Category: Listening

Some Days are Better Than Others

I have been talking and thinking about my mind quite a bit lately, and you’ve been reading some of my thoughts about how we have the ability to choose what we focus on. Today, I need to be reminded of some of those ideas about how I am able to rise above and change my outlook, so I re-read one of my favorite posts by Kristin Armstrong from her book, Mile Markers. (She blogs here: http://milemarkers.runnersworld.com/) And since I am not really flowing with words today, I thought I would just share hers with you.

Anti-Venom

I started yesterday off on the wrong foot.

My alarm didn’t go off, somehow I switched the am and pm on my phone so we got up 12 minutes late and our mornings are timed to precision, the kids were arguing non-stop, Luke wouldn’t eat his granola because Isabelle coughed somewhere in the vicinity and it was deemed contaminated, Isabelle ripped out her ponytails twice because she said I made them uneven, my coffee got cold while I was packing lunches and when I reheated it in the microwave it burnt my tongue rendering the remainder of my day tasteless, Isabelle decided now was a good time to change the rabbit cage, Grace was taking a stand against oral hygiene despite her dragon breath, and Charlie (our Cavalier King Charles puppy) lifted his leg and peed on the corner of the kitchen island.

We made it to school with seconds to spare and I hate rushing my mornings and parting in a scramble, especially the mornings before the kids have a Daddy weekend.  I called the vet and made an appointment for the leg-lifter to get snipped.  I took big dog Mercy for a run, hoping that some hills and her steady company would restore my equilibrium, but I walked back into my house under the same cloud.  I tried to write but my desk was too littered with bills and mail to welcome creative thought, so I wasted the rest of my morning idea-less, excavating stacks of paper.

And then, out of nowhere, it hit me.  The only way I was going to snap out of my sour was with a serious intervention.  With sudden clarity, I knew that if I did not flood my poisonous mood with the anti-venom, my day and I were going down.  For those of you who watch less Animal Planet than I do or who did not win the science fair in high school (I really did), let me explain that anti-venom is created when a tiny bit of venom is introduced into a subject, creating an immune response that generates antibodies that fight the venom.  These antibodies can be harvested and used on behalf of others.  In my particular moody case, the anti-venom would consist of the antibodies of kindness,specifically the unspoken kind.  What I mean is, the thoughts or gestures we think about but don’t make time to say or do.  I got quiet with my grumpy self and thought about the previous few days, combing my existence for the things that struck me but were quickly dismissed.  I wrote them down.  I started to feel a wee bit better.  Then I took action.

1.  I called the groomer who had taken care of our old dog Boone the day before.  Boone is impossible to groom.  He’s over 12, and many moons ago he once fell off our deck in France so he’s a bit off, somewhat contorted and stiff, almost palsied.  I told her that when I drove Boone over the previous day, I was close to tears noticing his old age and overall bad state.  But after her tenderness and magic, he looked so much better, even had a newfound bit of spunk that I attributed to his fresh-do.  I told her that I understood how difficult and time-consuming it must be to work with him, but that I really appreciated her effort and I thought he looked beautiful.  She was quiet for a minute before she told me I made her week.

2. I have a dear friend Dawn who can’t stand being cold.  A mother of a cold front is blowing outside my office window as I type, and we all knew it was coming.  So yesterday I finished the scarf I had been knitting for her since before Christmas and dropped it on her doorstep with a note telling her to stay warm and I love her.

3. My coach and friend, Cassie, hates to be sick (we all hate it but she HATES it with narrowed eyes and spite) and has a nasty sinus infection.  I thought about this on Wednesday, the way that she summons her energy for her clients and friends, even when she ends up with none left to spare for herself.  I left her a message to tell her how much that meant to me.  She left word later on my voice mail that I had saved her day.

