Category: Listening

The Golden Rule

I feel like I spend so much time in my house telling my one (or both) of my kids, “treat him the way you want to be treated, not the way he treated you!” Or, “you are not supposed to do back to her whatever bad thing she did do to you. You are supposed to be better to her!” Or, my favorite, “I wish you two would show more kindness to one another, rather than just being plain old mean and vicious!”

And then I get on Facebook. And sometimes I feel like I need to say the same things to half of the people in my news feed. Particularly these last couple of weeks.

I have even had some recent conversations with people (of the adult variety) where I had to say the same things to them that I say to my children. Obviously in a different and less parent-y way, but the same nonetheless.

So when I read this in my devotional time one evening last week, I really resonated with it, and subsequently wanted to personally share it with every human being that I know that needs to hear these words. But then I would be doing exactly what I despise and behaving in the exact ways that this passage tells me not to. So instead, I have just been meditating on it and how it applies to me and how I live my life. The passage is found in 1 Peter 3:8-17:

8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For,

“Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from deceitful speech.
11 He must turn from evil and do good;
he must seek peace and pursue it.
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.” 15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17 It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

Powerful words about the power of our words and actions. Promises of blessing when we do right and when we are eager to do good.

I know it is hard when someone says something mean (and possibly untrue) about you. Our natural tendency is to defend ourselves, which is where we tend to get into trouble. In the process of defending ourselves, we can sometimes end up repaying “evil with evil or insult with insult.”

But as Christians, we are told to repay evil and insult with blessing. In Matthew 5:44, Jesus tells us to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

That means no matter what is done to you or said about you, you don’t get to retaliate in like manner and get away with it. That means that you are called to a higher level of action, even when it hurts. Even when it is devastating. Even when it seems impossible to do so.

And you can, because “what is impossible with men is possible with God.” (Luke 18:27)

Can you imagine if all of those who claim to be followers of Christ would actually act this way? Can you imagine the change in the social climate? The political scene? The neighborhood park? The nation’s schools? The workplace?

What would it be like if everyone repaid evil with blessing? It would be a much better world than the one in which we currently live. May it start with me.

How do you react to this idea? What ways could you implement this into your life more fully?

Sometimes a Filter Isn’t Enough

Some of my friends and I often refer to whether or not our “filter” is working. You know, the filter that determines what of the stuff that goes through your mind actually gets said out loud and what stays locked safely inside.

Some days the filter works well. Others, well, not so much.

And when it doesn’t work, what comes out isn’t pretty. One of my friends uses the phrase “emotional vomit” on her blog site and I think that is a pretty good description of the stuff that comes out of my mouth when my filter is on the fritz.

I have had a week so far that has been quite a challenge for my filter. There have been moments when I am not sure just how well it is working. There have been others when I am pretty sure the “emotional vomit” quotient was pretty high.

Fortunately, most of the time, I was just getting it all over myself and not others, but that’s not great either.

So tonight, I am praying this verse:

Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord;
keep watch over the door of my lips.
-Psalm 141:3

Because sometimes my internal filter isn’t enough. Sometimes (ok, all of the time) I need to have the Lord guarding what comes out of my mouth. Because what I say needs to be edifying, uplifting, and Christlike. Not Chrisy-like.

Lord, help me!

How about you? Filter or Guard?

Opinions, Opinions Everywhere, and Only Mine Counts

I wrote this post on Friday:

I am growing increasingly frustrated with the prevalent attitude I am seeing that says, “This is what I think (believe), and if you don’t agree with me, you are wrong.” In other words, you can have your own opinion, as long as it is the same as mine.

What happened to diversity? What happened to valuing the opinions of others? What happened to polite discussion that ends in an agreement to disagree? Why is it so important for everyone to agree on everything? I think we are looking at a pretty dull society if we all become robots who think the same way, act the same way, and believe the same things.

Even more frustrating to me is the fact that I am seeing this so often from people who claim to be Christ followers. I expect (although I don’t like it) to see these types of attitudes in the people of the world who don’t claim to be Christian, but as Christians, we are supposed to be counter-cultural, to imitate Christ, to love one another. Yet more and more I am seeing those who say they are Christians who are angry, judgmental, and leave no room to tolerate, much less hear the opinions or beliefs of anyone else. And that isn’t what I see in Jesus. I see a man who didn’t judge the adulteress, the tax collector or the people who didn’t believe His teaching. The only time we see Jesus angry is when the religious leaders of the day were turning the house of worship into something that it wasn’t meant to be and when these same leaders were putting unrealistic rules and expectations, and thus oppressing, the people under their care.

