Category: Music

The World on My Shoulders

As someone who struggles with depression, I often deal with what I call “heavy” days. Those days are the ones where I feel down, pensive, like the walls are closing in, like the world is literally resting on my shoulders and I can’t lift it off. Sometimes those feelings have no discernible source. It begins and I can’t tell why and it is really hard to reverse.

Other days there are what I would call internal reasons for those feelings. A bad day of eating. Missing a run. A fight with my husband. Frustration with my kids (or myself for how I dealt with the kids). A bad day at work. These things may or may not be in my control to change, but at least I can pinpoint what is going on and attempt to turn it around.

Then there are days when I feel heavy about things I can’t fix or change quickly (or even at all if it is just me). Those societal things that just crush me. Hatred. Injustice. Judgmental people. Poverty. Bigotry. Racism. Sexism. Oppression. Division. Pride. Superiority. An “I am right and you are wrong” or “God’s on my side” mentality.

And while I know that all of those things really need to be addressed somehow, the only way for me to turn any of this around and be lifted back up out of my funk, is to remember that I am loved, and that love saves me. Daily.

It saves you, too.

Saved by Love
Amy Grant

Laura loves her little family,
And she’s the kind of woman who loves them with her life.
But sometimes in the evening,
When the world rests on her shoulders
With four walls closing in,
She’ll close her eyes.

Oh

It’s not like she misses being younger,
Though she never was in Vogue magazine or on TV;
Her husband loves her dearly,
And the morning shows her clearly,
Kisses her little baby girl.
Laura, she’s the queen of the world.

Can’t imagine ever leaving now,
Now that she’s been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love.
Listen to her quiet heart singing loud.
Laura, she’s been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love.
I know that she’s been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love.
Saved by love.

There’s nothing quite like my family’s love to warm me,
And nothing short of death’s gonna ever leave me cold.
Well, still at times it’s lonely,
But through it all it only
Makes me love Jesus more,
And this is what He came here for.

I can’t imagine ever leaving now.
Now that I’ve been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love.
He’s gone and turned my crazy world back around,
And I’ve been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love.
I know that I’ve been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love

Oh, I’m never leaving now,
Now that I’ve been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love.
He’s gone and turned my crazy world back around,
And I’ve been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love.
Amy, she’s been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love
Saved by love.

I’m saved by love.

That’s right.
And nothing I can say,
Nothing I can do, nothing I can say.

We’re all just saved by love.
Nothing you can say, nothing you can do.
Only love can say, only love can do,
Only love can say.

Only love can say, only love can do,
Only love can say.

I’m say-yay-yaved by,
I’m saved by, by,
Nothing you can do, nothing you can say,
Only love can say

The Gift of Friendship

Over the weekend, I got to spend lots of time with the person who has been my best friend since high school, Jenny. In Junior High, when she first moved to Taylorville (a town that I was a transplant into about 4 years prior), I remember seeing this girl in the hall wearing a Lincoln coat and making a rude comment to a friend along the lines of, “how dare she wear a Lincoln coat at Taylorville Jr. High.” (What is it about those Jr. High years that make girls such ugly people?) Little did I know then what the following summer would hold.

And little do I know now what it did hold. Neither of us remember how or when we met that summer, other than it had to have been through our mutual friend Lynette. All we remember is from that point on we were nearly inseparable and were adopted into each other’s families. Through high school, college, boyfriends, marriages, children, jobs, and the other stuff of life, we have always been there for one another. Sometimes we don’t physically talk for a while. There have been times when we haven’t seen one another for 6 months or more. But one thing never changes – the ease, comfort, camaraderie, laughter, lack of stress, heart connection and kindred spirit-ness of our friendship. We have a connection that can’t be explained. We know stuff about one another before any words have been exchanged. We can sense what is going on in the other person’s mind from three hours away. It is beautiful. And it is rare. And we don’t take it for granted.

And this weekend we noticed something else. Our boys have that same kind of connection. They are cut from the same cloth. They have a ball with one another. They are so much like us. They are so much like each other. And it is a wonderful thing (though chaotic at times).

I have many other close friendships, and I am so thankful for each and every one. Friendships are a gift from God. From my longest friend (April), to my newest friends (all you Bacon Lovers), and all the ones in between, my life is richer because of my friendships. And I am thankful that my children get to see me grow and develop good and healthy friendships with many different people, so that they, too, can learn to develop good and lasting friendships in their lives as well. This song goes out to all my friends today. Thank you for enriching my life!

