Category: Listening

Sweet Silver Lining

Two verses that I held onto during my Goofy run last weekend were:

  • Philippians 4:13 (NIV) – I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
  • 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) – But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power (strength in the KJV) is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Without these verses and the promises that go along with them, I would have been hopeless.

And really, that is true about most of life. I am constantly holding on to the promises of God that say He is my strength, He is my provider, He is my protector, and so much more.

I have loved this song since the first time I heard it, but I listened to it a little differently this week. It is spot on about me, about my life. I have many people who are looking to me to be their strength, to be their support, and I often feel inadequate for that – whether it be my kids, husband, other family, or friends. But thanks to the strength of God, I won’t give up. I will keep pressing on and doing my best with His help.

Questions and Answers

I don’t know about you, but the older I get, I seem to have more questions than answers when it comes to just about everything.

Faith.

Politics.

Love.

Parenting.

Relationships.

Marriage.

I do my best to have faith, show love, be a good mom, wife, and friend, but the big questions in life seem to have fewer and fewer black and white answers.

We ask for answers to our questions all the time. I find myself asking God for answers and direction on certain issues often. In fact, just yesterday some friends and I were asking for a specific answer to a specific question. And we had no idea what the “right” answer was.

As we prayed, I was prompted to pray that any personal bias or stubbornness or preconceived ideas of what the answer should be would be removed from the picture so that it would be clear what His answer was.

I think that is a huge reason that we sometimes don’t have answers to our questions. We think we know what those answers should be, and by coming in with our own answers, we can’t hear or see what His answer is.

And it is hard not to do this. All our lives we are answering questions for ourselves. Do we want cereal or eggs for breakfast? Do we want to wear this or that? Do we want to go to this church,  that church or no church? Do we want to believe that God answers prayers or not?

Yes, God has given us the mind of Christ and yes, some answers are easy because they are obvious. But for those that are less obvious, sometimes we need to take ourselves out of the equation so we can hear the answer.

And when we hear the answer, it is our responsibility to trust that we have heard it and to follow through, without questioning.

What answers are you looking for today?

Waiting

I am not a fan of waiting.

I don’t like waiting in line. I get frustrated waiting for my kids and husband to move. And waiting on someone else to finish what they are supposed to do so I can do my job, well, don’t get me started.

I am a go-getter. If I see that it needs to be done, I do it. If I know I am supposed to do something, I want to get it done.

So, waiting for something that I know is supposed to happen bugs me.

But I also am aware that when it comes to God’s call and timing, I am not the one in charge. And it has become a learning point for me over the last several years to wait on Him.

As I was reading from Love Does by Bob Goff last night, I ran across this paragraph that does a pretty good job of describing me.

I think God passes by me a lot, and it serves to show me the direction He’s going. We don’t always know where He’s headed or what to expect along the way. But I think direction is the point, the part, and whole of it. He wants followers, not just onlookers or people taking notes. Plus, I think God knows that if I found out more than just the direction He was going, I’d probably try to beat Him there. And if He spoke to me with something audible, I’d probably mess it up and mishear Him.

So I continue to wait for His next move. His next direction-giving moment in my life. Even though I get tired of waiting.

Is waiting easy for you?

A Path in the Right Direction

Seven years ago this month something happened. That January I began working on a Master’s Degree in Leadership and Ministry as part of following the call that I have heard. And that is a huge part of my story.

But something else happened that month as a result of starting that program.

I was convicted about how I was caring for my body (or not caring for as the case may be).

I was eating whatever I wanted. I was getting no exercise whatsoever. And it hadn’t even occurred to me that it was a problem.

And then the Lord reminded me of this scripture:

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (I Corinthians 6:19-20)

I was doing my best to honor God with my mind and with my heart, but nothing to honor him with my body. And that realization was enough for me to make some changes.

I started exercising again. I started being more conscious of what I was eating. A little over a year later, I ran my first 5K and 7 months after that, my first 1/2 marathon.

There have been ups and downs. I have done well with exercise and completely sloughed off. I have many months of good eating that somehow turn into a month of eating terribly. I have cut sugar, carbs, meat, dairy, and eggs out of my diet. I have let all of them creep back in at times.

