Author: Chrisy

Contrasts

Last night and this morning I have been watching my daughter, Anne, be the camp know-it-all to her brother, Ty, as he was preparing for his first adventure to Trailblazer Camp at Durley. She kept trying to tell him what he needed to take, what to expect, and otherwise boss him around, but he was not the least bit interested in what she had to say. He wanted to have his own adventure, learn his way, and not hear her second-hand stories and advice. And then as I stood in line this morning waiting to sign him in, I was struck by the many contrasts that I see in my kids.

  • Standing in line with Anne is pretty non-eventful. She may walk over to some friends, hug, chat, or whatever, and then walk back to me. Standing in line with Ty is a completely different story. I never know where he is, I have to take his umbrella away because it is being used as a light saber/poker/bat/etc. I have to remind him to give his friend’s hat back multiple times. I have to remind him he is in line with me and not the friends in front of or behind us. And for Ty, walking never happens, but running, skipping, jumping and tight-rope walking does.
  • Packing with Anne is somewhat systematic. She has laid her clothing neatly in piles by day, and calmly helps me put it in the suitcase. When packing with Ty, you almost need full catcher gear as he will throw you everything that needs to go in the suitcase.
  • When I leave Anne at camp (or anywhere for that matter), I am not concerned that she may drive the adults in charge completely insane. She may get wound up a little, but knows her boundaries and limits. Leaving Ty, (and a few of his closest buddies) with their counselor this morning elicited a round of “we’ll be praying for you” from the moms to the counselor. These boys will bounce off the walls, will rough house with the best of them, and will never intentionally do something they aren’t supposed to, but can be a bit impulsive at times. So my concerns for Ty include whether or not he will get in trouble, injure himself or someone else, and whether or not I will have to pay for psychiatric help for his counselor at the end of three days.
  • While Anne was gone at camps much of the last two weeks, Ty and I have been swimming, gone for walks, taken naps, played outside, and helped out at Panther Academy (ok I helped and he ran around the gym like a little boy.) I am guessing that my days with Anne this week will also include things like swimming, walks, and naps, but on a much calmer level (yes, even naps will be calmer without Ty around). And I would guess I won’t have to remind her to sit down on the couch instead of standing and jumping on it when we decide to watch something on TV.

I love the gift that God has given to us in Anne and Ty and I love getting to see the many contrasts between boy and girl, first-born and second-born, and looks like Mom, acts like Dad introvert and looks like Dad, acts like Mom extrovert. And I love the fact that God uses my kids all the time to teach me things – particularly Ty – who teaches me about spontaneity, going with the flow, and the fact that 7-year-old boys are not physically able to sit still.

What are some of the contrasts between your kids or between you and your sibling(s)?

Pay Attention

I have been reading a new book called Nudge: Awakening Each Other to the God Who’s Already There by Leonard Sweet. It is a really good book about paying attention to God’s work in and through our lives and it has had me thinking (and preaching) about a few things. Here’s a smattering of those thoughts. (All quotations are from this book.)

Being able to see and to point out where God is at work is of great importance when it comes to our faith and encouraging the faith of others, but also of great importance, maybe even more so, is simply that in order to partner with God to bring love and redemption to this world, we have to be able to see where He is at work so we can join Him in that work. We have to see Him to be able to follow Him.

So, why don’t we see Him at work?

Probably the first that comes to mind is we simply aren’t looking for Him. We aren’t choosing to be aware of His presence in our lives. We see what we choose to see. I don’t know how many times I will tell Anne or Ty to go get something and they can’t find it. The item is usually in plain sight, but they are so sure that it isn’t there and can’t be found that they don’t find it. In essence they are choosing not to see it. The same thing happens with God. We aren’t convinced that He is at work, so we don’t really look for signs of His presence. We may say we are waiting to hear from God, and the answer may be staring us in the face, but we don’t see it because we aren’t really looking.

Sometimes we don’t see God because even though we are looking, we aren’t looking in the right places. We are looking where we think He will show up based on our expectations, but not where He actually is. God doesn’t appear when and where we expect Him to. When we set our own expectations of God and then don’t see those met, we tend to give up on Him. In contrast, “when we live expectantly, we are living with the hope and the expectation that Christ will come through, but we’ve left the terms open. Living expectantly means always being aware of Christ in us, yet waiting for the how, when, where and why to come…” Some examples of this would be the way we choose to see God in church, but not in a song on country radio. We choose to see God in the Bible, but not in a secular novel. We give God our attention in certain situations, but He is in all situations if we will be open to hearing Him.