4. I wrote a note to the librarian who hosted Luke’s scout den earlier this week for our monthly meeting.  She gave us a tour of her library, making books and reference materials totally interesting to a group of ten year old boys.  She finished with a scavenger hunt, which was a giant hit as you can imagine.  She has a tremendous gift in her way with children, the kind of gift that makes you stop what you’re doing and pay attention.  She has probably heard this countless times, but I wanted her to hear it from me, in pen, on my stationary.  I mailed that.

And before I realized it had taken place, my day, my mood, my sense of humor, perspective, and appreciation had all been restored.  I am not sharing this in an,”Aw, Look How Sweet I Am” kind of way.  I’m sharing this in a, “Holy Crap Was I Sour” kind of way.  I wonder how often we make a swift mental note of something or someone meaningful and it slides into oblivion because we are in such a blasted hurry all the time.

I want to encourage you, no I flat out dare you, to try this infusion of light the next time your mood goes dark.  It was the fastest road I have ever taken to getting back on track, so from one runner to another, I share the route with you.

So, what kind of anti-venom do you need to infuse into your life today?

Just Asking

Saturday was my birthday and the plan was to do our longest training run in Forest Park that morning. But due to some circumstances beyond our control, we had to push our run off a day. That meant that we would leave a little later in the day on Sunday, after both Crystal and I had attended the first worship hour at our respective churches.

I woke up on Sunday joyful and excited about our run. Yes, about a 20-mile run. Joyful. I knew that we were ready and was looking forward to different scenery surrounding us during our run in St. Louis.

But something changed part-way through the worship service. I started to get apprehensive, scared, and anxious. By the end of the service, I was literally shaking and almost in tears I was so panicked. I didn’t know what was happening. And when Pastor Doug reminded the congregation that Prayer Band members were at the front and available for prayer, it was as if he was talking to me, and I turned to Mike and asked him to come with me to ask for prayer.

As we got to the front, all the Prayer Band members were busy, so I asked someone else who happened to be standing there to pray with Mike and I. Even as I tried to explain the anxiety and panic I was feeling, I was nearly overwhelmed with those feelings. Through the prayer, I could feel myself coming back to center, but not fully. As we worked our way out the door, I saw a number of people who knew my plan for the afternoon and who encouraged me and whom I asked to be praying for us as well.

By the time I got home, readied myself and all my supplies, and got in the car with Crystal, I could tell that my anxiety was dwindling, but it wasn’t until that first step on the trail that it melted away completely. From that point on, not once did I question my ability to finish the 20 miles. Not once did I even consider quitting. Even when my breathing was labored (there was pollen everywhere!), and my legs got tired, I knew we were going to finish. And finish we did.

But I know that we did it all with a covering of prayer. Prayers that were lifted for us because we asked.

Sometimes, that’s all it takes, just an ask. Reaching out for prayer when we know we can’t make it on our own. I am so thankful for those who prayed for and with us yesterday and for the way that the Lord answered their prayers. And then, when I got home last night I got a message from a high school friend who was doing some asking of her own. And I am privileged to be able to lift her situation up in prayer in the same way others did for me yesterday.

Do you need prayer today? Just ask! Leave me a message and I will be glad to pray with and for you, or grab a friend and ask them to pray.

My Father’s Eyes

Today’s post is dedicated to my dad, who is celebrating 70 years of life today.

My dad taught me so much (and still does). Everything from how to change the oil in my car to how to drywall and mud, from how to cook a good country breakfast to how to effectively tickle small children, from how to study God’s word to how to show compassion and care for those in need. He is my Daddy. He is my mentor. He is my example. And I want to grow up to be just like him, because he has grown up to be just like Christ.

This song is for him today. I have sung it many times and have meant every word every time.

Happy Birthday, Daddy! I love you!

Who do you want to grow up to be like?

Win, Lose, or Draw? or Why We Ended our No Sugar Family Challenge One Week Early

Back in January, I let you all in on our Family Challenge of going from January 5 to March 24 without sugar or sweets in our house or in our mouths.