But the one thing that hasn’t changed is this: I have never turned back. I may have wandered off course for a short period of time. But I have never turned back. I am always looking forward to what is next, how I can get better, more consistent, healthier, thinner; how I can pass on what I have learned and am learning to my family, to my children, to others who struggle with these issues.

I ate sweets over the holidays and I hate that I let them creep back in, but as has become my custom, they are banned from my diet again beginning Monday through my birthday in March. Last year my family joined me, they may do so again (we will talk about it this weekend). I ordered my first produce basket of 2013 today, so the fruits and veggies that I have been out of for a while will once again fill my refrigerator. A week from tomorrow, I begin the Goofy Challenge – running 39.3 miles in two days. The training for that has kept me mostly on track with exercise, but that isn’t an end-point. It is simply the end of this training run and then I will begin training for the Mini Indy 1/2 marathon I do each May.

My goal isn’t to be perfect. My goal isn’t to have a perfect body. My goal is to care for my body in a way that honors God. To eat healthy food that contributes to a healthy body. To exercise regularly which contributes both to a healthy body and a healthy mind (running is cheaper than therapy!).

So with that goal in mind, I continue on this path of health, with all the bumps, detours, and successes that come along with it.

Are you on the right path?

New Year. Same Reality.

It’s a new year. 2013. Remember when the year 2000 seemed like a huge deal?

Resolutions have been made. Some have already been broken. Hope is high for changes of all kinds.

At least it was yesterday.

Today we are back at work and back to whatever it is that makes up our “reality.”

For some it may be what feels like a dead-end job. For some it may be the snooze button on the alarm clock instead of getting up to exercise. For some it may be the fast-food burger instead of healthy salad. For some it may be overdue bills and creditor calls. For some it may be a marriage on life-support. For some it may be doctors and hospitals.

For most of us it is not exactly what we pictured our reality would be when we were growing up.

But no matter what it is, we have a choice: let our circumstances rule us, or let our faith buoy us in the midst of our circumstances.

Instead of lamenting about a job you hate, look for ways to love the people you work with just like Christ loves you.

Instead of beating yourself up about not exercising or eating right, choose to start again right now and pray for help.

Instead of worrying about bills, make sure you are not holding too tightly to your money and are giving to the Lord.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself in your marriage, start working to show your spouse how much you love them, without expecting anything in return.

Instead of sitting alone in waiting rooms, strike up conversations with others who need to be shown hope.

How we respond to our reality shows what our true character is. And I want my character to be defined as Christ-like. I may not be happy with my day-to-day reality, but I won’t let circumstances rule my life. I will choose faith. I will choose hope. I will choose love.

What will you choose today?

 

Telling Kids about Tragedy

Friday was a terrible day for Newtown, Connecticut and for our country. All of us felt pain, sadness, grief, anger and more. As parents, we all wanted to pick up our kids from school, hold them a little tighter, and never let them leave our sight again.

Words have been flying about gun control, mental illness, school security, and the like.

And I, like many of you I am sure, just kept trying to figure out how to tell my kids. I wanted them to know, but I didn’t want them to be afraid.

So this is what I told them.

  1. Always listen to your teachers. If they tell you to run, to hide, to be quiet or anything like that, just do it. No questions asked. They are looking out for you. They are trying to protect you. Listen to them and do what they say.
  2. Life is uncertain. We don’t know if we will survive the day. That is why we always live life to the glory of God, and one that is in right relationship with Him.
  3. Life is uncertain. No one knows if they will survive the day. That is why we always live life to the glory of God and SHARE that hope with those around us. We offer them the same certainty of eternal life that we have through Jesus Christ.
  4. Many parents are scared. They don’t want to send their kids back to school. They want to keep them close. They are living in fear. I love you (my children) and I don’t want to lose you. But I will not live a life hampered by fear and worry. I have entrusted you to God’s care, and if something happens to you, I will be sad. I will be grief-stricken. I will be devastated. But I will be okay. God will see me through. He has seen me through many heartaches in my life and he would see me through that. Jesus came so that we could live life to the full, not so we would be bound by fear and worry. That doesn’t mean I am not concerned for your well-being and safety, it just means I will not allow myself to be trapped in a cycle of fear and worry.
  5. I don’t want you to be scared either. I will do my best as a parent to keep you safe. Your teachers will do the same. You need to be aware that bad things happen in this world, and they could happen to you, but you do not need to fear them, because
  6. even though bad things happen, our God can redeem them. That doesn’t mean that he makes the bad things seem good. That doesn’t mean that it is a good thing when children die. It means that God can bring good out of any situation. He can use any circumstance to bring glory to Him. When my niece Vivian died after only 6 days of life, that wasn’t good in any way, shape, or form. But the way God has been able to use my sister, Stephanie, in the lives of other women who have lost children is good, and has brought much glory to God.
  7. I love you.