Another reason we don’t see Him is if we aren’t receptive to Him so we don’t recognize Him. That could be because we don’t have enough of a relationship with Him to recognize Him.

Sometimes we don’t see God because we are willing to settle for the idea of Him rather than the real thing. Karl Barth tells a story about riding a streetcar in his “home city of Basel, Switzerland. He took a seat next to a tourist, and the two men started chatting with one another. “Are you new to the city?” Barth inquired. “Yes.” said the tourist. “Is there anything you would particularly like to see in the city?” asked Barth. “Yes,” said the tourist, “I would like to meet the famous Swiss theologian Karl Barth. Do you know him?” Barth answered, “As a matter of fact, I do know him. I give him a shave every morning.” The tourist got off the streetcar at the next stop, quite delighted with himself. He went back to his hotel and told everyone, “I met Karl Barth’s barber today.” This is an example of how we “sit next to Christ all the time and yet fail to see that it is really Jesus Himself,” because we are willing to settle for something less.

Sometimes we don’t see Jesus just because He doesn’t make himself easy to see. It may be that we are prevented from seeing Him or it may be that He needs us to WANT to see Him.

There are probably many more reasons why we miss Him, but what we really need to know is how to see Him.

First, we have to want to see Him. We have to choose to open our eyes to His presence. He doesn’t enter where He isn’t invited. Remember, we see what we choose to see, so if we choose to see Jesus, we will. But isn’t easy to see and understand God at work. We have to try.

Then, we have to be awakened to the fact that God is already here—even if we haven’t recognized or seen Him. He is with us always. Our eyes must be trained to look for certain things—in our lives and the lives of others—that signify God at work. We have the ability—we just have to use it. In Nudge,  the author says this, “Suddenly there it is: the world. I’m connected to the far reaches of the planet…All I need is the right apparatus, the right wireless card (or radio or tv or whatever) that can “connect” me with what was always there but was invisible and unavailable until the receiver was activated.” God is, was, and will always be here and active, we just have to activate our receivers. We have to pay attention.

We have to look all around—past and present to see God at work. We have to pay attention retrospectively in addition to being present in the moment. “We can do post game analysis and become more aware and more tuned in to what God is doing and the way God reveals himself in circumstances if we see backward. Most of us first see God after the fact. We live forward; we understand backward.” I am sure we can all remember times when we didn’t see God’s presence until after the fact. The poem Footprints in the Sand, would be an example of that. Sometimes we will see God best as we look back.

Once we do see Him, we will want more. ”One of the worst aspects of drug addiction—crack, meth, heroin—is that once you’ve experienced it, you can’t ever “unknow” it. The same principle applies to Christ’s love and His kingdom” and His presence. Once we have had a taste of Christ at work in our lives, we want more of it.

Christ is alive—He is risen and sent His Spirit to be with us and work in and through us. This isn’t a story that is over and passed, but a continuing one. And this “evidence of God’s immanent presence ought to be capable of breaking in on us each day the way air and light and sound do if only we know of what to look and listen for.”

My challenge for you this week is to start each day asking God to open your eyes so that you can see Him at work and then to walk through your day expecting to see God at work in unexpected places. Don’t put Him in a box, just open yourself up and pay attention to see Him in His time and in His way.

How have you seen God at work in your life recently?

Scissors, Locks, and Smiles

A number of years ago I had let my hair grow out pretty long and decided that I would get it cut and donate it to Locks of Love. It wasn’t something that was premeditated, I just wanted a new “do” and had enough hair to donate, and since I have a cousin whose daughter has a disorder that means she doesn’t grow hair and has to wear a wig, it made sense for me to do it. I loved doing it, but never planned to do it again.

Until about two years ago. It was then that my daughter, Anne, decided she would like to grow her hair out and donate it and that we should do it together. I didn’t want to grow my hair that long again, but when your daughter is thinking about others and wants to do something like that, you say “YES, I would love to do that with you!” I don’t remember when that initial conversation took place, all I know is it seems to have taken a VERY long time to grow our hair out. And for about the last two months, I have been ready to cut mine off. It was too long. It was making me too hot. I was complaining about it. A lot.

