Category: Listening

With a Little Help from My Friends…

Anne ty school 2010Yesterday (August 19) was the first day of school for my kids. The morning began rather smoothly as Ty was super-excited (in a bouncing off the walls kind of way) about starting first grade. Anne got her shower and got dressed, and then came out and, almost in tears, asked me to help her comb her hair (which was extremely tangled due to her NOT combing her hair for a couple of days, despite reminders from mom.) As I worked to gently remove the tangles from her hair, Ty came out pretending to strangle one of Anne’s stuffed animals. Well, that brought the almost tears out in full force.

Once the hair was de-tangled, I invited Anne to come and sit on my lap and talk. (No, 4th grade is not to old to sit on mom’s lap.) I asked her what was going on, and once we got past the tangles, the tired, and the strangled bear, she confessed that she was afraid. She told me third grade was a little hard, and she was worried that fourth grade was going to be even harder.

What do you say to that? I can’t tell her that it won’t be – because it will be. I can’t just tell her it’s going to be alright – because it might not seem like it to her. So prayed a silent, “Give me words, Lord,” and hugged her close.

I told her it probably would be a little harder, but that would be true every year of school, and with most everything in life. I told her that when she feels overwhelmed she needs to ask for help – from God, from me, from Mike, from Grammy and PaPa, or from her teacher. I told her that we weren’t meant to go through life alone – that’s why we are part of a family and a community. And I told her that the church website that I have been working on for weeks would never have come together in time if I hadn’t asked my co-workers and friends for their help.

So, if all this is true, why is it that we don’t ask for help more often? Pride? Embarrassment? A need to be able to handle it all on our own? I know I am terribly guilty of trying to do it all by myself and not ask for any help – whether that be at home or at work. We are reminded throughout the Bible that we are to care for one another – which assumes that someone else knows we need help, which means we need to ask for it, and accept it when it is offered.

Anne stopped crying and accepted my words and ended up having a fine day at school. Now I just need to make sure I am modeling what it means to ask for help when I need it – and give help when it is needed from me.

Fall Into Me

Maybe it is because I’m tired today. Or maybe it is because yesterday was a crazy one at work. Or maybe it is because life is just overwhelming sometimes. All I know is that this morning I was overtaken by a song that I really listened to for the first time. And I know it wasn’t written in the way I heard it, but what I heard was my Lord singing these words to me:

Listen to it here.

 

Fall Into Me

When the weight of the world bears down so strong you leave footprints on the street
And there’s too many miles to face without a few more hours sleep
The storm clouds overhead won’t shed any rain to quench your thirst
I wanna be the one you reach for first

When your faith is stretched so thin that you can see straight through your soul
And you can’t find a nickel to buy a smile ‘cause your pockets all got holes
You wanna shut the door and hide before the day can get much worse
I wanna be the one you reach for first

Chorus:
Fall into me
My arms are open wide
And you don’t have to say a word
‘Cause I already see
That it’s hard and you’re scared
And you’re tired and it hurts
And I wanna be the one you reach for first

I wanna be the bottle you’ve been drinking with your eyes
Or the road you run away on you’ve been running all your life
The third row pew that you last knew as a child in church
I wanna be the one you reach for first

Repeat Chorus

Before you turn the key
Before you fall asleep
Before you drift away to fight those demons waiting for you in your dreams
Before your arms are stretched wide open
Before you reach into the sky
Before you’re searching for direction and all the answers to your why’s
Fall into me

Oh, my arms are stretched wide open
You don’t have to say a word
Because I already see
That it’s hard and you’re scared
And you’re tired and I know it hurts
Yes, it’s hard and you’re scared
And you’re tired and it hurts
And I wanna be the one you reach for first

© 2008 Jennifer Nettles

As I heard these words, I just felt like I was being held in the arms of this loving God who wants to be the one we go to when life is hard, when we are scared, when we are hurting, when we are overwhelmed. Isn’t this exactly what he said to us in Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”? And yet, we don’t run to Him first. All of us have that person, that attitude, that habit, or something that we run to in those times of trial. Maybe not always; maybe sometimes we remember that our Father is waiting for us, but the truth of the matter is that we still don’t always reach for Him first.