Have you taken time to develop any of your friendships lately? Or thank God for the friends He had given you?

My Father’s Eyes

Today’s post is dedicated to my dad, who is celebrating 70 years of life today.

My dad taught me so much (and still does). Everything from how to change the oil in my car to how to drywall and mud, from how to cook a good country breakfast to how to effectively tickle small children, from how to study God’s word to how to show compassion and care for those in need. He is my Daddy. He is my mentor. He is my example. And I want to grow up to be just like him, because he has grown up to be just like Christ.

This song is for him today. I have sung it many times and have meant every word every time.

Happy Birthday, Daddy! I love you!

Who do you want to grow up to be like?

Sweet Little Lies

This morning I am thinking about the little lies we tell ourselves.

Here is the context.

When I run, there are some days when it is easier than others. Some days I push harder than others. Some days just plain stink. But it doesn’t matter which of these is true for me to lie to myself. I may tell myself that if I could just get to the stop sign, then I could walk, knowing full well that when I get to the stop sign I won’t let myself walk. And there are a couple of hills that kick my butt every time, but instead of them being my nemesis, I convince myself that they are my friend and we are just running along together. I’m still struggling at the top of the hill, so it hasn’t changed anything at all except my ability to push myself through that tough spot. Probably the best one that I tell myself is when I am in bed –  that when I get up and go for a run, it will be easy. But it’s never easy to start. And yet, these things I tell myself, that some other part of my brain totally knows aren’t true, work. They help me push through the tough stuff, they convince me to keep going. It blows my mind that it actually works.

Sometimes I tell myself lies in other areas, too. Even though my stomach is growling and I want to eat everything in sight, I tell myself I am not hungry and can wait for lunch. 🙂

As a fun Thursday post, I am curious what lies you tell yourself throughout the day, just to get through. Yes, there are some lies we tell ourselves that aren’t good and may actually be detrimental to ourselves, but those aren’t the ones I am concerned about today.

What sweet little lies do you tell yourself?

(And yes, I am totally singing “Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies. Tell me lies, tell me, tell me lies” in my head thanks to the title of this post. So if you are singing it now and need to hear the whole song, here it is.)

I Need You

So, the Love Challenge has my mind going 100 miles an hour trying to figure out the best ways to show Mike that I love him. (And he only reads my blog every couple of months, so I am hoping he doesn’t read this until AFTER the challenge is over. :)). While I was thinking about what I am going to do today, I was reminded of this song, I Need You, by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill.

The idea that there are certain things that I need Mike to help me battle (not whiskey and cigarettes, like Tim’s verse, but other things), is true. There are certain things that help me cope with life that he provides. I need him. The thing is, our lives often get so busy that we forget that we need one another to get through. We begin to think we can do it all on our own.

The same thing is true of the Lord. We need Him. We can’t do it on our own, but we try. And it isn’t long before we find out that we can’t do it all on our own. But sometimes, our pride won’t let us go and ask for the help we need at that point. We continue to try to tough it out until we are so beat down, so immersed in our problems, that we feel like we’ll never get out.

But all it takes is for us to swallow our pride and admit we need help. We need our spouses. We need our God. We need our friends. We need to do life together in community. We are not meant to be solitary individuals, but part of a larger whole where we all need one another.

And when we recognize that we need one another and we need the Lord, we also recognize that life isn’t all about “me.”

So, who do you need today? Where do you need to swallow some pride and admit that you can’t do it all on your own?

I Hope You’re Happy

So this morning on my way into work, my kids were going nuts over the less than one inch of snow that was on the ground and continued to fall. I looked at them and said, “I hope you are happy,” which reminded me of a song that I proceeded to play on my iPod while we all sang along. The song was Defying Gravity from Wicked. (If you haven’t heard it – or if you have and love it – here’s a link to it.)

After listening to the song, I couldn’t help but feel energized for the day. The idea that nothing and no one has the power to hold me down tied in nicely to the book study I began with my friend Tina this week. We started The Me I Want to Be by John Ortberg. As we talked yesterday we both loved the term he uses to describe what it is like to be and embrace the person that God created us to be. Flourish. When we are who we are supposed to be, we flourish. When we are operating in the ways that God has created us to operate, we flourish. When we are doing the things that our hearts long to do, we flourish. We defy gravity. We can’t be held down.

