butter, jelly, pancake batter and other various food items? Yes!  But not at the expense of them not learning to cook.

Would I like it if there weren’t items of clothing on the floor by the washer and their clothes were not so wrinkled? Yes! But not at the expense of them not learning how to do laundry properly.

So, here’s what I would like from you on today’s post: where do you fall on the spectrum? Do you do it all for your kids? Are  your kids expected to do everything themselves? Or do you fall somewhere in between? Is 10 and 8 too young to be doing laundry and mopping floors? If your kids are grown, how did you handle these things? If you don’t have kids, how do you think you would handle these things? Let’s start a discussion in the comments  section below. I will moderate comments, so be kind. 🙂

Bad Day, Good God

Yesterday, I felt a bit bi-polar. I woke up to find that my scale hit the number that was my first of two weight-loss goals. I was ecstatic!

Then, after I picked up my lunch and was on my way home to eat it, “BAM” (literally). I had a car accident. And it was my fault. They were in my blind spot on the van and I pulled out when I didn’t see them. Fortunately there were no injuries and the damage is minor, but that brought me crashing down and I cried (sobbed, bawled, etc.) off and on for hours. By myself. In front of an amazing friend who showed up without being asked (you know who you are – THANK YOU!). With my husband as I told him about it. And by myself some more.

As I continued through my day, it seemed like every little thing that could go wrong kind of did and because of the accident (and subsequent ticket – the first one for me EVER), everything felt bigger than it was. By bedtime I was just feeling like it was a terrible day.

And then I was reminded this morning that I did reach my first weight loss goal yesterday, and that is a great accomplishment. No one was hurt in the accident, and that was an amazing picture of God’s protection. I was reminded what amazing friends that God has given me who came when I needed someone, and also let me be when I needed to not talk about it. I got my house spotlessly clean in my effort to work off my frustration, and that is a weight off my shoulders.

I’m sure as the rest of the story unfolds with money, insurance, etc., there will be many more things for me to learn from this experience, but for now, I am just reminded that God uses all of life to teach us and mold us into the people he has created us to be. I sang this song in my head quite a bit yesterday – “This is the stuff You use.”

What is God using in your life lately to shape you, good or bad?

I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please ‘Cuz I can’t find my phone

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that’s getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I’m blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You’re doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35
Sirens and fines while I’m running behind
Whoa

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that’s getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I’m blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You’re doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I’ve got a new appreciation
It’s not the end of the world
Oh Oh Oh

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I’m blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I’ve gotta trust You know exactly what You’re doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

Oh Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff You use

Just Keep Swimming…

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. –James 1:2-4

14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky… –Philippians 2:14-15

I have learned many things over the years, as we all have. One of the things I learned last fall and have been reminded of this fall is this: it doesn’t matter how nice the weather has been all week, or even how nice the weather is at your house on Saturday, when you step onto the football field, it will be miserably hot. This past Saturday was no exception to that rule. It was hot and sunny with nary a cloud in the sky.

I knew Saturday would be a test as to whether what I have been talking about with the cheerleaders – doing what is best for the team, persevering even when it is hard, not thinking about yourself – has been sinking in at all.

I am happy to report, IT HAS!! I have to brag on the girls, they did an amazing job. There was very little complaining. One girl tried to stick it out (probably a little too long) despite the fact that she felt sick. They cheered, they smiled, they sweated, they looked like they were wilting in the heat at times, but they finished the day.

It definitely kept me going, as I was fighting a stomach bug and had to be out in the heat and sun for over seven hours.

But, as  I have been thinking about this, I have been thinking about the various areas of my life and wondering if I am persevering as well in those places. Places like finances, parenting, devotions, marriage, work, etc. Do I keep going even when it is hard, or do I give in to the temptation to quit, or even just let myself  coast and not put in the effort to rise to the level I know I can. In other words, am I practicing what I am preaching?

That is a hard question to answer. I would have to say “sometimes, but not always.” There are days that I push through no matter what and there are days that I just give up. But I don’t want to give up, because I don’t want to miss out on being “mature and complete, not lacking anything.” And that is something I need to remember on this Monday morning when I am tired, worn down, sore, and not feeling well. I have to keep going and persevere no matter what.