So it makes me angry when I see Westboro Baptist Church doing their protests in ways that are hurtful to others.

It breaks my heart when I read a story about a pastor who wasn’t allowed to perform the marriage ceremony of an African-American couple in his own church, and instead had to use another church in town.

It hurts me to see this whole Chik-fil-a controversy blowing up all over Facebook bringing a dividing line between friends.

It mourns me to see and hear such hateful and judgmental language used about those who are in poverty.

It was my plan to finish it this morning and post it. It was a hard post to write, but one that was screaming to get out. I had to stop writing though because I was getting pretty worked up and needed to walk away.

The interesting thing was, when I “walked away” I ran smack into this post from Jen Hatmaker.

And all I could say was, “wow!” This woman put exactly what I was thinking and feeling into words much more eloquent and profound than I ever could. So I decided I would share both my words and hers today.

Are you ready to leave behind the hate and drama and get to the real work of loving people like Christ did? I know I am.

If Only They Cared

Ever have those days where you feel like no one cares about the things you care about?

I am having one of those weeks.

And what’s sad about it is the thing I am most obsessed with right now is the fact that no one seems to care about keeping the house clean but me.

And then I go through the “why bother” stage myself since even when I attempt to keep things in order, five minutes later someone spills something, throws the pillows off the couch, tracks dirt in the house, or decides that it takes emptying the entire dresser of clothing to find one thing to wear.

And then I get mad. And ugly. Because I want someone to care besides me. I want someone else to want to come home to a clean and tidy house. And the thing is, they all like it when it is clean and tidy, but they don’t want to do the work necessary to make it (or keep it) that way.

There’s the huffs from the husband when you ask him to help. There’s the tears from the kids when you tell them, “No, your room is not even close to clean yet.” And frankly, I don’t know which I hate worse – the mess or the hassle of dealing with people who don’t get it.

But then I have to ask myself, is this how the Lord feels about my heart? Are there times when He is trying to keep it cleaned up and I am not doing my part? And the answer is, “probably.”

And in the midst of that, does God get frustrated with me? No, he offers grace.

And since I am to be like Christ, I need to offer grace as well.

So as I clean my house today (with the “help” of my children), I will remember that the grace I receive I also need to give.

(And I will continue to hope and pray that one day my children will learn how to keep their rooms clean. Before they move out of my house.)

What are the areas of your life where you need to be reminded to offer grace?

Loss of Perspective and Getting it Back

 

Remember last week when I talked about Perspective? Well, I lost mine today. It always works that way. There is something that I am trying to work on and then it gets challenged. And there is nothing like a crazy-busy weekend, a nearly empty bank account, a sleepless night, and 100+ temperatures to make you lose your perspective on life.

I was done. I was on the brink of tears. And then, I forgot a lunch date that I had scheduled with a friend. Which made me feel even more like a loser.

And my friend offered me grace. And lunch, a little late. And conversation. And love. And a listening ear. And an opportunity to rejoice with her.

And suddenly, I have regained some perspective.

So, in order to help gain even more, I offer the following:

  • Thank you to my sweet daughter for knowing I had a rough night and making me breakfast while I got ready for work.
  • Thank you to a good friend who not only opens her basement door and lets us come in for yoga, but also opens her heart to care for her friends, even in the midst of her busy life.
  • Thank you to the good friend who lifted my spirits over lunch today.
  • Thank you to another friend, who, without really even knowing that I was struggling today, told me to be happy on my way out the door to lunch, and threatened me with kindness if I didn’t do it.
  • Thank you to another friend who helped me care for someone this weekend by working with me to do their laundry and clean their house.
  • Thank you to friends who open their homes and lives to my family and I and for the fun conversations and laughter that we shared this weekend.

There is so much more that I have to be thankful for, but these are the things that rise to the top from the last 48 hours or so. I am blessed, and I know it. But sometimes it is easy to forget it, which is why we just need to put it in writing or speak it out loud at times.

So, what are you thankful for today? Do you need to do something to bring some perspective into your day? If so, do it. You won’t regret it.