And then I would think about why we were doing it. There are so many kids that face diseases like cancer and other disorders who don’t have hair. At all. And I am complaining because I have too much. NOT very cool of me.

So, when the time came this past Saturday, I was nearly jumping up and down in excitement that I could cut it off. But that isn’t what I ended up being most happy about. It was amazing to watch my daughter as she prepared to let Fay cut her hair and the smile on her face as she held our ponytails knowing that they were going to kids who needed hair. My daughter, at 10 1/2 years old, is getting it. She is understanding what it means to give of herself for those in need. And this is just one of the ways that I am seeing that come through her. And I love that. And I love her. And as awesome as it is to have shorter hair again, it pales in comparison to how awesome it is to have a daughter that loves God and all His children.

Way to go, Anne!

A Spectacular Week of Nothing Much

You may have noticed that I didn’t blog twice last week. Not even once. And that was because I was gone from home spending the week with my kids at Durley Family Camp.

This is the one thing that my kids look forward to each summer – spending a week in a cabin with many friends nearby in their cabins, a beach at the lake, late night games like Mission Impossible, and FREEDOM (in other words, they can run around all over the property with minimal parental involvement; as long as I know where they are going, they are good)!

I look forward to Family Camp for many of the same reasons that they do, lots of friends nearby to talk with, late night card games in the adults only party tent, and FREEDOM (in other words, no kids hanging on me in the 90+degree heat)!

We love getting to worship together each morning and evening (it takes the kids a couple of days to get used to sitting through the evening service, but Sean and Rebecca Gladding did a great job of involving the kids throughout the week using art). We love getting to eat together with one another and with all our friends, old and new, throughout the week. We love the campground and all the encounters with nature (although, being dive-bombed by cicadas was NOT my favorite.) It is just a wonderful week of play, fellowship, worship, and not much else.

One of the bonuses of this week – NO TV, NO DS, NO WHINING ABOUT BEING BORED. (Yes, there is some whining towards the end of the week when exhaustion sets in; but since the kids are usually not with me, I don’t have to listen to much, if any of it.)

And I made it the entire week without my laptop and without spending time on Facebook (with the exception of messaging one person for camp-related purposes).

So what did we do on Saturday when we were back home? The kids watched TV and played their DS games; I watched TV and gorged myself on Facebook.

I find it absolutely amazing that for an entire week, we didn’t miss electronics or media AT ALL (although my phone did come in handy checking radar a couple of times), but the minute we have access to it again, we are using it at the same rate that we were using it the week before camp.

The most interesting thing for me was that by having people around me to talk to, I didn’t feel the need to be on Facebook and have “pseudo” conversations with electronic forms of people. Real people were better. Real conversations filled me up. Immediate responses from people I love were more than enough. Getting to know someone through face to face conversation was real and genuine.

All that to say, I am not sure what to do with that realization except find ways to be with real people more often. And in the real world of busy schedules that is hard, but needed and necessary.

How would you handle an entire week without technology? What would you miss the most?

Frustration

You know that post I wrote a couple of weeks ago about Little Joys? Well, today is one of those days where I need to read it again. Instead of looking at the good today, I am frustrated about any and everything that comes my way.

I am getting frustrated while asking the question, “Why can’t people just put things back where they got them?” at home and at work.

I am getting frustrated when I see that my kids are watching TV instead of doing the “to do” list they were given, and begging for sugary snacks when I tell them they can have fruit instead, and bugging me while I am trying to make myself some healthy turkey burgers for Mike to grill with the regular hamburgers later.

I am getting frustrated when I read about the injustice of a game played at our Biggest Loser competition last night (that caused our team to lose). (You can read all about it on my friend, Stephanie Kearns’ blog.)

I am getting frustrated with issues I can’t do anything about, which makes me even more frustrated.

I know I shouldn’t be going down this path. I know I need an attitude adjustment. I know I need to be looking for the joys in the day and looking for God at work. But I’m not.

So I asked, “God, help me. Why am I doing this and what needs to change?”

And this is what I got in response:

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42 (Italics mine)

Ouch.

Ok, Lord, I get it. I need to spend more time at your feet and less looking at what’s bugging me. More time watching you, and less time watching what is (or isn’t) happening around me.

With Your help, here goes.