Or like Dorie sings in Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”

What areas of your life do you find it hard to persevere?

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I shocked myself a bit yesterday. Since the end of the Biggest Loser competition, I haven’t been bad, but I haven’t been as strict about what I have been eating and I have been feeling guilty about it, but not guilty enough to try harder. Then, yesterday morning as I was standing in front of my mirror getting ready for work, I remembered a picture I had taken of myself a few years back when I first started exercising again. It is a picture that immediately after printing it out, I deleted it off of the camera and the computer so the only copy in existence is in my bathroom upstairs. I did have it hanging up in my make-up cabinet, but the tape tore so lately it has been sitting on the top of the cabinet and I haven’t looked at it for months. This picture of overweight me in my undergarments was used to inspire me to stay active and watch what I ate. It worked for a while, but then it fell down and I shoved it on top of the cabinet. Well, yesterday I pulled it down and compared it to the image of myself I saw staring back in the mirror. And boy was I shocked. I had no idea what a difference 45 pounds can make. I had no idea just how round my face had been, not to mention other areas. Yes, I have been realizing that my clothes are way too big and I am down two clothing sizes, but to actually see the difference was shocking, amazing, and inspiring.

I am over half way to my goal and that look in the mirror yesterday was part of what I needed to get back on track. The other part was walking with a couple of my BL(a)’s this morning and hearing them talk about the fact that they have been struggling since the end of the competition, too. We all are realizing this week that we let our guards down and fell off the wagon a bit, but we all also realize that we have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and climb back on because we don’t want to go back to where we were. We want to keep moving forward.

Add this to the fact that everyday this week I have had at least one person, and usually more than one, tell me how good I am looking, how I am glowing (not in a pregnancy kind of way-thank God!), how I am drop-dead gorgeous (yes, someone used those words), and so on, and it encourages me to keep going, stay strong, eat well, and get out of bed to exercise even when I am exhausted.

So what happens today when I am determined to stay strong? A tin of Danish butter cookies was delivered with our Quill order to the church. I love Danish butter cookies. And I want to eat the whole tin. But I asked God for strength to avoid them. And every time I was tempted to get up and get one, someone was in the hallway or the workroom, which completely deterred me from picking up a cookie. God definitely answered my prayer by using the fact that I have told people I am not eating sweets and carbs and thus I didn’t want anyone to see me eating a cookie. 🙂 Maybe that reveals something else about me that needs work, but I didn’t eat the cookies!

I added some pictures of me to this post. The first one was taken about the time I was at my heaviest, the second one in early June, right after starting the Biggest Loser competition, the third one part way through the summer, and the last one two weeks ago at our victory celebration. (No, I am not including the picture of me in my skivvies – no one gets to see that one.) It’s pretty neat to see the changes just in my face over the last few months. Here’s to more changes to come!

What changes do you want to see in your life right now? How can you document those changes as they happen to keep you going?

It’s Muddy

Some days my head is muddy. Today is one of those days. It’s not muddy because I’m tired or overwhelmed. It’s muddy because I have so many thoughts running around that are stirring stuff up and making the waters of my brain a little muddy. And as you know, when water is muddy, you can’t see through it. What I desperately need right now is clarity and I don’t have it.

What has me so muddy? Apparently there is more to learn about the selfishness vs. selflessness that I wrote about last week. And about choices we make – both knowingly and unknowingly. And how we handle (or avoid) conflict as adults. And how we speak truthfully and lovingly without hurting someone’s feelings. And how we determine when we have done all we can and the problem lies with someone else and not us. And what we do if the problem is us. And so much more that I cannot even begin to put into words.

I’m thinking about the Christ that leaves the 99 sheep to find the one that is lost.

I’m thinking about the Christ who tells us to settle disputes quickly and be reconciled.

I’m thinking about the Christ who humbled Himself, even to the point of dying on a cross, for people who didn’t (and don’t) deserve it.

I’m thinking about the Christ who calls us to speak the truth in love, not sugar coat it or avoid it.

I’m thinking about the Christ who pointed out incorrect thinking to the Pharisees.

