Category: Family Dynamics

If You’re Gonna Be Down…

For the first time in who knows how long, this is what my weekend looked like:

  • Pajamas
  • Knitting
  • Television (Once Upon A Time, Castle, Desperate Housewives)
  • Anne
  • Ty
  • Mike
  • Couch
  • Bed
  • Blankets
  • Naps
  • Late Nights
  • Hugs
  • Kisses
  • Feet up
  • No cooking (leftovers!)

In other words, AMAZING! I had no reason to leave the house on Saturday, and the same was true for Sunday after church and lunch. It was wonderful. It was needed. There’s nothing like complete down time with family to refresh and renew my body, mind, heart and spirit. I loved every minute of it.

When I can actually sit and relax and not worry about a to do list, or looking for something to do because I am restless, I know that the time has come for me to take advantage of the down time.

So that is exactly what I did this weekend.

We watched entirely too much TV. And I am okay with it. It’s not something we do all the time and I don’t think two days of complete vegging out in front of the television will rot our brains.

We didn’t eat overly healthy meals. And I am okay with it. It’s not something we do all the time and I don’t think two days with very few vegetables will kill us.

We did enjoy time together as a family. And I am great with that. Because family is important, and being able to just hang out together is a gift.

In this day and age, schedules are always full, families are often running in different directions, and down-time seems to be a rare commodity. When you get the chance to lay low with your family, take it. I promise you won’t regret it.

Monday Musings – Thankful!

I want to start the week out with some reminders of the many reasons I am thankful.

  • I am thankful for a worshiping community where I can come and worship with both children and adults.
  • I am thankful for a wonderful afternoon cleaning my daughter’s room with her. (Yes, we both survived and I didn’t get angry AT ALL! And considering the state of her room, THAT is a HUGE thing!) We listened to music, worked together, and had a good afternoon.
  • I am thankful for my parents and their commitment to those that they love. They drove 12 hours yesterday so they could see Dad’s brother who is in failing health. The timing and the extra travel costs are not the best, but they did it anyway.
  • I am thankful for the ability to knit and crochet and the ways that I can use it to help others.
  • I am thankful for my husband and for the way that he loves me and spoils me. Especially things like a ticket to all nine country shows in St. Louis this summer. 🙂
  • I am thankful for friends and for the effort it takes to maintain friendships. It’s hard, but worth it.

What are some of the things that you need to remember to be thankful for today?

Impossible? No Way!

In the last couple of weeks, I keep coming back to these scriptures over and over:

  • Philippians 4:13 – I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
  • 2 Corinthians 12:9 – But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
  • Matthew 19:26 – Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

These are the things that went through my head during the Goofy race. I have been teaching these ideas in Kids Church. I have had to lean on them as I am trying to be obedient to do hard things. I am using these ideas with my kids constantly – even last night as Anne was struggling in tumbling and using the words, “I can’t,” I was reminding her that with the strength of Christ, she can.

Why is it that our first response to something hard is that it is impossible? Why is it that we immediately look at the situation and at ourselves and say, “I can’t do this?”

Why is it so hard for us to acknowledge that we can’t do things on our own, much less ask for help?

Is it pride? Is it fear of being vulnerable? Is it arrogance?

When those tough things are standing in front of us, our first response should be, “Lord, you are strong when I am weak.  I cannot do this on my own. Please help me. I know with your help I can accomplish even that which seems impossible to me.” Our second response should be to give our best so that God can then use it for His glory.

This is the clip that I showed in Kids Church this week. I love it. If you haven’t watched this movie, I highly recommend it. It is a great example of how God can use those who look weak in the eyes of the world and make them strong.

I encourage you to lean on Christ and His strength today as you face the giants in your way.

Too Short

I couldn’t blog at the end of last week. I didn’t know what to say. On Monday, we lost a friend. My husband’s longest friend, to be exact. Mike knew Mark since birth. Mark was the best man in our wedding. He was quiet and soft-spoken, a good friend, a hard worker, and had a great smile. When I picture him in my mind, he is standing with his hands in his pockets, smiling, and saying, “well…”

He was 38. His life was taken by a fast-growing brain tumor.

I hate cancer.

We are sad. We are grieving. As we drove to the graveside service, we drove past Mike’s grandparent’s graves, where his mom’s ashes were sprinkled five and a half years ago.

Life is too short.