And that is energizing. And those thoughts and reminders started my day off on an amazing high that continues through spreadsheets, phone calls, and to-do lists that get longer instead of shorter.

Maybe I should listen to this song every morning. 😉

What is bringing you energy today?

Monday Music 2

Sunday morning we sang a song that I enjoy. But I enjoyed it even more when we were listening to it in the van this afternoon and my kids were singing it and talking about how much they loved it. And when we got home, we talked a bit about the scripture from which this song comes, Luke 1.

Mary’s Song

46And Mary said:

“My soul glorifies the Lord
47 and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
48 for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
49 for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is his name.
50 His mercy extends to those who fear him,
from generation to generation.
51 He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
52 He has brought down rulers from their thrones
but has lifted up the humble.
53 He has filled the hungry with good things
but has sent the rich away empty.
54 He has helped his servant Israel,
remembering to be merciful
55 to Abraham and his descendants forever,
just as he promised our ancestors.”

My soul magnifies the Lord today – He has done and continues to do great things for me.

Take a listen. I guarantee that you’ll be singing along by the end of the song.

What are you glorifying the Lord for in your life today?

Monday Music

It’s Monday. And I’m sick. And that means my brain isn’t working very well. So, instead of trying to write something that would likely not make any sense at all to anyone, I thought I would just share with you one of my favorite Christmas songs. Enjoy!!


“Where Are You Christmas”

Where are you Christmas
Why can’t I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can’t I hear music playMy world is changing
I’m rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I’m not the same one
See what the time’s done
Is that why you have let me go

Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time

I feel you Christmas
I know I’ve found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love

Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love

Practicing Thanksgiving – Revisited

As the month of November has come to a close, I wanted to be able to look back on all 30 of the things I listed on Facebook that I was (am) thankful for, so here’s my list:

