Plates are Crashing!

Have you ever seen one of those guys at a circus that spins plates on a stick? He starts with one and continues to add plates spinning and tries to keep them all going and not let any of them fall to the ground. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, visit YouTube and look up plate spinning. You’ll find lots of videos to give you an idea.)

Sometimes I feel like a plate spinner. I have so many things that are vying for my attention and I have about enough time and energy to give each of them a spin before another one is about to crash so I have to run off to make sure it doesn’t. And sometimes. Plates crash. They stop spinning and completely fall to the ground and shatter into thousands of pieces.

And what results is me, feeling like a failure.

I just can’t keep it all going. Diet. Exercise. Bills. Cleaning. Work. Parenting. Connecting with my husband. Plans for holidays. Cooking. Devotions. Reading. Knitting. Small Group. Budgeting (work and home). Friendships. Time commitments. Making sure everyone else gets what they need from me and vice versa. Drinking enough water. Laundry. Lists. Prayer. Grocery shopping. Sleep.

There are times when I am really on top of budgeting and bills, but I am eating terribly, sleeping in too late and never exercising. There are times that I am faithful with my Bible reading, but I am not investing enough time in my husband. Three are times that I am really good about connecting with my friends and giving to them, but my kids haven’t had a home-cooked meal in two weeks. And there are times when I am not doing any of it well.

And that’s where I am right now. I feel like plates are crashing around me. I am doing well with some things, but others have fallen or are about to fall. And then I start getting down on myself about it. And then more stuff falls. It becomes a downward spiral.

Until I stop it. Until I ask for help and give God control. Until I choose to pick up some of those plates. Until I give myself grace and ask for grace from others.

The reality is I really can’t do it all on my own. But I think I should be able to and that’s where I get into trouble. That’s when my attitude starts going south. That’s when I start feeling overwhelmed. But when I remember that 1) God is there and is ready to help – I just need to ask and 2) that I live in community and there are people – family, friends, etc. – that are more than willing to step in when they are aware there is a need, that’s when things get better.

If you are feeling this way today, I encourage you today to stop, take a deep breath, and ask for help – from God, from your friends, from your family. And accept their help and their grace. I know I need to.

What do you usually do when you are feeling overwhelmed with life?

Hard Times

I have had a difficult week. Not that anything in particular happened, but just one of those weeks where life seems harder than necessary and that got me to thinking about why we encounter times like that. Many people believe when they become  Christians that it means the end of pain and suffering and it is going to be wonderful from that point on in their lives. So when life doesn’t change or it feels like the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, where the first 3/4 of the movie shows anything but wonderful stuff, they are disillusioned and say it’s not what they signed up for and want to quit before they get to the end, where, like in the movie, we’ll get to see just how much we are loved and how much we have learned and grown through the tough stuff.

But the reality is, God never promised us a life without trouble. He offered it to Adam and Eve, but they chose not to obey the one rule that said “don’t”, and since then, we’ve all had to live with the fact that we live in a fallen world. And on top of that, if we read the Bible, we hear Jesus tell us things like, “Blessed are the persecuted for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad because great is your reward in heaven;” and “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me.” It sounds to me as if Christ knew that life wouldn’t be all roses, and that He was telling us there would be hard times and that we should expect them.

So when these hard times come, regardless of why, we have to remember that we have a choice about our response. I heard a story once of a boy who grew up in more than 20 foster homes, and never knew his real parents, yet is incredibly healthy and successful. When asked why he said, “when something happens to you, you have two choices on how to deal with it. You an either get bitter, or better. I chose to get better. It’s made all the difference.”

I think that many times, our first response to hard times is like that of the Israelites. Many times over the 40 years between the Exodus and entering the promised land the Israelites groaned and murmured against Moses and the Lord. They groaned because there was not water, or no food, or not the kind of food they wanted, or Moses was taking too long on the mountain. Do you ever notice yourself going there as your first response? I know that if I’m not careful, it is easy to go there. To complain to a friend, or to feel sorry for myself because life is just so hard at times.

Another response that we might have is to question God. We see in Job lots of questions that Job, and his friends, have for God about why He would allow such hard times, and we read in Psalms many questions that David had for God about the troubles that he encountered. And while our attitude in questioning God makes all the difference in whether or not we are sinning in our response, I think that the most appropriate responses to suffering and hard times we find in scripture are: rejoice, be patient, endure, and pray.

As humans, we seek comfort and stability in our lives, but without these hard times that disrupt our comfort, we don’t grow and mature. Growth and maturity comes as we face struggles with joy and faith. Conflict comes back to bless us if we will endure through it.