I’m thinking about the Christ who spent His time with the “least of these.”

I’m thinking about the Christ who is love.

I don’t have much of a take-away for you, my readers, today except this: we have to struggle with our questions and ask them of the Christ who is always listening and then we have to sit and listen for the answer, which doesn’t necessarily come in the way or time that we expect. So today, I will stay muddy for a while longer and wait for Christ to calm the waters and bring clarity.

Where are you needing clarity in your life today?

Hooray?

This day elicits many different responses from many different people:

  • Shouts of joy
  • Sighs of relief
  • Bouts of tears
  • All of the above and everything in between.

No, the Cards and Cubs are not playing ball today – it is the first day of school.

I have friends who have been counting down the days since the first day of summer vacation, and others who have been dreading this day. From first-time kindergarteners to last-time seniors in high school (and beyond), parents all over the country are finding themselves in the midst of some back-to-school related emotion.

This day is always a confusing one for me. I love my kids. I love having them around. I love the freedom that summer affords. I love being able to have lunch with them in the middle of my work day. I will miss all those things. But I also love routine. And I love peace and quiet for an hour at lunch. And I love earlier bed times and quiet time either alone or with my husband more regularly. And let’s face it, the house stays much cleaner when they are at school all day as opposed to at home all day.

What is really hard for me about this day is the reminder that time is passing. Quickly. It seems like it was just yesterday that Anne was a baby and now here she is going into fifth grade. And I have been convinced all along that my baby will never grow up and yet today Ty began school as a second grader.

My mom always told me that the older you get the faster time goes. I didn’t believe her then, but I do now. These precious moments with my kids at home are short and few and I have to take advantage of the time we have together to teach them and love on them and have fun with them. Which is precisely why I took the day off yesterday just to spend with them doing and seeing what they wanted to at the zoo. It was a magical day (not in the there was no fighting or whining kind of way – that would be a fantasy), but just in the way we were together and enjoyed the company of one another. And while I wish all days could be like that, it is important that they spend time away from me at school so that at some point they are able to move on and become adults.

Thus the confusion of the day which comes with the paradoxes inherent in raising children. So I just embrace the moment (and my kids) and enjoy the ride. Because even though it can be a bit bumpy, it’s worth it.

Where are you at on the range of emotions if you sent kids to school today?

It’s Not About Me? Really?

If you have ever read The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, you know that the very first sentence in chapter one is “It’s not about you.” For most people these days, that is a turn-your-world-upside-down kind of phrase. We live in a culture where everything is about the individual and what is best for “me.” It affects family life, group dynamics, and how we view every situation we find ourselves in. It is the downfall of many marriages. It is the demise of friendships. What it all comes down to can be summed up in one word.

Selfishness.

It’s interesting when you know something like this, try hard to live in an unselfish way, and then get bombarded with the idea all over again.

Many of you know that this year I am coaching the Jr. Comets Cheerleaders. This group of a few fourth grade girls, but mostly fifth, sixth and seventh grade girls has been great fun for me so far this season. We are learning cheers, learning about one another, and learning what it means to be part of a group. Each Thursday before our Saturday games, I am planning to have a short pow-wow with the girls to talk about the game and important information for them to know, as well as some kind of teaching about what it means to be a team. Last week, I was planning to talk about one thing, but when the time came, what came out of my mouth was all about this very subject, a hard one for pre-teen girls to understand, but a necessary one to learn. And then Sunday morning, Pastor Greg shared some thoughts learned from the FMY bike trip and guess what? More of the same. (You can listen to his sermon here.)

Now, I know it has been on my mind because of the girls and wanting them to understand how important it is to put others first, particularly when you are part of a team, but when I start hearing the same thing from multiple sources at different times, I also have to take notice and start to wonder if I need to hear it, as well.

So I have been examining my motives. Thinking about why I do the things I do. And so far, while I haven’t found anything glaring, I have noticed some selfish tendencies that I have. So I am going to keep watch. And I’m going to try to shift my way of thinking. And I am going to continue to try to teach my kids, and my cheerleaders, to be selfless rather than selfish. And hopefully I will learn more along the way, too.

Are you feeling selfish or selfless today?