As I talked to Anne on Saturday evening, I reminded her that we never know what tomorrow holds, so we need to make sure we are living in right relationship with Christ and with others. I told her that we need to make sure that we are always telling those we love that we love them, even if it feels like we say it all the time.

Because life is too short.

Life is too short to get mixed up in drama. Life is too short to hold grudges. Life is too short to throw it away on some mid-life crisis. Life is too short to give up on your wife, husband, kids, or friends. Life is too short to spend it wishing that something was different. Life is too short to spend it holed up on your couch in front of the TV instead of with the people who you love. Life is too short to spend it obsessed with making a dollar instead of building relationships.

Life is too short.

In John 10:10b Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

I want to have that life. I want to make sure that I am living in a way that is pleasing to my Father in Heaven, and that means living for Him, and loving those around me – family, friends, neighbors, enemies.

Because life is too short to live any other way.

Staying on the Wagon

For anyone who watches what they eat and spends regular time exercising, there are times of struggle.

And one of the biggest times comes over the next week.

Extra candy, cookies, and other assorted “fattening” foods abound during this holiday week.

It’s no wonder most people make a New Year’s Resolution to eat better, exercise more, or lose weight.

But rather than look back and feel disgusted with ourselves, why not look ahead and make a key decision now.

It’s okay to have a little “treat” over the holidays. It is not okay to have the whole package.

Give yourself permission to have one or two of your favorite cookies. But then put the lid on the container and stop. Make that choice.

I’m going to let myself have a piece of KFC Extra Crispy chicken on Christmas Eve. But I am not going to eat a whole bucket.  Nor am I going to desert my vegan eating habits for the entire week because of one piece of chicken.

If you can’t continue in your “regular” exercise pattern because of being out-of-town, or family being around, that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything. Fire up the Wii and play Just Dance with your family. Take a walk together one afternoon. Do something to stay active.

I don’t really get a choice over my vacation. I’m still training and my longest run has to be run so I can make sure I am ready for our race in 3 weeks.

Don’t make the holidays something you will regret come January 2. Enjoy your friends, family, a little rest and some good food. Just think further than the moment as you go through the holiday.

What’s your favorite holiday food that is hard to resist?

Telling Kids about Tragedy

Friday was a terrible day for Newtown, Connecticut and for our country. All of us felt pain, sadness, grief, anger and more. As parents, we all wanted to pick up our kids from school, hold them a little tighter, and never let them leave our sight again.

Words have been flying about gun control, mental illness, school security, and the like.

And I, like many of you I am sure, just kept trying to figure out how to tell my kids. I wanted them to know, but I didn’t want them to be afraid.

So this is what I told them.

  1. Always listen to your teachers. If they tell you to run, to hide, to be quiet or anything like that, just do it. No questions asked. They are looking out for you. They are trying to protect you. Listen to them and do what they say.
  2. Life is uncertain. We don’t know if we will survive the day. That is why we always live life to the glory of God, and one that is in right relationship with Him.
  3. Life is uncertain. No one knows if they will survive the day. That is why we always live life to the glory of God and SHARE that hope with those around us. We offer them the same certainty of eternal life that we have through Jesus Christ.
  4. Many parents are scared. They don’t want to send their kids back to school. They want to keep them close. They are living in fear. I love you (my children) and I don’t want to lose you. But I will not live a life hampered by fear and worry. I have entrusted you to God’s care, and if something happens to you, I will be sad. I will be grief-stricken. I will be devastated. But I will be okay. God will see me through. He has seen me through many heartaches in my life and he would see me through that. Jesus came so that we could live life to the full, not so we would be bound by fear and worry. That doesn’t mean I am not concerned for your well-being and safety, it just means I will not allow myself to be trapped in a cycle of fear and worry.
  5. I don’t want you to be scared either. I will do my best as a parent to keep you safe. Your teachers will do the same. You need to be aware that bad things happen in this world, and they could happen to you, but you do not need to fear them, because
  6. even though bad things happen, our God can redeem them. That doesn’t mean that he makes the bad things seem good. That doesn’t mean that it is a good thing when children die. It means that God can bring good out of any situation. He can use any circumstance to bring glory to Him. When my niece Vivian died after only 6 days of life, that wasn’t good in any way, shape, or form. But the way God has been able to use my sister, Stephanie, in the lives of other women who have lost children is good, and has brought much glory to God.
  7. I love you.

I have hugged them a little more. I have said I love you more often. I have smiled more and got on their case a little less.