 

I know that I am so guilty of that sometimes. When the day has been truly hard or stressful I may run to my TV for a little “veg” time, or grab my book for some “escape” time, or pick up the phone or plop down next to Mike for some “vent” time. But this isn’t the best I could do. Perhaps if I/we were reaching for comfort in the arms of our Father, we wouldn’t be so quick to look for escape, or we wouldn’t allow ourselves to get so worked up that we feel like we have to vent.

 

So here’s my challenge (and yours) for today. Let’s take Jesus at His word and come to Him when we are weary and burdened. Let’s accept His yoke and His rest. Let’s reach for Him first.

Easy and Hard

Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality

So I am reading this book for the fourth time. My friend Jaclyn and I are reading it together and talking about what we are learning. As we discussed the first two chapters yesterday, what I kept coming back to is the concept of easy vs. hard.

For example:

  • Do we teach our children (both at home and at church) to follow the rules and guidelines of what it means to lead a holy life (easy) or do we teach them how to have a relationship with God and listen for his leading about what it means to be holy (hard)?
  • Do we tell the truth even if it means exposing our weakness (hard) or dow we make excuses, rationalizations, or even lay blame somewhere other than ourselves (easy)?
  • Do we pray thinking that just maybe God will hear and give us what we want (easy) or do we really fall to our knees in authentic, heart wrenching prayer asking for HIS will to be done (hard)?
  • Do we give in to a sin nature (easy) or do we strive to live up to the nature of Christ in us (hard)?
  • Do we make choices based on what our family has always done (i.e. the party we vote for) (easy) or do we really take the time to make a decision that fits us and where we believe God would have us stand (hard)?
  • Do we let our marriage just go on as is (easy) or do we put in the hard work to help our relationship grow (hard)?
  • Do we expect someone else to make the changes necessary in the world (easy) or do we take responsibility for our own actions and make the necessary changes in us (hard)?

One of the most poignant questions in the book for me is, “Do I want social justice for the oppressed or do I just want to be known as a socially active person?” Once again the first half of this question is hard and the second half is easy. I wonder if each of us would really sit down with the question (or fill in the blanks with another issue – Do I really want to be known as someone who loves God and shares my faith, or just as someone who is religious and goes to church?) and consider the answer. Would we be willing to take the hard road instead of the easy one – even if no one else around us is on that road with us?

I find myself dreaming about what our world would be like if we all were taking the hard road. If, instead of always thinking about ourselves and what we need (easy), we would think about others and how we could meet their needs (hard). If instead of buying ourselves a new toy (easy) we were to use that money to make sure that someone who hadn’t eaten in a week or two had a meal (hard).

Think about it. Take a step out on the hard road. I’m going to.

Lunch and Laughter

“A cheerful heart is good medicine…” Proverbs 17:22

I’ve been thinking about this verse for the last 24 hours or so. I met a friend for lunch yesterday who, when asked how she was doing, responded with, “surviving.” We then proceeded to laugh our way through lunch. We shared with one another a little, but for the most part just spent time having fun, telling funny stories, and laughing. I have had a week that could be described as less than ideal. This one-hour lunch of laughter didn’t change the circumstances or even what I had to go back to, but it did change my attitude. And following lunch, the laughter just kept coming and it colored the rest of my day (in a good way).

Medicine is something that we take to either cure (i.e. antibiotics which kill the bacteria causing an infection) or control (i.e. diabetes medicine to control blood sugar levels). So which kind of medicine is a cheerful heart? I think it’s both. Sometimes, just having an opportunity to choose to be cheerful helps us control things like negative attitudes or unpleasant circumstances. Yet if we can figure out how to really live in the joy that comes in having Christ as our Savior, we will also find that His joy cures us – redeems us! What a promise!

I’m not sure I’m always cheerful. In fact I can pretty assuredly say I’m not. But I can say that the joy of the Lord is my strength and I’m going to work on it.