This past Saturday, March 17, we ended our challenge one week early.

Why? After all, there was only one week to go, and surely, if we had made it that far we could make it one more week, right?

Well, first of all let me say, my family did a WONDERFUL job of making good choices over the last couple of months. My kids said no to things that they wanted very badly including candy, cupcakes, and ice cream. They ate natural peanut butter (that they weren’t big fans of). They went without cereal for breakfast. They drank water at restaurants. And with the exception of a couple of innocent mistakes (marketing people are so sneaky – they put 100% natural on a drink and to a kid that sounds like it shouldn’t have sugar in it – grr!) and our purposeful break when Anne and I went to Chicago, I would deem the challenge as successful.

Until one day last week when my kids were “hungry” and decided that they needed to have a snack of brown sugar. Yes, I did say brown sugar. No,  I don’t know why. While most of the other sweets in the house were either pitched or hidden, there were other options like chocolate chips and sugar-free candy that they could have chosen.

We had a nice long conversation about it and what it comes down to is they had a moment of weakness. Just like we all do at times.

But as Mike and I reflected on it the next couple of days, it seemed to us that where it had started out as a Family Challenge, at some point it had begun to feel like punishment to our kids. Their hearts weren’t in it for the challenge anymore and they were seeing it as mom and dad not letting them have sugar (because mom and dad are mean!). And this is NOT the message that we wanted to be giving.

This challenge was about learning that we don’t need sugar and sweets to survive and we can have self-control and say no. This challenge was about doing something together as a family that was good for us. And when we realized that it wasn’t a positive thing anymore, we decided to end it. (And it didn’t hurt that my favorite holiday was a week before our original end date.)

So I made the kids cupcakes and we told them on Saturday morning that the sugar fast was over.

You would have thought we told them that we won the lottery. They were so excited. And since then they have wanted to eat every sugary substance in sight. They whined when I wouldn’t buy them sugary cereal, but instead bought Cheerios, Rice Chex, and Rice Krispies. They whined when I wouldn’t buy them donuts at the grocery store. They whined when I wouldn’t buy them a KitKat. They whined when I wouldn’t let them eat a cupcake for breakfast.

Yep. I guess that means that life is back to normal at the Ennen house. Mom trying to help the family make good choices and them whining about it. 🙂

What do you think? Should we have ended the challenge early? Why or why not?

Parenting: Not for the Weak of Heart

Some days I love being a parent. I love the snuggles. I love the laughter. I love the fun. I love the energy. I love seeing their faces in the mornings. I love kissing them good night. I love when I see them growing  and learning and becoming responsible little people.

And then there are those other times. Those times when they are screaming at one another. Those times when they won’t listen and just do what you ask them to. Those times when you want to ring their little necks. (Not that you ever would actually ring their necks, but you’ve thought about it, haven’t you?)

And somewhere in the midst of all of this, we realize that we really know nothing about being a parent and we need help. We also realize for every time we rejoice with our kids, that’s how God rejoices with us. And for every time we grieve their behavior and the consequences they must go through, that must be how God feels when we fail him as well.

Tuesday night was one of those parenting nights for me where I was struggling. We thought we lost a kid. Mike thought she was one place, but she wasn’t. She was with Ty, who had asked to go someplace, but had failed to say Anne was going, too. We found her and it was ok, but the reason I went looking for her was because of something else that I had discovered she and Ty had done and about which they needed to be corrected. And I was angry.  More like fuming. I admit I was tired, I was worn out from some meetings I had just left, and I was frustrated because what I found when I got home wasn’t what I was expecting to find. So when the time came to actually deal with Anne, I was literally praying under my breath as I entered her room because I was trying not to explode.

And God is good. And He quickly brought me under control. And for the next 30 minutes Anne and I had a wonderful talk about what she had done and why it was wrong and the fact that sin is not hidden from God and sometimes when kids do wrong, the Lord helps parents to see it so that the kids can be corrected. We talked about the fact that God and our parents love us just the way we are, but that both God and our parents are working to mold us into the people the God wants us to be. We had some good time where I spoke truth into her life and some time when we talked about the consequences of our actions. And in the end, she was repentant and accepting of what I had to say.