What frustrations do you need to let go of today?

Little Victories

Seven or eight years ago, I had to buy a bike. Anne was learning to ride her little one and I wanted to ride again. Now, I know they say you never forget how to ride a bike, but what you do forget is how HARD it is to ride a bike. Especially up hills. I remember trying to ride from my house up a particular street that happens to be a slight hill and having to get off the bike and walk it to the top of the hill. How embarrassing!

Fast forward to Sunday morning. I was out for what I am calling my “weekly Sunday morning ride” and just happened to head up that same road and pedaled to the top, no problem (this after successfully navigating a number of other, taller, longer hills on my ride that morning), and a line from one of my favorite Trisha Yearwood songs (For A While), ran through my head: “Little victories, I’ll take ’em.” And then I started to laugh. I have ridden up that hill a number of times since that first try. I have run six half-marathons since then. I have proved that I can do so much more than I ever expected. And yet, just being able to ride my bike up the hill that beat me years ago gives me a sense of victory.

So I have been thinking about that the last couple of days. There are tons of things that I could look at as “little victories.” I got out of bed this morning – that’s a little victory for my tired self today. I ate fruit and veggies instead of cookies and cake at a get-together with my friends over the weekend. I didn’t (completely) freak out when a wasp landed on me during my walk yesterday. I have managed to stay on top of my laundry for three months now. (That one might be a more than a “little” victory.)

I think we need to give ourselves a bigger pat on the back for the little victories in our days, instead of waiting for the big victories that don’t come nearly as often. When the kids clean the bathroom and it is almost “mom-clean,” that’s a little victory – they are getting there! When we leave the house in 90 degree weather to take a walk instead of staying on our couch in the nice cool AC, that’s a little victory! When we manage to get our quiet time with the Lord in at least one day in this crazy week, that’s a little victory!

When we celebrate these little victories, we are more likely to have more of them because we like how that feels.

So, what little victories will you celebrate today?

Encouragement Comes in Many Ways

Some days, you just need to be encouraged. It could be because it seems nothing is going your way. It could be because you had a tough conversation with your boss. It could be because you had another fight with your spouse. It could be because your kids are acting like raging lunatics.

Or it could be because you have been working very hard to watch very carefully what is going into your mouth in the way of food, and you have been exercising your tail off (or at least trying to) and you woke up hungry and have been fighting the urge to eat anything and everything that would be considered unhealthy the entire day.

And sometimes, encouragement comes in the most unexpected, and yet amazingly helpful ways.

A daughter of one of the team members of Bacon Lovers (anonymous) made us this picture this week:

I loved it. It brought a smile to my face. But even more so, it brought an amazing amount of encouragement to my soul.

Whatever you are dealing with right now, I pray that you are encouraged in an unexpected way today.

And remember as you go through your day, you might be someone else’s unexpected encouragement.

Just Keep Dancing

This weekend was Anne’s dance recital. She has been taking dance for a number of years and each year we see marked improvement over the previous year. We have been seeing that there is a natural talent there, and now we are staring to see that talent become more honed and disciplined. And that got me to thinking about the talents and abilities that God gives to us.

We may have a natural talent or ability that makes us good at something, but that doesn’t mean we get to stop there. We have to take what God has given to us and use it. We have to practice certain skills, we have to make an effort to not just rest in the fact that we have been given a talent, but we need to use that talent for the glory of God.

Where would a talented concert pianist be without hours and hours of rehearsal? How good would a gifted speaker be if he didn’t spend time crafting the words he speaks and speaking at events? Would Michael Phelps have been a gold medalist without training his body that was made to be good at swimming?

Not all of us are gifted with the ability to dance, but we were given special talents and abilities that are ours and we need to put in the time needed to hone and develop those talents and abilities so that we can do them well and in a way that pleases God.

What is one of your talents that could use a little extra time and energy?

A Little Bacon Never Hurt Anyone

I used to be thin.

In high school and college I exercised regularly (and had a young person’s metabolism). And then I got married. And had two kids. And while I never thought of myself as “fat” (I’m tall, so it is easier to hide the fat), I have known that I could stand to lose some weight. And back in January of 2006, while sitting in my first round of LAMP classes, God very clearly reminded me that:

19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (I Corinthians 16:19-20)

And He pointed out to me that I was doing well in honoring Him with my mind and my heart, but not very well with my body. Ouch. That hurt. A lot. Because it was true. I was eating whatever I wanted, when I wanted to. I was doing virtually no exercise at all. And I was frustrated with the way I looked, but not willing to do anything about it.