Family Vacation

Do you remember family vacations as a kid? I do and while I remember the fun we had, I really remember the grouchiness that came on the way home. Everyone was tired and ready to be home in their own bed to sleep and to have some time alone. Last week we took our longest family vacation yet – 8 days. Now to get in a car knowing that it is a 12-hour ride on the way down is a bit daunting, but we were pleasantly surprised at how well the kids travelled (previously 8 hours was the longest car ride). The close sleeping quarters for the week were the next concern since Ty is not a public sleeper – he wants to talk to or bug anyone near. But there again we had very little problem with that. Then there’s the outings, meeting new people, getting the kids to listen and behave. Wow, other than little things, they were GREAT. We really enjoyed one another’s company and had a good tiime. Anne and Ty pretty well kept one another occupied and played extremely well together with little fighting (better than at home!). By the end of the week, what I noticed was not so much the kids being ready to go home and being grouchy, but my patience level diminishing with my increased tiredness. As I was noting that about myself, I became all the more aware of how my grouchiness could impact my kids memories of their vacation if I didn’t monitor my reactions to them. One of the things that I am consistently talking to my kids about, particularly Anne, is the choices we make in how to act and react and whether or not we have control of our emotions or if we let them control us. And here I was having to make a choice about that very thing.

I think God must have a sense of humor in the way that He teaches us things sometimes. So often, the very thing that we are trying to impress upon our children, God is trying to impress upon us. Things like I say to Ty, “Obedience is required – you don’t have an option,” sometimes make me squirm and ask, “Lord, what is it that I am not being obedient to you about?” As I remind Anne that she is to be the example to her brother, I sometimes wonder if I am being a good example for them or for those around me. These life lessons that we try to teach our children are often lessons that we ourselves need to re-learn or at least brush up on.

All that to say that I did make some choices about my attitude and we ended the 12-hour drive home on the same happy (yet tired) note that we started the trip on, sharing stories about our favorite parts of the trip and just enjoying one another’s company. Another lesson re-learned for me (at least for the time being!).

Thanksgiving

This holiday is an interesting one for me. Growing up we didn’t have any kind of consistent “tradition” other than specific food items and our immediate family. Sometimes we would have extended family over, sometimes we would have church friends over, and sometimes it would just be the five of us. Whatever it was, it was always a day full of love and fun. When I got engaged, Thanksgiving was THE big holiday for Mike’s family, so we made it our tradition to have Thanksgiving dinner with the Devores at a rented hall in Mulberry Grove. Over the years the numbers have been high and low as various family members travel to different places sometimes, but the Devore Thanksgiving is always a constant. This year, the second year without Mike’s mom and Aunt Lois, there were only a select few in attendance (and no one brought mashed potatoes – a travesty in Mike’s book!), but it was a nice time of visiting and being together, even just the few of us. The afternoon nap upon returning home and just hanging out with Uncle D here at the house while I made party mix has made for a mellow Thanksgiving. But after all the busyness and craziness of the last year or two, I welcome the quietness of this day. The kids are now in bed and as I sit here and reflect, here are a few of the things I am thankful for this year:

  • My wonderful husband and the fact that we are getting closer everyday.
  • My sweet Anne, who is growing up and making me more proud of her all the time.
  • My active Ty, who makes me laugh and smile even while he’s being ornery.
  • My loving parents, who love me and my family unconditionally (and who I miss terribly this time of year!).
  • My sisters – life wouldn’t be the same if I couldn’t share it with them.
  • My nieces and nephews – those sweet voices over the phone made my heart soar today.
  • My brother-in-law, Derek – he is the best Uncle D ever!
  • My brother-in-law, Jeff – I love the fact that he is such a good husband to Steph and dad to the kids.
  • My friends – I couldn’t ask for better ones.

and most of all…

  • My Father God who has given me all these and more and who blesses me daily.

May I remember to be thankful always, and not just on Thanksgiving.

A Baby Changes Everything

(Written for the Greenville Free Methodist Church’s December newsletter)

If you know me at all, you know that music is a very important aspect of my  life. I love to hear something musically that grabs my attention, but most of the time, my initial reaction of liking a song is confirmed only when the lyrics grab me and that combination of powerful music and meaningful lyrics combine to form a piece that gets into my soul.