And then I went to talk to Ty and tried to talk to him about some of these same things and while I am pretty sure he answered all my questions the right way and he followed through with the appropriate apologies and such, I never really saw a repentant heart. Maybe it was there and he was just hiding it in his attempt to be Ty and deflect through humor, but what a difference between my two kids.

I went to bed exhausted. I was completely spent from that hour or two between when I got home and I got into my bed. Parenting well must be really hard, because I am not sure how well I am doing and it is pretty difficult some days.

But just like God doesn’t give up on us, I can’t and won’t give up on my kids. I will continue to take the hard road of both love and discipline. Even when it is hard. Even when it hurts my heart. Even when it exhausts me. Because I want my children to become the people who God has created them to be. I want them to understand that correction is a part of life – both as children and as adults. I want them to understand that we are responsible for our actions. And I want them to know that they are loved, even when they make mistakes.

Because that is true for all of us. We have a Father who loves us, even when we make mistakes. And for this I am thankful.

What challenges are you facing as a parent?

Where Do We Start When We Need to Stop Perpetuating Bad Choices?

(Warning – this post may appear to be simply a rant, but it is in fact my heart crying out for our children. Please read it that way.)

I have spent a significant amount of time as an adult re-educating myself about food and exercise. I have spent countless months trying to re-program my body to not want to eat sweets. I have worked very hard to come to a point where I enjoy exercise and can’t imagine going without it for more than a couple of days. I continue to spend money on food that costs more because it is healthier and can’t believe how much cheaper it would be if I ate badly. And I am really trying to teach my children these things so that they don’t face the same trials I have faced when it comes to food and exercise.

And because this is something I am passionate about, I have some major questions about food and activity choices that are going on at homes and schools around our country.

  • Why do we give food-based rewards?
  • Why do schools show movies during recess (or even worse P.E., which, after all does stand for PHYSICAL EDUCATION) – Is 30 degrees going to kill them? Is water on the playground going to hurt them?
  • Chocolate milk, really?
  • Sweet snacks during testing? How about offering some REAL food – fruits, veggies, etc.
  • Why do we need to bring candy, cookies, and cupcakes to school for every occasion (birthdays, Valentine’s Day, etc.)?
  • Can’t we have a party without ice cream or pizza or sweets of some kind? Or a party that lets them play outside on the playground instead of watching a movie inside?
  • And I suppose at least if they are going to play video games, Just Dance is an active one, and I applaud that as a better reward than ice cream and candy, but video games in school?

I am afraid that we are raising up yet another generation of obese, lazy people who don’t know how to eat right, exercise or even how to approach food. Food is not a reward, it is a necessity for our bodies to function. Bad food in, bad body function. Good food in, good body function, good brain function, etc. We need to be educating our children both at home and in our schools so they have a healthy view of health – which includes a healthy view of food, exercise, and life choices.

My kids and I continually talk about the fact that I am not withholding food from them and that it is not punishment to be sugar-free for 3 months, instead it is a learning experience whereby we can find out that we don’t need it. And if they learn these things as children, my hope is that they never have to blog about their weight-loss journey because they never have the need to go on that journey. I don’t want them to be obsessed with the scale like I can be at times. I want them to live long, healthy, happy lives. I want them to eat healthily and exercise because it will help ward off heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and so many other diseases that can be caused by our bad food, exercise and health choices, but I want them to do it because they want to and they enjoy it, not because they have to.

But I can only do so much when my kids are being bombarded with messages at school that go contrary to what I am telling them and showing them at home.

But what do I do about it? Where do I even begin to change a flawed system full of people who have different ideals than me? How do we spread the word that education is about more than just reading, writing, and arithmetic. More than about doing well on tests. More than about simply finishing an assignment and getting a piece of candy for doing it.