We know that Christ suffered on this earth, that his disciples faced all kinds of trials and suffering, so we know that “in this world we will have trouble,” but we also know that we can take heart because Christ has overcome the world. We can face suffering with a joy that the world does not understand, and as we endure, we grow, and mature, and become complete, we are blessed and will receive a crown of life.

On the way to church yesterday, I heard this song. I have heard it and even sung it in church before, but I was really impacted by the lyrics as I listened and the inherent choice that is made to bring praise to the Lord, regardless of where we are and what we are going through. Take a listen. The lyrics are below.

How have you been blessed by giving praise to God during hard times?

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand

All of my life in every season, You are still God
I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve received I will sow

How “Real” Do You Want Me to Be?

Today, I am revisiting some of my favorite recurring thoughts. These thoughts were actually the subject of my first two blog posts (Who Are We?, More on the Subject of Authenticity).

I think all the time how I wish we all were more authentic with one another. I wish we could take off our masks and stop pretending to have it all together. I wish we could be more “real” on a wider scale than just the few (if any) super-close friends that we save our “real” selves for. And I wish we could do all of that without fear of what other people think about us; without fear of judgment.

But instead I think on some level we are all walking around asking ourselves this question about the people we are with at any given moment, “how “real” do they want me to be?”

  • “Do they really want to know about my struggle with/addiction to (porn/alcohol/spending money/______)?”
  • “Should I tell them about my (depression/mental illness/infidelity/distrust of God/________)?”
  • “What would they think of me if they knew I (had anger issues/hated my husband/wanted to die/sometimes I wish I hadn’t had children/__________)?”

Over the last few months, I have had more opportunities to be “real” with more people. It’s scary, but it is also very freeing to not feel like I have to hide certain aspects of who I am. And by sharing those parts of me that are less than pleasant or just plain scary to share because of the fear of how I will be viewed once people know that about me, it helps me own my stuff and own how that stuff affects my life. But it also helps me give that stuff over to God, because when there are areas of our lives that need work, but we aren’t willing to own it, we won’t be willing to ask for help to fix it.

Lest any of you start thinking that I have some deep, dark secrets that you aren’t privy to, I am mainly talking about my struggle with depression and the fact that earlier this year it got to a point that I had to not only acknowledge it, but do something about it. With God’s help, I did and am doing that, and since then I have began to open up to more and more people about it. And what I am finding is that I am not alone. There are many other people who are struggling with the same issue. (Whew, I’m not the only one!) But up until that point, I fell into the same trap we all fall into, the one that says we have to “keep up appearances.” And you know what that did? Made me feel even more isolated and afraid to talk about it. (I am having a bit of an anxiety attack right now about posting this blog – those same old fears creeping in.)

I say that to say this: we have to be real with one another, and we have to give others permission to be who they are when they are with us. How else will we find the healing we need? How else will we show the grace of God to one another? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to hang out with people who always have it all together, because I don’t, and I don’t like to feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t have it all together. How about you?

Hope and Grace

For the last few weeks, I have been spending time in the book of Romans, revisiting some basic themes of what it means to be a follower of Christ. As I have been reading, two words have rattled around in my thinking: grace and hope, and I want to share a few of my thoughts with you.

Romans 5:1-11

Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. Indeed, rarely will anyone die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person someone might actually dare to die. But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us. Much more surely then, now that we have been justified by his blood, will we be saved through him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son, much more surely, having been reconciled, will we be saved by his life. But more than that, we even boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

First, let’s look at some definitions of hope. The definition of hope that we use today in modern language is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Another way of saying that is hope is a desire accompanied by expectation of our belief in fulfillment, or a strong and confident expectation. An example of this definition of hope would be this: Saturday I ran a 5K. I have run many 5K’s in the last few years, and it was my hope that in this one I would set a new personal record. I was hopeful that this would happen. But, while that was possible, there was also a possibility that it wouldn’t happen, so with this kind of hope, there is also a sense of doubt—it might happen, but it might not, but you want it to happen and you expect that it will happen, but there is still a possibility that it won’t. (I did set a new PR, by the way.) We say things like, I hope I get this job, but there’s a chance I won’t. I hope we can afford this house, but we might not be able to. I hope my friend recovers from this disease, but it doesn’t look good. Hope in this sense requires no faith.