Perspective

Have you ever noticed that whether the glass is half full or half empty often simply depends on your perspective?

Here’s an example: I have had a headache for 5 solid days, 24 hours a day. It isn’t terrible enough to keep me down, but it is annoying, there all the time, and I can’t always stay focused on what I am doing. This would typically be something that would drive me crazy and eventually get me to the point that I would just quit. But I have a friend who has been battling a severe headache, as in curled up in a fetal position either in her bed or a hospital bed, for six weeks now, with no light at the end of the tunnel. Makes my little headache not an issue at all. Instead, every time I am distracted by the pain in my head, I use it as an opportunity to pray for her.

Or what about this: as I drive to work (or home) it is so hot that the A/C in my van never gets cool. I could be annoyed, but when I think about all the people who have to work outside in this heat, or who do not have a cool place to stay, I have to instead be thankful that I have a cool home and a cool job.

We all have a way of looking at things in our lives. We all have a tendency to see through self-centered eyes at times. But we also all have the potential to look at our circumstances from a different perspective, if we so choose.

What expectations do we place on others, purposely or not, because we are only seeing things from our perspective? How are we affecting our relationships when we constantly want everyone else to see things from our perspective? Where could we grow if only we were willing to see things differently?

This is also true when we experience things in our lives that we don’t understand and begin to question God about it. He says in Isaiah 55:8-9

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

God’s perspective is an eternal perspective, where our perspective is based on the here and now. He is looking at us as part of His creation and how He can use what happens to us, good and bad, (the bad not caused by God, but brought about by the fact that we live in a fallen world where the evil one is at work), for His glory.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I sometimes often get caught up in what’s going on in my life and frustrated by what I see. But that is only because I can’t see what God sees. The moment I begin to acknowledge that fact, my whole perspective (and subsequently, attitude) changes.

So, my challenge for you (and me) today is to begin viewing my life through God’s eyes, and realizing that His perspective much better than mine, even if I can’t see the whole picture.

What’s an area in which you need to change your perspective today?

Believe the Lies? Or Know the Truth?

As I was doing my devotions last night I was struck by one of the readings (found in A Guide to Prayer for All Who Seek God). Here it is:

During one of the unfortunate wars between India and Pakistan, an Indian army officer was captured and kept incommunicado in Karachi till the end of the war, when he was set free, came back to India and told his experience. During his captivity, he said, he was allowed to read newspapers and listen to the radio, but, of course, only Pakistani newspapers and radio stations. Accordingly he heard and read day by day news of  the war which said repeatedly that India was losing on all fronts, and was about to be defeated. That was all the information he had. And yet, as he himself told when he was free in India recollecting his past captivity, he refused to believe even then that his country was losing, and was sure in his heart, in spite of all the constant propaganda to the contrary, that India was winning the war all along. And that was the fact. India was winning, and in a few days obtained the final victory that forced the peace. The experience of the gallant officer, when I read it in the press, gave me an example of how faith works in us…if only we too are proud of our heavenly citizenship, and gallant patriots of the Kingdom. All the information we receive is adverse and contrary to our beliefs. The Enemy is winning. Honesty does not pay, to tell the truth only creates problems, violence always gets the upper hand, and goodness has no place left in this troubled world. Those are the news we read and hear day by day and hour by hour. The Kingdom is being defeated, and there is no hope of victory. And yet, in our heart of hearts, we know that that is not true. In spite of all the enemy propaganda we know deep down in our conscience that the Kingdom is winning, that truth prevails, that honesty pays, and Jesus is King. This is heavenly patriotism, which is divine faith. Let us wait in joyful patience for the final news, and when victory comes we will tell our experience.
–From Faith for Justice by Carlos G. Valles

I was blown away by this for many reasons. How often do we believe the lies of society about ourselves–we aren’t good enough, we aren’t pretty enough, we don’t have it all together like that person–instead of the truth of who we are in Christ–we are more than conquerors, we are His beloved, His strength is made perfect in our weakness? The same can be said for what is reported to us regularly that Christianity is on the decline in the United States. When we hear this and believe it, do we tend to then say it doesn’t matter whether we share our faith or not because of the decline, instead of believing that God’s plan is for ALL to accept Him so that He can redeem them and that our God is victorious?

As you think about this idea, are there lies that you are believing instead of having faith in the Truth of God’s Words? I encourage you to ask for God’s discernment in those areas so that you can see the truth of who God is and who you are in Him.