  1. Today, I am thankful for a friend who met me to walk this morning without whom I would have probably stayed in bed.
  2. Today I am thankful for my hubby, Mike. He works so hard to provide for his family, and when he is on 3-11, survives on not a lot of sleep so he can take our kids to school since that is the only time he sees them on this shift. I am blessed to have such a good husband and I love doing things to spoil him (like making him Pumpkin Toffee Cheesecake) since he is usually the one spoiling me. 🙂
  3. Today I am thankful for my small group (Mike, Kimberly, Mark, John, Curt, Michelle) and especially Scott, who would do anything to help out at any time, including running kids to and fro. I love you all and am so glad that we get to do life together!!
  4. Today I am thankful for the friends that God has blessed me with. Friends that bring me breakfast, lunch, and hot cups of what’s the point. Friends that know me well enough to know I am having a bad day from a text. Friends that pray for and with me. Friends I can laugh with, talk with, cry with, and just sit with. Thank you all for your friendship!
  5. Today I am thankful for my family and a lazy day at home with them that will include snuggles, games, tv, homemade smoked pulled pork, homemade pumpkin pie, tickles, giggles and lots of love!
  6. Today I am thankful for my couch. It is the place where I spend time with family and friends, where I nap, where I read and study. The place where snuggles and tickles abound and memories are made and remembered.
  7. Today I am thankful for a job that I love that is right where God has placed me for the last 11 years. I am thankful that where I work is filled with co-workers that are also amazing friends.
  8. Today I am thankful for my son, Ty. He is opinionated, creative, fun-loving, imaginative, energetic, and so much more. He brings a smile to my face (almost) every time I look at him. God has taught me so much using Ty!
  9. Today I am thankful for a pastor (and boss) who is sensitive to the Lord’s leading, sets a good example for all of us in the ways he leads, takes responsibility, and does his best to glorify God.
  10. Today I am thankful for things like heated car seats, warm showers, and cozy sweatshirts. And the fact that I don’t have to be outside for my job when it is cold outside. Good things to be thankful for on that first really cold morning of the season. (And Lillard Luttrell, if you call me today from the beach, I will come through the phone and hurt you. Badly.)
  11. Today I am thankful for all of those who have served, are serving, and will serve our country in the military. People like Lynette Mellor, Jennifer Weiss, Steve Donnan, Jennifer Donnan, and so many more. THANK YOU for serving our country!  ‎Patrick N Carrie Davis-Lent – this includes you!
  12. Today I am thankful for music. Music can lift me up, it can feel with me, it can unleash feelings I can’t put words to, it can bring me closer to people, it can be an avenue to hear the Lord speak, and it can just bring absolute joy and fun. I especially am thankful that I get to share my love of music with my kids. ( We watched the CMA awards together last night.)
  13. Today I am thankful for that wonderful thing called the Sunday afternoon nap and I am already looking forward to my date with my couch this afternoon.
  14. Today I am thankful for opportunities to enjoy God’s creation, particularly with my kids. Taking nature walks, looking at clouds, enjoying the moon, etc. I see things so much more through the eyes of my children and love it!
  15. Today I am thankful for my Lord and Savior. I’m thankful for the ways that He has saved me, and continues to do so. I am thankful for the ways that I learn from Him through His word and His people. I am thankful that even when I fall short (which is often), His grace abounds.
  16. Today I am thankful for my daughter, Anne. She is (usually) quick to help, especially when it comes to cooking these days. She has a big heart and is always looking out for others. Even though she is growing up fast, she still has a child-like joy about life. We are blessed by the gift we have in Anne!
  17. Today I am thankful for the unexpected. A previously unplanned lunch with my husband. A note from a friend that is just what I need. A smile from my kids. A laugh after reading a blog post. Sometimes it’s just the little things that make a big difference.
  18. Today I am thankful to be part of a worship team that not only practices music but also practices prayer and devotion to God. I have missed spending time with these wonderful people of God. It is good to be back.
  19. Today I am thankful for my middle sister, Seffie. I love our talks. I love the fact that she is always looking out for me. I love her good heart. I love the fact that she is my lifelong friend. — with Stephanie Luttrell Hammer.
  20. Today I am thankful for days of rest. They are rejuvenating. They give us a reboot. They help us just stop in this society of constant go. Thank you, Lord for the example and command of Sabbath rest.
  21. Today I am thankful for Family Game Night. It had been awhile since we had one, but we always have fun when we do and last night was no exception. I love spending time with my family without electronic forms of entertainment and with good fun and conversation. 🙂
  22. Today I am thankful for parents who raised me “in the way I should go.” They taught me not just right and wrong, but what it really means to be a person of integrity who follows Christ in all I do. They taught me what love is and provide amazing examples of what marriage should look like, how to parent, and how to care for others. I love you! — with Kathryn Davis Luttrell and Lillard Luttrell.
  23. Today I am thankful for the reminder that just like I am attentive to, and always willing to get up for my sick son in the middle of the night, my Father God is always watching over me and knows where I am, what is happening in my life and is always taking care of me.
  24. Today I am thankful for family. Since Mike’s mom died, Thanksgiving has been a hard day, but today we will be surrounded by the Ennen side of the family who is so glad to have us as a part of the day. Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
  25. Today I am thankful for the whole family sleeping in and then just hanging out in bed with my hubby.
  26. Today I am thankful for the wonderful benefits of living in a small town. I love the community events that are put on where we get to enjoy one another’s company as we walk around downtown or check out the lights display at the Farm Heritage Museum. I love running into friends and hanging out with them. I love being able to run through town and see people I know. And I am so glad that we are raising our kids here.
  27. Today I am thankful for worship. What a wonderful thing to be able to worship our God and King with all that is in me!
  28. Today I am thankful for a night of listening to some amazing music at the Christmas Pops concert with my daughter and some of my friends. Good music done well, along with snuggles from my girl and wonderful company made for a fantastic ending to a spectacular weekend.
  29. Today I am thankful for both exercise days and rest days. It always feels good to exercise, and sometimes it feels just as good to have a rest day.
  30. Today I am thankful for: finishing a run with no breathing trouble, friends that encourage me during my run (Anne Dawdy Borwick, Lisa Gaulden Barber), friends that let me “shop” in their closet for clothes that fit (Kimberly King Gan) so I can look nice for Joy Michelle Luttrell Veach and Stephen Kuehn‘s wedding this weekend, and the fact that I get to celebrate my sister’s wedding with all of my family in just a few more days!!!

What an exercise! It was good for me to have to think each morning about which of the things I was thankful for I wanted to post, because, when you make yourself become aware of what is happening in your life, you find many things that you are thankful for.

I hope that you had opportunity to find things to be thankful for over the last month, too. But don’t let it stop now. Continue to be aware of those things for which you are thankful, and thank the Lord for His gifts.

Of all the things that you are thankful for, which one rises to the top today?