Education should be whole. When kids are learning about the body and how it works, shouldn’t they be learning about nutrition and being offered nutritious foods? When kids are learning how to play a game in P.E., shouldn’t they be learning that it isn’t just about the game but about staying active? Shouldn’t kids be learning that there is satisfaction that comes from completing something that you are supposed to do, and not be bribed with candy to do something they needed to do anyway?

I have way more questions than answers about this subject, but this is where my mind has been lately and I am not sure where to go with it.

I am sure you all have opinions as well. What do you think? Where do you fall? What would you do?

Let’s talk about it. Leave me your comments and questions in the comments section of this blog. Maybe we can come up with some answers.

Rewiring

Lately I have been bombarded with the idea of changing the way I think.

Three different books, as well as some Scripture, have been pounding this idea to me over and over.

The marathon training book I have been reading each week (The Non-Runner’s Marathon Trainer) is constantly talking about how the psychological game is just as important, if not more so, than the physiological one. It has given me ideas about how to approach tough runs, long runs, distractions, and so much more by changing my perspective and the way that I think about it. And it works. On Wednesday this week I had a terrible run. I felt sluggish, slow, and didn’t feel like I could finish, but I made the decision that my body was able to do it and I wasn’t quitting until it was done. And guess what? I finished.

The book I am reading with my friend, Tina, (The Me I Want to Be) has also been talking about our mind and how we need to change how we think if we want to change ourselves. My favorite line is this, “You cannot get rid of the skunk odor without getting rid of the skunk.” He goes on to talk about how we need to monitor our thoughts so that we can reset them to a better frequency, or in another example he uses, setting the thermostat to create a target climate. “It is a constant process, but the goal is for the system to create a life-giving climate.” We don’t choose to stop thinking negative thoughts, but rather we choose to “set our minds on those thoughts that equip us for life.” Our thought life has enormous power over us, and we can choose how that power is used.

Then, in the book I am reading just for fun (Mile Markers) I ran across this quote last night:

So, now you can see why rewiring the mind is on my mind these days. I guess I need to keep working on that.

What ways do you need to rewire your mind?

Dreams Do Come True

I am a day late with my Monday post this week because I was busy celebrating Anne’s birthday yesterday.

Yes, Anne’s birthday was back in January, but this weekend she got the birthday present that was promised back then: a trip to Chicago and the American Girl store.

She was anticipating this trip, but it wasn’t scheduled to happen until later this month. But last week, Mike and I decided to surprise her, so Sunday after I taught Kids’ Church, Anne and I left for Chicago. It was her first trip there (and my first trip driving there on my own). She was blown away by the size of the buildings and the number of people on Michigan Avenue. She told me she felt so small. She held my hand as we walked around because she was a little scared. But overall she was just excited – we were staying on the 19th floor of a hotel and the pool was on the 30th floor and it was all so exciting for her.

We saw Chicago from the John Hancock Observatory and she took tons of pictures. We ate Chicago-style pizza from Giordanos – she said it was the best pizza she has ever eaten. We took a two-day hiatus from our sugar fast and she enjoyed Hershey’s Chocolate Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory.

And then, we spent most of Monday at American Girl Place. The girl was in her element. She found her doll – Julie from 1974 (which was a good year – my birth year!) – got Julie’s accessories, bunny, and a couple changes of clothes. She got her picture taken so it looks like the cover of American Girl Magazine. She got Julie’s hair done at the salon. We had a wonderful four-course meal with Julie. And we did all of this on Anne’s schedule. We looked at what she wanted to look at for as long as she wanted to look at it. We sat and she changed Julie’s clothes while we waited for our van from the valet. We took pictures – lots of them. We just had a wonderful time together.

At the end of the trip, Anne told me that it was more than she had even dreamed about. It was so much fun, and so big, and so much more than she could have imagined. Her dream of a trip to Chicago with her mom and getting her American Girl doll had more than come true.