I have been reminded that life is fleeting and we need to live life to the fullest.

And I am thankful to my God, who has blessed me with this life, with this family, and with these friends at this time.

I pray that we all would hold on to these things, pray for the families that have lost much, pray for the children and teachers left who are afraid, and speak with kindness and love for one another in the days ahead.

 

Monday Music and Merry Christmas!

On this Monday morning, when we are all trying to figure out how to make it through this next week leading up to Christmas, when we are all thinking about our kids at school today and praying that they are safe from harm, when we are all thinking about how to make this Christmas more meaningful to our families, I just want to share another of my favorite Christmas songs with you. Every time I listen to this song, I have a flood of memories – from Madrigal Dinners in high school, to the anticipation of being home with my family on Christmas Eve while in college, to quiet nights alone leading up to the holiday. The story he tells in the middle of the song always brings tears to my eyes. I also want to wish you, my readers, a very Merry Christmas, and share our family Christmas card (christmas letter 2012) with you.

 

Time Warp and Gratitude

So I kind of missed blogging last week. Completely. Monday got away from me. Wednesday I just didn’t have time to flesh out what was on my mind. And Friday I was with a friend at the hospital all day.

And here it is Monday again. November is upon us. Daylight Savings Time has ended.

How is it that this happens so fast?

Last November, I encouraged you in this post to practice Thanksgiving. I practiced it by posting daily on Facebook what I was thankful for each day.

This year, I wanted to do something different. I wanted to make sure that my whole family was practicing being grateful. So we created the “Wall of Thanks.”

Okay. So it’s not really a wall. It’s my bedroom door. But it works. Each day in November, Mike, the kids and I are writing something that we are thankful for on a post-it note and adding it to the wall. We even got our small group involved last night and they added their own post-it notes. It’s looking so colorful and fun, and I am thoroughly enjoying reading what my family comes up with each day – from sweet to funny (family to bathrooms). The kids are enjoying it so much, they are doing it first thing in the morning when they wake up!

So, once again, I encourage you to find a way to be grateful every day of November. You’ll be amazed at how much it changes your outlook!

Piles of Leaves

I love Garfield. Don’t know why, but I always have. Daily, I get the Garfield cartoon sent to my e-mail and yesterday’s made me laugh. Out loud. Because I swear, instead of Jon in the picture, it could have been Mike.

It’s a perfect example of just when you start to realize how thankful you are for the next thing in your life, something happens and then you feel overwhelmed by the same thing.

So, on this Monday morning of a week that will likely bring many challenges to your life, your schedule, your heart, and your mind, try to focus for a while on what you are thankful for, and why. That way, when you begin to feel overwhelmed, you can remind yourself why you are thankful!

Food and Fitness Friday: We’re Making Progress

For those of you who know my husband, you should make sure you are sitting down to read this.

He agreed to Meatless Mondays.

Yes, I am talking about the meat and potatoes, wild game killing (and eating) man who is my husband, the man I love, who loves meat. With every meal. For every meal. Side dishes optional. And that includes veggies. He always says that vegetables aren’t food, they are what food eats. And that is most likely never going to change. Ever. And that is okay.

But cooking two kinds of meals every night isn’t really possible. And now that I am actually home a couple of nights a week and am cooking, I thought maybe Meatless Mondays would be a way to introduce my family to a wider variety of foods. And Mr. Meat was agreeable to let me do it.

So, how did that happen? Well, I have been cooking occasionally for the whole family. When I find a recipe I think they would like, I make it for all of us. When I find one I am confident I am the only one who will like it, I don’t try to feed it to them. And they are finding that they like the food. Maybe it isn’t what they are used to, but they are giving it a try.

Then there are meals like last night’s. I made a yummy biscuit-topped, pot-pie-like dish that I split in two and added chicken to their half. And they liked it. A lot. It’s all about picking my battles, and meals, based on what I know about them and their taste buds, and making things work for both the meat-eaters and me the veggie-eater. It’s about making sure that I keep a track-record of making foods they like, rather than trying to make them eat something that I know they wouldn’t like. They are learning to trust my vegan food choices for them, the same way they have trusted all my other food choices for them over the years. I take that seriously. I want them to enjoy eating food that is good for them, not just the stuff that isn’t. 🙂

It is important for me to say, I am NOT attempting to turn my family into fellow vegans. But I am attempting to get them to eat healthier and try new things. And I think we are making progress. And that’s a good thing.