So I made a change. I started working out regularly and eating better, including completely cutting sweets out of my diet. I started running again – and I could do it for about one minute before I felt like I was dying. But I kept going and the next fall I ran my first 5K ever. (In high school I ran the 400 and 800 – I was NOT a distance runner!)

In May of 2008 I ran my first 1/2 marathon – something I NEVER thought I could (or would want to) do.

In April of 2009 I ran my 2nd 1/2 marathon; May 2010 my 3rd (with my personal best time); October 2010 my 4th; November 2010 my 5th; and I just completed my 6th one May 7, 2011.

While that may sound impressive, I’m not impressed. Yes, I have finished these 6 1/2 marathons, but each time I get a little more lax in my training. This last time, I really wanted to set a new personal record, but what started with some good excuses for not getting my training runs in (neck injury, illness), ended with some really poor excuses for not getting my training runs in (don’t want to get out of bed).

And over the last year or so, I have fallen out of my good eating habits and gone back to eating lots of sweets and snacks, eating after 7:00 p.m., etc.

I lost about 35 pounds that first year, of which I have put back on about half in the last 9 months. 🙁

Something needs to change. Again.

Last night kicked off First Christian Church’s Biggest Loser Competition. After talking with my running partner during one of our longer training runs, we decided to do it. She did it last year with great success. We joined a team full of amazing women, and for the next 12 weeks we are going to work together and encourage one another in our eating habits, our exercise habits, and our spiritual lives. We are going to train together to walk a 1/2 marathon this fall – something most of them have never done or ever thought they wanted to do.

Our team name: Bacon Lovers (Anonymous)

Our theme verse: I Corinthians 10:23 (NLT)  23 You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial.

In other words, there’s no rule that says you shouldn’t eat bacon (or sweets, or _________) by the bucket loads and sit on your couch and do nothing every evening, but that doesn’t mean it is good for you.

This is where change begins (again). And even if we don’t lose all the weight we want to in the next 12 weeks, I am guessing we’ll gain much more. Stronger friendships. Healthier attitudes about food. Leaner bodies from exercise. Deeper relationships with God. And hopefully lasting habits for healthy living.

Here we go, ladies!

How about you? What one area of your life needs attention and change and what are you going to do about it?

Character Flaws

I really don’t like that I have character flaws.

What I like even less is when those character flaws make a not only slightly noticeable, but a HUGE appearance. Never is this so true as when I am getting stressed out and need to find order somewhere. And that somewhere is typically my house. And that order I speak of is very hard to come by. Especially when I live with three other people (or slobs as I am known to call them when this particular character flaw is rearing its ugly head) who don’t care about order as much as I do.

Control. Obsession. More control. Compulsion. These are the character flaws that recently showed up again for me, and unfortunately my family, to see.

I like order. I don’t like chaos. I like organization. I don’t like mess. And when I am stressed I really need order and organization to be present in my home. And my family does not. Which becomes an issue. An ugly one. And I admit, I can get pretty ugly about it. To the point of berating, saying things in the heat of the moment that I can’t take back, and being generally mean. All because I haven’t gotten what I want – order and cleanliness.

But the real issue, (although I do need order and cleanliness) is how I handle stress, how I take on too much stuff so that I am stressed, how by controlling the house and the way it looks, I am trying to control one aspect of a life that I have in one way or another let get out of control.

Ouch. I don’t like talking about this. It’s too personal. It’s to vulnerable.

Yet when I put it out there, I am asking for help. For grace. For forgiveness.

I had to ask for forgiveness from my kids a few weeks ago for the way I handled the most recent bout of stress. I got angry and mean.

And they forgave me. Just like the Lord does when I choose to go with what I know instead of asking for His help. Just like the Lord does when He has been working on me in those areas and we have moved forward only for me to take two steps back.

I am so thankful for a God that loves me even when I mess up. I am so thankful for a God who forgives. I am so thankful for a God who keeps working on the same things in my life over and over to bring about His plan for me. And even though it is uncomfortable, I am thankful for a God who allows me to see my character flaws and how much I need His help overcoming me.

How is God building your character?