Another definition of hope is a person or thing in which expectations are centered or trustful expectation with reference to the fulfillment of God’s promises. This is closer to the type of hope referred to in Romans. The definition of the hope used in these scriptures is more along the lines of trust. In fact, the archaic definition of hope is trust. So think about using the word trust in place of hope in the above. Gives it a whole different feel doesn’t it? We TRUST that He is God and is the Lord of our lives. There’s no doubt that we are going to share in the glory of God. We trust it. When our hope (trust, alert expectancy) is in the Lord, there won’t be disappointment. We won’t be put  to shame, or deluded, or left feeling shortchanged other versions of this scripture say. Even when things don’t turn out the way we expect, because our hope isn’t in our circumstances, but in the Lord. The more we suffer, persevere, endure and see God at work, the more our hope (TRUST) is built.

You see, if our hope truly is in God and not our circumstance, or in how we think things should turn out, or how other people treat us, or let us down, we can be filled with joy even when the world falls apart around us because we trust that God is in control, that God has our best in mind, that the God who has given us Grace is still giving grace.

But what is it that gives us this trustful expectation of God?

We are able to be called the children of God because of what Christ has done for us, not because of anything we have done on our own. Which is the meaning of grace. We can’t obtain it. It has to be given, and because of the gift of grace, we not only are saved but we have hope that we are part of God’s plan to reveal Himself and His glory to the world. God’s grace, which can be defined as the state of God’s favor or undeserved privilege, brings us to the place where we can put our hope, or trust, in Him. What has been done for us is so big, so freeing, that how can we not trust Him? We tend to think of grace in terms like this: a child messes up, but rather than getting the spanking they deserve, they get loved on instead. In a sense, this is grace, but the grace being given to us through Christ is so much bigger. This grace saves us from certain death, it gives us Hope. This grace empowers us. We can’t even come close to attaining the perfection that is expected of us, but this grace enables us to do more and be more than we are able to do and be. A book I have been reading called Radical by David Platt talks about grace this way:

“Here the gospel demands and enables us to turn from our sin, to take up our cross, to die to ourselves  and to follow Jesus…We are saved from our sins by a free gift of grace, something that only God can do in us and that we cannot manufacture ourselves…But that gift of grace involves the gift of a new heart. New desires. New longings. For the first time we want God. We see our need for Him and we love Him. We seek after Him, and we discover that He is indeed the great reward of our salvation…So we yearn for Him. We want Him so much that we abandon everything else to experience Him.”

That’s how big this gift of grace is. When we receive it, this is what our response should be: hopeful, trustful, expectation that God is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do. Here is where our hope lies. Here is where our trust is. None of the things that can happen to us in this world can change the fact that we are the children of God, that we have been saved by the blood of His Son, that we are called righteous. That His grace covered our sin.

And yet, most of us simply hope for good outcomes to our lives, to our troubles, for our families. But we are called to put our hope in Christ. Not in chance, or karma, or our abilities, or other people. In Christ. Hope in Christ isn’t doubtful, it is trustful, and He is trustworthy. We don’t hope for Christ and His glory, we hope IN Christ and His glory. Here is where it is helpful to think of hope in terms of trust.

Putting our hope in Christ should be a natural response to the grace and redemption that we have received through Him, and yet it is still our tendency to put our hope in just about anything but Him.

I remember when Mike and I were trying to start our family. We had tried for a year with no success and finally sought medical help. For seven more months I took medication to help the process along to no avail. Throughout the whole time I would say I was trusting God and His timing, I would even pray those words, but it wasn’t true. I was putting my hope in my timing, in my doctors, in the medication, in the ways that we were trying to time things just right. I was sure I could make it happen on my own. It wasn’t until I finally came to the end of me and truly said, with conviction that I was done trying. I was done putting my effort forth. I was ready to truly put my hope (Trust) in the Lord and His timing, His will for our family and our lives, that we finally conceived Anne.

Saying that we put our hope in God and giving lip-service to our trust isn’t enough. It has to be genuine. It has to be honest. And when we just can’t get there on our own, that’s where we have to ask for God’s grace to enable us to get to the point that we can honestly say, with faith believing, that we do trust and put our hope in Him. It’s not easy, but nothing in God’s word promised us easy.

But one of the most freeing moments comes when we remember grace. Romans 8:1 says There is therefore now no condemnation for those  who are in Christ Jesus. Sometimes we are going to fail. We’re going to put our hope in the things of this world. But, we are not condemned for it. We are given grace. Grace that enables us to try again. And again. And again.

Examine your life and where you place your hope. If there are areas where your hope is not in God, ask Him for his grace to help you place your hope in Him. And keep asking and receiving until your hope is where it should be. In Christ alone.

Where are you placing your hope today?

(If you want to read more about hope, there is an excellent post on one of the blogs I follow here.)

 

Hope Now

Hope: The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best; OR a person or thing in which expectations are centered.

Romans 5:1-5

 1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame [does not disappoint us], because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Italics mine.)