This phenomenon is especially true with Christmas music. I love Christmas music and listen to it every possible minute during the holiday season. My iPod boasts over 30 Christmas albums for a total of more than 375 songs. According to  iTunes, it would take me 21.4 hours to listen to my holiday playlist all the way through. And that doesn’t count the tapes and records at home that I don’t have digitized.

In all of this music, I hear different versions of the same song over and over and I love those songs, but the ones that stand out to me are the ones that are different, original, and really capture an aspect of Christmas that I hadn’t thought of in that way before.

Recently, as I was listening to the latest addition to my Christmas music collection, I found yet another one of those songs. It is sung by Faith Hill and is called, “A Baby Changes Everything.” The song tells about an unmarried teenage girl and how her life is changed by a baby. It goes on to talk of shepherds who gather around and angels who sing of this baby who has changed everything. The music is great, the lyrics fantastic, but it was the last verse of the song that gave me pause: “My whole life has turned around, I was lost but now I’m found. A baby changes everything. A baby changes everything.” I was speechless, breathless, with the gravity of that truth. A baby changed everything. The birth of Christ brought God to us in a way that wasn’t possible before. The birth of Christ made possible for us a relationship with God that we couldn’t have had before. The birth of Christ and my belief in and love for Him changes me in ways that wouldn’t be possible any other way.

Have we allowed this baby to really change us? As we walk through this season of Advent, perhaps we need to pray about and open ourselves up to the work of the Lord and really allow His spirit to penetrate our hearts and change us. Pastor Doug has been talking to us throughout the fall about harnessing the power to change. How will you harness that power and allow the birth of a baby to change everything for you?

More on the subject of Authenticity

Monday, April 16, 2007

More on the Subject of Authenticity
Current mood: contemplative

So, I am singing on Sunday in church and the song that I have chosen (at this point) is “The Real Me” by Natalie Grant. Here are the words:

Foolish heart, looks like we’re here again.
Same old game of plastic smile,
Don’t let anybody in.
Hiding my heartache,
Will this glass house break?
How much will it take before I’m empty?
Do I let it show?
Does anybody know?

But You see the real me.
Hiding in my skin, broken from within.
Unveil me completely.
I’m loosening my grasp,
There’s no need to mask my frailty
Cause You see the real me.

Painted on, life is behind a mask,
Self-inflicted circus clown.
I’m tired of the song and dance,
Living a charade, always on parade.
What a mess I’ve made of my existence.
But You love me even now
And still I see somehow…

That You see the real me.
Hiding in my skin, broken from within.
Unveil me completely.
I’m loosening my grasp,
There’s no need to mask my frailty
Cause You see the real me.

Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
When You look at me.
You’re turning the tattered fabric of my life
Into a perfect tapestry.
Oh, I just wanna be me,
I wanna be me.

 

But You see the real me.
Hiding in my skin, broken from within.
Unveil me completely.
I’m loosening my grasp,
There’s no need to mask my frailty
Cause You see the real me.

And you love me just as I am.
Wonderful, beautiful is what You see
When You look at me

Wow – what powerful words! We (especially moms) do such a good job of putting on our masks that show everything is right and good in our lives. We don’t want anyone else to know that we struggle, that we yell at our kids, that we lose our tempers, that we fight with our husbands, that sometimes we just want to run away. But if we constantly hide our true selves, then what help can we be to others and how can we find help for ourselves?

Yet, God sees us as we are and loves us anyway. Shouldn’t we love others for who they ARE rather than who they want us to see? Wouldn’t it make life so much easier if we could just be REAL with one another? I remember a scene from Desperate Housewives a year or so ago – Lynette is crying at the park and Bree and Susan are trying to comfort her. Lynette is down on herself because she is struggling as a mom. When Bree and Susan share that they have had major struggles, too, Lynette asks them why they never told her that before. I think this is how many of us feel – like we are all alone. But we are not – we just have to be willing to share a little bit more of ourselves with one another.

Currently listening :
Awaken
By Natalie Grant
Release date: 22 March, 2005