And so had mine. Only my dream was different. Mine was just to enjoy the time with my daughter. Talking together, playing together, laughing together, sharing together, and making memories together. And I got all of that and more.

On the way home yesterday, Anne was picking music on the iPod and she picked a song that we both love, but she picked it purposefully this time. And then sang a portion of it as she looked at me. And an even bigger dream of mine came true – my daughter communicating with me in a way that I communicate – through music that is heartfelt and comes from deep down.

Needless to say, I had the best day. 🙂

How are you making memories with those that you love?

Still Learning

Today is March 1 – the beginning of my birthday month. I will be 38 in 24 days. That means in two years I will be 40. Yikes! How did that happen? Where did the time go? I mean, I knew that I entered grown-up land a number of years ago, but as a kid, 40 seemed sooooooo old. And here I am, sooooooo close to it.

You know what else I didn’t realize? That at the age of 37 11/12, I would be learning as much, if not more, about life and about myself as I was as a child, teenager and 20-something.

  • Who knew that I would learn in my 30’s that I could push my body to new limits and run 7 half-marathons?
  • Who knew that I would be able to push past even that to train for a full marathon – and feel good about it?
  • Who knew that in my late 30’s I would add a new piece to my identity – runner?
  • Who knew that I could change my whole view of food and exercise and subsequently lose 50 pounds and go down 3-4 clothing sizes in less than a year?
  • Who knew that God would call me to vocational ministry in my 30’s?
  • Who knew that He would grow a desire in me to read more and more non-fiction books (since I have always been a fiction kind of gal) that would teach me so much about Him, and life, and myself?
  • Who knew that He would also grow a desire in me to meet with various people – one on one and in groups – to spur one another on to more learning (and more questions which prompt more learning) on a regular basis?

I could go on an on about the ways that I am learning from God, from books, from friends. I could go on and on about what I am learning about who God is, about who I am in Christ, about running, about ministry, about friendship, about weight loss, about health, about God’s love and provision and grace. (And I haven’t even touched what I learn about marriage and parenting on a regular basis!)

We often think we finish school and we stop learning. But that is really our choice. We can stop learning. Or we can continue to learn. We can open up our eyes to everyday things that teach us. We can read. We can ask questions. We can search things out.

I don’t know about you, but I really like knowing that I don’t know it all – even about myself – and there is more to learn. Bring it on!

What are you learning these days?

Freedom

Freedom.

It is what I experience when I run. It is what I feel when I worship. It is the life I live in Christ.

And yet so many others live in bondage. Whether it is literal slavery or spiritual bondage, God’s command is for us to care for them and bring justice and freedom.

But we don’t. That may be because we choose to ignore it, choose to stay busy and involved in our own lives or because we just don’t know what to do to change it.

Yesterday was Freedom Sunday and in church we heard from one of my friends who is working to end modern-day slavery through the organization, Not for Sale. We also heard Pastor Doug relate stories about the World War II era and how everyone was doing something for the war effort. Women joined the workforce in jobs typically held by men. Retired men went back to work. Kids saved aluminum gum wrappers. And so much more. And people talked about how they were supporting the war.

All afternoon I kept asking myself how I was supporting the war effort in regards to slavery and in regards to human souls.

It is easy to say, “but I don’t know what I can do.” It is hard to get past that and actually look for what we can do. Or so we think. But it really isn’t that hard. How much time do we spend on Facebook or watching TV each day? What if we spent a little time on the Not for Sale website and researched how we could get involved instead? Something as easy as downloading an app for your phone that can help you make decisions as you shop based on whether or not the manufacturer is known to use forced labor in their production process can be a start. And who knows what else you will be prompted to do.

There are things we can do. There are things we are called to do. We just need to ask the Lord to show us what our place is in His liberating work. And then we need to follow through and take our place.

How are you supporting the war effort?