I have hugged them a little more. I have said I love you more often. I have smiled more and got on their case a little less.

I have been reminded that life is fleeting and we need to live life to the fullest.

And I am thankful to my God, who has blessed me with this life, with this family, and with these friends at this time.

I pray that we all would hold on to these things, pray for the families that have lost much, pray for the children and teachers left who are afraid, and speak with kindness and love for one another in the days ahead.

 

Christmas Lights and Heart Issues

Hi. I’m Chrisy, and I have a problem. I spend my evenings the weeks leading up to Christmas judging Christmas lights.

No one has asked me to, I just do it.

Some people do a wonderful job – lights of the same color, no flashing, tastefully done.

Others? Well, not so much. They mix colors. Different strands flash at different times. They go overboard on lights, displays, lawn ornaments, etc. What my son has deemed “over decorated.”

Why do I do this? I don’t know. I always have. Ask my high school friends. I used to comment about Christmas lights all the time. When they were put up too early (before Thanksgiving), kept up too long (past January 6), or not done “well,” I always had a comment. My personal opinion about someone else’s choice in Christmas light decor.

Is there anything wrong with doing that? Not necessarily. I do it in good fun with my family and one of my good friends. I’m not knocking on doors and telling people who their lighting choices need help. It’s something that for some reason I notice and at times comment on.

And yet, as I think about it, I wonder if that is how we are about people more often than not. When we see something we don’t “like” or something that doesn’t fit our definition of “right,” do we make snap judgments about those people? Are we quick to notice what we don’t like, and not so quick to look beyond what we see?

Is that what happened to Mary, this woman, pledged to be married to Joseph, who ended up pregnant before the wedding? What kinds of judgments were made about her? We know that her own betrothed planned to divorce her quietly after he found out, right up until an angel visited him in a dream. What did her parents think? Her close relatives? Her neighbors?

We all know that we are told not to judge, lest we be judged. And if you are like me, you try hard not to judge people. But it is hard. We all have our ideas of right and wrong, good and bad, and it is really hard not to hold others up to the impossible standards that we have set for ourselves and the rest of the world. But the reality is this, we don’t know the whole story. We don’t know where God is at work in ways we can’t see. We don’t know what people have been through to bring them to the place they are at this point in their lives. We don’t know their daily struggles, or their past hurts, or what they are facing tomorrow.

So, as I drive around looking at Christmas lights this year, I will try to remember that I don’t know everything. There may be deeper stories about why some people decorate they way they do. And as I walk through the grocery store, I will work hard to look beyond what I can see when I look at the people around me. Because God loves them. God has a plan for them. Just like he loves me and has a plan for me.

What are you thoughts on Christmas light strategies? Simple and understated or over the top?

Part of the Process

I like to read. A lot.

Much of the time I read novels. Nicholas Sparks. Karen Kingsbury. Angela Hunt. Dee Henderson. Charles Martin. Beverly Lewis. These are just a few of my favorite authors.

I am one of those people who gets absorbed in novels and have been known to cry or get angry about what is happening in a book as if the characters were real.

Last January I hit a dry spell. I couldn’t read. I tried. Over and over. I started one book that would typically take me a couple of days to finish and it took me 6 months.

Finally, in October, the dry spell was over. I could read again. I was devouring books again. I even spent a couple of days on my couch just reading. I can’t remember the last time I did that.

And then it happened. I finished The Nativity Story by Angela Hunt and I couldn’t start another novel.

I’m not sure why. I had one picked out and sitting by my bed, but I couldn’t pick it up.

Instead, I was drawn to a book in a genre that is quickly becoming my favorite: memoirs.