Journey to the Center

Sometimes as Christians, we get caught up in the idea that we made a decision to follow Christ at a specific point in our lives and now we are just waiting for Heaven. We forget that all of our time here on earth is a journey towards Christ. Before we consciously decided to give our lives to Jesus, He was working to bring us closer to Him and we were on a journey towards Him. After our moment of conversion, we began the next leg of our journey, learning what it means to follow Christ and following Him with all of our heart.

This week, I read this description of walking with Christ: “Our journey toward abundant living is like walking a spiritual labyrinth repeatedly, from an ever deepening inner space. We walk toward the center to be transformed by God’s love; then we walk outward to transform our small space in the world by reflecting God’s love. There is no intention to trick us or get us lost along the journey. But there is mystery. Always mystery. And awe. And amazing grace.”

When something is converted, it is changed from one thing to another. The definition of convert is 1. To change (something) into another form, substance, state, or product; transform: convert water into ice.

2. To change (something) from one use, function, or purpose to another; adapt to a new or different purpose: convert a forest into farmland. In both of these examples, this one-time conversion won’t stay converted without some kind of action. If you freeze water and it turns to ice, the moment it isn’t in the freezer it will turn back to water. If you chop down trees on land, but don’t do anything with it, eventually new trees will grow up there.

In other words, when we make a decision to follow Christ, something happens. And that is a big thing. We are converted. We are changed from one thing to another. From sinners to saints. From selfish to selfless. The Bible tells us that our sins are washed away, that we are transformed. But, it doesn’t stop there. We have to continue to live with Christ at our center. We have to, as it says in Philippians 2, work out our salvation. We don’t just continue to live as we always lived. If we did, no conversion actually happened. We have to allow God’s grace and mercy, through Christ, to act on us to continue to bring change into our lives. What often happens though is we allow ourselves to continue to be influenced by the world, more than by Christ. That is what makes our conversion, our transformation, more of a journey than a moment. That means our work is not done, but more importantly that God’s not done working on us. He is always looking to do something new in us and we must be looking for where He is at work and partner with Him on the journey.

This is not something we can do on our own. We can’t just decide to be better, to live better, to follow a prescribed way of life that will make us holier. We need power that is not our own to live the way we were meant to live. We need God’s Spirit at work within us in all areas of our life.

Take a look at this scripture from Ephesians 2:

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions —it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith —and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

First I want to note what happens at that initial moment of conversion. I love the words in there that say “but God.” No matter what has happened before, God has now stepped in and it doesn’t matter anymore. “But God” comes and brings salvation, life, wholeness, grace, mercy and all righteousness. No Christian should ever see themselves as better than any other person because we have had a past that has been forgiven because of the “but God” moment in our lives as does every other Christian, and everyone who has yet to believe has that gift readily available to them as well. They can have their “but God” moment, too.

But it doesn’t stop there. Notice the last scripture—we are God’s workmanship—he is working on us, but not just for our good—for  the work that he has prepared for us. We weren’t saved just so we could say we are saved. We weren’t saved just so we can get to Heaven. We were saved to do the work of God.

And that is why conversion may begin at a specific moment, but is really a continual journey in our lives. Conversion is something that is always taking place. We are being transformed into the people of Christ. We are clay on the potter’s wheel, in the process of being shaped into something unique and one-of-a-kind. Something that has a specific purpose in the Kingdom of God.

This is why we cannot stop moving at the moment of decision to follow Christ. We have to continue to move. We have to learn what it means to follow Christ. We have to learn how to hear God’s voice instead of our own or the voice of our culture. We have to learn what His word has to say to us about who we are in Christ. We have to learn that we no longer are our own, but we were bought with a price. We have to learn that our conversion, while good for us, is not just for us. It is something to be shared. It is something that has far-reaching importance. As we move along the journey, we are to bring others along as well. Jesus tells us at the end of Matthew that we are to go and make disciples. As we become disciples of Christ and follow, it is our work to bring others along to become disciples of Christ as well.

Amazing Grace

As I hiked with my sister yesterday morning and we came across a waterfall we weren’t sure we’d see or not based on the lack of rain in the area, I was once again amazed by the grace of God and that amazing gift of His grace that he gives to us daily. Then as I was listening to some music this morning, I heard this song and thought I would share. Enjoy!