The one calling my name was Angry Conversations with God: A Snarky but Authentic Spiritual Memoir by Susan Isaacs. I bought the book over a year ago and it had just been sitting on my shelf. So I started reading it. And I couldn’t put it down. I finished it in just a couple of days. (And since I pretty much only have time to read before bed, and even that is limited some days, that’s pretty amazing.) In her story, she takes God to counseling, or rather, she takes her image of God to counseling. There is something about the way she writes that just struck a chord with me. The sarcasm, snark, and humor perfectly woven with the real questions, hardships, and struggles that she faced spoke to me. So much so, that when I finished it, I posted this on Facebook:

Just finished “Angry Conversations with God” by Susan Isaacs. Loved it. The subtitle is “A Snarky but Authentic Spiritual Memoir” and it is just that. It is real. It is tough. It deals with the fact that life sucks. It really spoke to me. Read it. If you have ever questioned God or life or your place in it. Read it.

And I meant it. I still do.

After I finished it, I went to pick up the novel that I had picked out (it was still sitting next to my bed) and again I couldn’t.

Instead I was reminded of a book that I had waiting for me in the Kindle App on my iPad. Love Does by Bob Goff. Guess what. Another memoir.

I have been working on it for the last couple of days. I can’t put it down. I keep finding gems that speak to me. Things like:

Jesus told the people He was with that it’s not enough to just look like you love God. He said we’d know the extent of our love for God by how well we loved people.

and:

I once heard somebody say that God had closed a door on an opportunity they had hoped for. But I’ve always wondered if, when we want to do something that we know is right and good, God places that desire deep in our hearts because He wants it for us and it honors Him. Maybe there are times when we think a door has been closed and, instead of misinterpreting the circumstances, God wants us to kick it down. Or perhaps just sit outside of it long enough until somebody tells us we can come in.

I don’t know why I am being drawn to these books. But I think it might be part of the process of coming out of this time of depression and anxiety that has been plaguing me. I think there may be things that I need to learn and I can’t learn them through novels right now. (I have learned much from novels, as well, over the years, but maybe that’s not what I need at this point.) Maybe I can only learn them through other people’s real stories. Through their struggles. Through their pain. Through their redemption. Through their enlightening.

So I guess I’ll keep reading what my heart and mind seem to be looking for – whatever form that takes.

What are you reading these days? How do the books you read affect you?

Monday Music: Christmas!

It’s December! This month, I thought I would share some of my favorite songs with you each Monday.

Last Christmas Eve, I was running in Orange Beach/Gulf Shores, Alabama listening to this album. It was a wonderful time of worship and this is just one of the songs that really blessed my soul.

Last week, I was listening to this album again on a run, and guess what? It blessed me again!

And then yesterday, we sang this song in worship and my favorite part was listening to my son sing it loudly.

Take a listen. I hope you are blessed by it as well. And I pray that your soul magnifies the Lord like Mary’s did as she carried our Savior!

Struggling

I have been a terrible blogger for the last couple of weeks. I have thought about blogging every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, as is my (plan, custom, habit), but every time I get to the “Add New Post” page, I can’t do it.

I have ideas, but just not the energy or creativity to flesh them out.

I have time, but just not the motivation to use it to blog.

I’m in a funk.

I have noticed in the last couple of weeks the depression has gotten heavier and the anxiety has gotten higher. I have noticed that I am not texting, calling, talking, or Facebooking as much as I typically do. I have noticed I am withdrawing from life, little by little.

There’s no explanation. There’s no reason that I can pinpoint. It is what it is.

I know this happens to me sometimes. I don’t see it coming. And I don’t necessarily see it happening until I am in the midst of it. And once in the midst of it, I don’t know how to get out of it.

I try. I pray. I read. I make myself reach out. I force myself to smile. I purposely put myself with people instead of staying by myself.

But that doesn’t necessarily change anything. I have to wait it out. I have to pray that it lifts sooner rather than later. And I have to remember that it will lift. And I will get to the other side. Just like I have many times before.

I don’t write this post so you will feel sorry for me. I write this post for those of you who struggle like me. There is hope. And it comes in unexpected ways. This week, it was a reading in Jesus Calling and it came at a time when I really needed it.

If you are struggling right now, I encourage you to look for the beauty, the reasons to be thankful, the life all around you. It may not change your circumstances, but it will change your outlook on those circumstances.

That’s what I am working on today.